


The Party

by BleedingInk



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Birthday Party, Established Dean/Anna, F/M, Family Drama, M/M, One Night Stands, relationship drama, the one that got away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2020-09-26 22:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 52,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20397016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleedingInk/pseuds/BleedingInk
Summary: Castiel is turning thirty five and his sister Anna insists on throwing him a party. Though Castiel is reluctant at first, he takes it as an excuse to reconnect with an old college friend, Meg... who also happens to be Gabriel's ex. Castiel hopes they can get through without too much drama blowing up in their faces, but add the Winchester brothers to the mix, and well, it's a party, alright.





	1. Chapter 1

“Then you just click there… and you’re done.”

Castiel stared at his brand new Facebook page with a grimace. He didn’t know why Claire had thought it was so important for him to have one, but his niece had insisted that he needed to “join the twenty-first century” and “have a way to communicate with her and Jack when they left for college”. So she’d taken that Saturday afternoon to drop by his apartment, her long blonde hair tied up in a ponytail like she meant business, and helped him set one up.

“And that’s it?” he asked her.

“Yup, that’s it,” Claire said, with a shrug. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Castiel stared at the picture of himself in his profile picture. He supposed it wasn’t, though he still didn’t understand why the page required such information as his hometown or his sexuality or his relationship status.

“I suppose it wasn’t…”

“Okay, so now let’s get you some friends. Click on the search bar and type Aunt Anna’s name.”

Castiel did as she instructed and was a little surprised when Anna’s face and profile came up. Claire explained where to click to add her as a friend and that Anna needed to see and accept his request.

“You can then list her as your family. The site will suggest more people for you to add as time goes by,” she explained.

“So I will be able to see what you’re doing in college?”

“Well, you’ll be able to see what we post,” Claire corrected him. “I’m not gonna post about all the crazy parties I’m planning to go to or all the pretty girls I’ll hook up with.”

“I’m sure your mother will be grateful for that.”

Claire laughed at him. She was usually a lot grumpier than this, but the prospect of finally graduating high school and going away seemed to be doing great things for her mood.

“I mean, it’s an adventure, right? I’m young, I should be enjoying my life.” She shrugged. “What did you do in college?”

“Study, mostly.”

Claire stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry at him.

“Come on!” she complained. “Uncle Gabriel has all this crazy stories about shit he got up to all the time, and you’re telling me you never tagged along to any of them?”

“Well, if you listened to the stories carefully, you’d know my role in them was to show up at the end to pay for the bond or drive them home.”

“Them?”

“Him,” Castiel corrected himself. “Gabriel, I mean. Occasionally, some of his friends. But mostly, Gabriel.”

Claire glanced at him as if she suspected he was lying, but then she shrugged.

“Well, I guess I’ll have Jack to do that for me.”

“Hopefully.”

Despite them being twins, Claire and Jack couldn’t be more different. Jack was a sweet, kind boy who was always looking to help others, while Claire worshipped their Uncle Gabriel and thought his stories about his college adventures were the most hilarious and amazing things ever. Castiel could only hope that she wouldn’t make many of the same mistakes Gabriel had made.

“Okay, I gotta go,” Claire said, checking the time on her phone. “I’ll see you next week for the party.”

“Ah, yes, the party,” Castiel mumbled. “Is there a chance I can contact all the people invited and tell them my apartment has caught fire and sadly it has been rendered useless for a social meeting?”

“You could try, but I doubt Aunt Anna will give you the list.”

Castiel couldn’t argue with that. He wasn’t sure why Anna was so insistent in throwing him a party for his thirty-fifth birthday, except for the fact that Anna liked doing things for people. Even if the people she was doing things for weren’t always on board with them.

Claire slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed for the door. She waved at Castiel before closing it behind him, leaving him feeling strangely lonely and more than a little melancholic.

Claire and Jack had grown so fast; he could scarcely believe they were already leaving for college. Their father, his oldest brother Luc, was someone they’d rather not talk about. He had been in and out of jail intermittingly during the twins’ lives, so Castiel, Anna and Gabriel had formed a support network around Luc’s ex-wife, Kelly, to help her with the twins. In a way, they’d raised them all together, because that was the kind of thing they did in their family.

But Anna was a very busy investigative journalist and Gabriel… he was also very busy, especially since his career as a stand-up comedian had taken off, but the real problem was that no one should trust Gabriel with a child for longer than an afternoon. Castiel was barely the same age Jack and Claire were now when they’d been born, but he’d ended up answering Kelly’s calls more often than his siblings. He was single, his job as an urban beekeeper was less demanding, he was patient with the children, so that had made him the perfect candidate to end up being their surrogate father.

Now they were (almost) all-grown up and Castiel… could he be experiencing empty nest syndrome even if the kids weren’t technically his? He should ask Kelly about it.

In any case, the conversation about college and what Gabriel referred to as “the good old days” hadn’t helped at all. It wasn’t that he felt ungrateful for his life, but he did realize sometimes how solitary it could be. When he was young, he’d dreamed about finding the perfect person for him and forming his own family, not just care for Luc’s. After some failed relationships, some disastrous dates that Kelly and Anna had set up for him, and resisting Claire’s insistence that he should join “Tinder”, whatever that was, he was starting to lose hope that it would happen.

There was another reason the thoughts of his non-existent love life and the memories of his college days were inextricably linked, however.

He added Gabriel, Kelly, Jack and Dean, Anna’s boyfriend, to his friends list.

Then he hesitated for several seconds with his fingers over the keyboard.

It was completely inappropriate. They hadn’t talked in ages and she hadn’t exactly walked out of his life. More like she’d stormed out and slammed the door behind her and… well, it wasn’t just his life that she’d walked out from, it was Gabriel’s too. He didn’t know how Gabriel would feel if he found Castiel had contacted her, but he’d very likely not be happy about it.

But then again, her friendship with Castiel predated her relationship with Gabriel. And if he was being honest (and why wouldn’t he be? He was alone in his apartment; there was no one to fool), he still missed her horribly. Even after the ugliness, even after all those years.

He wasn’t going to add her to his friends list, he decided. He was simply going to take a peek at her profile to find out how she was doing and nothing else. If she even had a profile; she’d never been one to be taken over by technological fads.

Taking a deep breath, Castiel typed out her name slowly, pressing every letter with force and hesitating before moving to the next.

_Meg Masters._

His screen went blank for a second and then Facebook spat out several Meg Masters. His was the third one.

He recognized her even though she had bleached her long dark hair blonde. She still had the same sweet brown eyes and some faint freckles on the bridge of her nose. She smiled at the camera with confidence, making Castiel feel a little self-conscious of the profile picture Claire had taken. He just… wasn’t all that photogenic.

But she looked great. Amazing, in fact. There were pictures of her atop of a mountain and of her posing with a black cat with green eyes. She shared posts about Wicca and Tarot reading. Her occupation was listed as “Nurse” and Castiel was a little surprised to find she had come back to town. Or maybe her profile was outdated and she’d never bothered to change it when she’d moved out?

The most surprising thing was that her relationship status marked her as “single”. That made no sense. Meg was a beautiful woman, she was smart and sassy and headstrong. Men should be lining up to date her.

Well, not men like Gabriel, obviously. But still.

Castiel stared at her smiling face for several seconds, the familiar butterflies in his stomach awakening as if they had never gone away. It was ridiculous. Yes, maybe he’d had a crush on Meg back when they were friends in college. Maybe more than a crush, maybe he’d been a little in love with her. And yes, maybe he still regretted not making a move before Gabriel had swept her off her feet and subsequently broken up with her.

All of that was in the past now, though, and there was no point in revisiting it, in picking at old scabs. Her relationship with Gabriel had gone down in flames after a few years and Castiel was certain that the fact she hadn’t attempted to contact him after their disastrous break-up meant she didn’t want to be reminded of it.

It still hurt that she’d stopped talking to him, though. Perhaps she’d thought he would take Gabriel’s side. Well, he was his brother. And his side was hard to argue with. But Castiel had the lingering feeling that there was still unsolved business with Meg, things that had been left unsaid. He didn’t lose sleep over it (not anymore, in any case). He had accepted that they were things he’d never know and he would just have to live with them.

Still, it was nice to see her face again. It was good to know that she was doing so well for herself. Perhaps that was all Castiel needed to finally let go of her.

He was about to close the page and turn of his computer when a red button on the blue bar atop lit up. He stared at it for a second, not sure what to do, before he clicked it.

_Meg Masters has sent you a friend request._

His heart leapt to his throat and stayed there, beating heavily. Could Facebook tell people when someone was stalking their profile? Did she know or had she just been thinking about him as well as some random, weird, happenstance? Oh, God, could she see he was connected right now and not answering her request?

He should decline. He ought to decline. For the same reasons he hadn’t meant to contact her, he had to leave it like that and stop thinking about the entire business.

His finger hovered over the button on the mouse, trembling. The butterflies in his stomach had turned into a heavy knot he didn’t know if he could undo. It was amazing that she still had this power over him, that she still could send him into a frenzy and she hadn’t even said a word to him. Just sent him a stupid friend request that he was going to decline, that he had to decline, for Gabriel’s sake, for his sake…

_You have accepted Meg Masters request._

Castiel looked at his hand as if it had acted out of its own free will. Why the hell had he done that? Only because he wasn’t satisfied, because he wanted to see her again, talk to her again like the old times? It was ridiculous, he needed to stop this right then…

A small window popped up at the button of his screen and stayed there, blinking. Claire hadn’t explained this. She’d said private messages were simply too advanced for him and that they needed to take baby steps. What was he supposed to do?

Well, he could start by reading the message, he guessed.

_>Clarence, is that really you?_

The old familiar nickname sent a shiver down his spine. But he found himself smiling as he typed out his reply:

_>Yes. Hello, Meg._

The three grey dots that indicated she was writing kept him firmly planted on his chair.

_>Well, hi! It’s been a while._

_>Yes. I suppose it has been._

_>You still talk like a Vulcan._

Castiel chuckled. One of the things Meg had constantly teased him about back in college had been the fact that he was “so damn formal”.

_>Some things never change, I guess._

_>I guess they don’t._

There was no activity on the little window for a few seconds. Castiel’s thoughts were racing in his mind, trying to come up with a topic quickly. He refused to let the conversation die an embarrassing, awkward death but what could he talk about? Her cats? Her religion? No, that would reveal that he’d been looking at her profile like a creep…

Meg sent another message.

_>I bought your book._

That surprised him enough to halt all his nervousness at the same time. He’d written the book a few years back, in a fit of inspiration, and he had been more surprised than anyone that a publisher had actually taken an interest in it.

_>Really?_

_>The Beehive in the Backyard: The Essential Book for the Urban Beekeeper. Fascinating read._

_>You’re joking._

_>Of course I’m not! In fact, I only added you because I want you to sign my copy._

Castiel was glad they weren’t carrying this conversation face to face. Meg would have probably been able to read all his emotions in his expression.

_>Are you suggesting we meet in person?_

The few seconds after sending that question and before Meg’s answer arrived seemed to stretch for an eternity.

_>If it’s okay with you._

He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. She was his brother’s ex-girlfriend. All their mutual friends hated her. Dean detested her, for starters, even though he’d barely interacted with her before the break-up. If what Gabriel had told them about her was true (and why would he lie?) she wasn’t the kind of person he wanted around himself or his nephews or…

_>When are you free?_

His heart had descended to somewhere on the pit of his stomach and his hands were trembling once again. There was a rational part of him that kept telling him meeting with her was a bad idea.

But to be quite honest, that part wasn’t in charge from the moment he’d seen her face again.


	2. Chapter 2

The food had grown cold while he waited for her.

Dean had been nibbling on some toasts for hours while he sadly watched the spaghetti turn into a sad, sticky mess on their plates with some red mushy liquid that had been tomato sauce before. He had reheated it three times already, but each time, it had just grown cold again, sitting untouched on the table like a sad portrait of everything that was wrong between them.

Anna had texted him telling him she’d be a little late. Dean had thought nothing of it, because she was always a little busy, especially since an older journalist had retired and people were getting ready to fight for his spot. It would be a huge promotion and Anna had her sights on getting it.

So at first, he wasn’t pissed. In fact, he was glad she was going to be late: it just gave him more time to set the stage: prepare the table, set the candle, make sure the food was perfect.

Then she’d texted him again and told him she’d be even later. He still thought nothing of it. Maybe they’d eat later than he intended, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like an anniversary or their birthdays or Valentine’s Day or any day important. He was just trying to have a nice gesture towards her. She was always so tired when she got home because her job was so demanding that most nights she usually ate some ramen or whatever it was in the fridge that she could microwave. Some nights she wouldn’t even cuddle on the couch with Dean, she went straight to her computer and kept working until after he went to bed. She needed a break and he wanted to give that to her, so he’d proposed they had a lowkey date in their own apartment. Nothing fancy, just two of them having some actual dinner for a change, no phones, no computers, nothing work-related…

He’d already reheated the food a second time when her third text arrived, telling him she’d be later still.

That was when the frustration inside of him started bubbling. He’d made himself some toast because he was starving and had sat down to contemplate the failed dinner, pondering his options.

Well, he could just go to sleep and leave the food there, for Anna to feel bad when she finally arrived. Let her know that he was trying, he was still trying after all those years, but it seemed like she cared more for her job than she did about their relationship and it was grinding on him. They weren’t in their twenties anymore, dammit, and he wanted a future. He wanted to start a family with her. They had been together for so long and they had talked about getting married someday, but Anna kept postponing and postponing it because it just was never the right time and…

He picked up the table, put the spaghetti away in the fridge and started washing the dishes. He was not going to convince Anna that they were mature enough and ready to start a family if he acted like a scorned teenager.

He had fished rinsing the dishes when he heard the door clicking open. He could mentally picture Anna taking off her sensible light jacket, kicking off her boots and hanging her purse and her keys: the same routine she followed every single night when she got home. It took her around thirty seconds. Usually he watched her in silence from the couch and tried to tempt her to sit down and cuddle with him. Sometimes, on good days, he succeeded.

He had the feeling that wasn’t going to be one of those days.

“Dean?” she called out.

He didn’t answer, just let the sound of the water guide her to where he was.

“Babe?” she called.

Dean put away the last dish, threw the towel down on the counter and finally turned around. He wanted to say goodnight and kiss her and act as if nothing was wrong, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to do that. Because it wasn’t alright and he needed to hear an apology before he could even start to get passed how pissed off he was.

Anna seemed to know this, because she cringed when his eyes settled on her. She was beautiful as always, willowy and with her bright red hair tied up in a bun. Dean liked it more flowing free over her shoulders, because then she wasn’t Anna the intrepid journalist that kept climbing the ranks in her newspaper. When her hair was down, she was Anna, the fun-loving, smart, strong girl he had fallen for.

And he rarely got to see that Anna anymore underneath this tired shell of herself that came home every night.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know you had this whole thing planned, but there was an emergency at the office and I had to stay to fix things and it was more complicated than I thought it was…”

“Oh, you had to stay?” Dean said. “_You_ had to?”

He immediately regretted his tone, if only because it made Anna step back and get defensive.

“Yes, Dean, I had to. Because it was in my department.”

Dean raised his hands, indicating that he had meant nothing by it. It was just that Anna’s department was constantly getting set on fire and she was the single person at the fire station. He didn’t say this out loud, of course.

“Fine. You did what you had to do.”

Anna breathed out in relief. She must have thought that would be the end of the argument.

“I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

Usually when she said that, she followed it up by walking up to Dean, throwing her hands around his neck and kissing him in a way that made it particularly clear how she planned on making it up.

This time, however, she turned around and Dean knew, he just knew it in his gut; that she was going to take out her laptop and begin typing away in it again. As if she had never left the office.

“Are they at least going to pay you for it?”

Anna stopped on her tracks and turned to look at him again.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re always working extra hours, bringing home loads, doing late nights. I mean, hell, when was the last time you slept in on a weekend?” he pointed out. “Are they going to pay you the extra time?”

This managed to get Anna even more on the defensive. Dean couldn’t understand that she was so willing and ready to defend that hellhole she called her office. They exploited her and they didn’t pay her enough. It was supposed to be a temporary thing until the newspaper got its online division set, but now the online division was up and running and Anna did all the work of keeping it that way… but she was not compensated accordingly. She complained about it over and over, but as soon as Dean suggested that she should do something about it, like complain to her boss, for example, she got mad.

Like she was going right now.

“It’s not that simple, Dean.”

“What’s complicated about it? You just need to make it clear that you work for them. You’re not doing all of this out of the goodness of your heart.”

“Of course I’m not!” Anna replied. She seemed annoyed that Dean wasn’t getting this, whatever ’this’ was. “I’m playing the long game. People need to see me as a leader, they need to see me as someone responsible enough to get the promotion.”

“Have they even offered it to you?”

“Merv knows I want it.”

“Merv is a dick,” Dean snapped.

It was the truth. He had met him during one of the office parties he’d attended with Anna and he’d found it insufferably smug.

Anna, of course, had a different opinion.

“He is an award winning journalist trying to launch a new medium…”

“That doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s dick!” Dean insisted. “He puts too much on you and he expects to always be readily available and for what? On the remote chance that you might get a promotion?”

Anna looked at the ceiling, her lips parted in a gesture of disbelief. She obviously thought that Dean was being completely irrational, because her next argument was like a punch in the gut.

“You realize that I’m doing this for us, right? At least one of us has to make enough to pay the bills. The workshop and the scrapyard barely make enough to get by, not to mention make an actual profit.”

It was Dean’s turn to get defensive. He’d inherited the workshop and the scrapyard from his dad and his Uncle Bobby, and yes, maybe he had an emotional attachment to them that didn’t exactly match up to how lucrative they were. And Anna had been dropping hints that perhaps it would be better for Dean to just sell them, but he was decided to keep them working. It was the family business. It had been good enough for his granddad and his dad, why couldn’t it be enough for him?

“At least the workshop makes me happy!” he countered. “Your job makes you miserable.”

“It makes me miserable now, but in the long run…”

“What? What do you think it’s going to happen in the long run? That we’re going to be living in a mansion uptown? Are you going to be able to enjoy that if you never get to come home?”

Anna threw her hands in the air.

“I can’t even talk to you when you’re like this!”

She turned heel and walked away into the room. Dean was thankful to not have anything in his hand, because he wasn’t sure that he could have hold himself back from throwing it against the wall. And then things would’ve got really bad, because Anna could then point that his temper was an impediment for him being the adult in the relationship and how she had to do all the work to keep things together and well…

He was trying. He really was. But he just… got so frustrated sometimes.

He stayed in the kitchen, finding some more things to clean up and put away, mentally counting to ten, to fifty, to one hundred, while he tried with all his might to calm down.

_Never go to bed mad, Dean_, his mother had told him. _Whatever you do, never go to bed mad. It’s like leaving food out of the fridge overnight._

The older he got, the more he found out that she was right.

Anna was in the bathroom, so Dean undressed and put on his pajama pants. He waited patiently for her to come to bed, half-fearing that she was going to go to the living room and get on her laptop to keep working after all.

After ten minutes, however, Anna stalked inside. She’d removed her makeup and let her hair down and she was wearing the same pajama tops. It was one or two sizes too large for her, so she could easily wore it as a nightgown.

Dean couldn’t help the feeling of fondness that crept up in his chest. That was his girl, the one he’d fallen so head over heels for one night at a stupid college party. And there they were, eight years later. He didn’t know when it had been that he’d looked at her and thought: _I could spend the rest of my life with this woman_.

He hadn’t believed he was worthy of spending his life with anyone. Relationships were hard work. But Anna was worth all the effort in the world.

She stopped barefoot on the carpet, looking at him with those enormous dark eyes of hers. Was she thinking the same thing as he was or was she still pissed because he’d called her boss a dick?

He was in luck. After a few seconds, she sighed deeply.

“I don’t want to fight. I hate it when we fight.”

“Me too,” Dean admitted.

He stretched his hands towards her and Anna easily walked up to him and settled on his lap. He cradled her against his body, one of his hand settling down on her thigh while the other tangled in her hair as she leaned down to kiss him.

“I’m sorry I called your boss an ass,” Dean sighed.

Anna giggled softly and sank her face on his neck.

“No, you’re right. He can be, sometimes,” she said. He was glad she could recognize this, but saying so would’ve been a little petty. “But I gotta put up with it, you know? I gotta keep pushing. This is important to me, Dean. And I’m sorry that sometimes I put us in the backburner.” She moved away to look at him. “I don’t mean to do it. I don’t _want_ to do it.”

“I know you don’t,” Dean said. He brushed one of her red locks off her face and tucked it behind her ear. “I just don’t want you to burn out.”

“I’ll try not to,” Anna promised with a smile and another kiss on the edge of Dean’s mouth. “But you know what would help me unwind right now?”

“Say no more!” Dean replied, and rolled over himself, throwing Anna down on the bed.

She laughed and threw her head back as Dean leaned over to kiss her on the neck.

And that was nice. It was really, really nice.

Still, even though the night ended well, Dean found that he couldn’t quite fall asleep. Anna was breathing deeply and softly, with her face sank in his chest, and he kept looking at her, running his fingers through her hair, thinking.

He’d really hoped the night would go differently. But as things were right now, he was happy he hadn’t pulled the ring from where it was hidden, inside the pocket of his dad’s old leather jacket. Now he would probably have to wait after Sam’s visit and Castiel’s birthday party to plan for another date to pop the question.


	3. Chapter 3

“… and that’s why my family can’t go back to church anymore.”

The bar erupted in rapturous laughter, every single person there doubling over in laughter. Gabriel basked into the applause and laughter for a moment before he fist-bumped the air in a sign of triumph.

“Thank you, don’t forget to tip your waitress!”

He put the microphone back on the stand, waved and bowed down at the public and high-fived Balthazar, the club’s owner, as he stepped down from the stage. He’d had a good night, a receptive crowd and an amazing delivery. All he needed now for the night to be perfect was to find someone to go home with and have some fun.

“Give me a beer, Benny, and make sure it’s freezing cold!”

Benny, the tall, burly man bartender, smiled at him and turned around to look for a coaster. Gabriel’s eyes travelled down his back, appreciatively. It was a shame it never wouldn’t have worked between the two. Benny was disappointingly straight and Gabriel wasn’t into bears… well, not generally. He did like a tall man, though.

A tall man like the guy who was sitting at the other end of the counter right now. Gabriel eyed him out of the corner of his eye as he knocked back his beer. He was so tall he had to bend his legs in a weird angel to fit on his stool, broad shoulders, brown hair falling down over his shoulders.

Hot as hell.

He was nursing his drink without really talking to anybody and that gave Gabriel hope that he wasn’t there with a date. Well, nothing risked, nothing gained. Even if it didn’t work out, Gabriel wasn’t against having a nice, friendly chat with someone who looked like that guy.

He slipped a twenty to Benny and pointed at the guy. Benny was a real pal; it wouldn’t be the first time he helped him with a potential conquest.

The guy was surprised when Benny put down the bottle next to him and even more so when the bartender pointed at Gabriel. He smiled and waved at him. The tall guy smiled back. He was a little taken aback, with his eyebrows raise and those very charming shoulders raised, but he was obviously not offended or angry.

That was a good start.

Gabriel turned his attention back to his beer, and waited. The bait was on the water and all he had to do now was wait.

After greeting some people who walked past him and ordering another beer for himself, he caught a glimpse of the tall guy awkwardly standing up from his stool and calmly striding towards him. He had to contain the impulse to smile at himself as his new friend settled down next to him.

“Thanks for the beer,” he said.

“Oh, thanks to you,” Gabriel replied.

Tall Guy knitted his brows together.

“Your very presence makes this place a lot more interesting,” Gabriel pointed out.

It was one of his cheesiest pick-up lines, but it worked like a charm. Tall Guy chuckled and looked down at his shoes, his cheeks getting slightly pink. Christ, he was insanely hot. Was he an actor or an underwear model or something? Because he ought to be.

Gabriel decided not to express that thought out loud.

“So, I’m not going ask if you come here often,” he started. “I’m here every week and it’s the first time I see you.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Tall Guy admitted. “I’m just in town for the weekend.”

“Really?” Gabriel arched an eyebrow. This was turning more and more interesting. Guys from out of town were always looking to have some fun, and that was just fine by him. “Any reason in particular or are you just passing through?”

“I’m visiting my brother.”

“I see.” Gabriel smiled. Much of his act that night revolved around anecdotes from his own siblings, so this was something they maybe could bond over. Not that he cared to bond with the guy. Well, just enough so his invitation wouldn’t be turned down. “And where is he?”

“Home. His girlfriend… she had a little crisis at work and I thought it was better to leave them alone to deal with it,” he explained. “So I just wandered off and looked for somewhere to have a drink.”

“Well, you can certainly do that here,” Gabriel pointed out. “In fact, would you like me to buy you something a little stronger if you’re done with that?”

Tall Guy looked down as his almost empty bottle of beer and hesitated. Gabriel tried not to look too eager waiting for his answer, but he didn’t know how successful he was. He’d made the mistake of glancing at the guy’s hands and now he couldn’t stop noticing how huge and strong they seem and imagining how would they would feel gripping him tight and…

“You know what?” Tall Guy said, startling Gabriel. “Yeah, what the hell. I could have something stronger.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Gabriel grinned and ordered shots for the two of them.

Three shots later, he’d found out that Tall Guy’s name was actually Sam, that he had just the one brother and that he had graduated Stanford just a few years back.

“So you’re a lawyer, huh? That must be lucrative.”

“I wish.” Sam chuckled again. He laughed a lot more now that he had some alcohol running through his veins. “I’m a public defender, so… not exactly rolling in money. But it’s an important job, you know, there’s a lot people who fall through the cracks in the system and they need someone to help them out… sorry, I must be boring you.”

“Not at all,” Gabriel said. He was finding out that he could hear Sam speak for hours on end. “Like, you actually do something important. I just get paid for standing on a stage and telling dumb jokes.”

“But that’s also important. I just… you know, there’s a lot of bad things going on with the world. And people need to laugh.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Gabriel replied, picking his fourth… fifth… fourth shot of whiskey. After he was done with it, though, he decided to slow down. He was getting a good vibe from Sam and he didn’t want to ruin it by passing out on the guy.

“I really liked your show,” Sam continued. “I don’t usually go for stand-up comedy, but I laughed a lot tonight.”

“Oh, stop it, or I’m gonna start thinking you just want to get in my pants.”

Sam threw his head back and laughed. Gabriel fixated on the way his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down before he added:

“’Cause, you know, if you want to…”

“What?” Sam asked, a beam still plastered on his face and his eyes shining from the booze.

“Get in my pants,” Gabriel repeated. “Like, I’m entirely open to that.”

It was a pretty crude come-on, but Gabriel wasn’t sober enough for something subtler.

And judging by Sam’s reaction, it was good that he’d been blunt. He blinked a couple of times and let out another chuckle, as if he thought this was another one of Gabriel’s jokes. Slowly, though, he came to the realization that Gabriel was entirely serious about it.

“Oh,” he muttered. He moved away in the chair a little. “Oh. I’m not… I wasn’t… I don’t…”

That was not the answer Gabriel was looking to hear, but he managed to keep a neutral face.

“Hey, hey, that’s fine,” he said, stretching his hand to touch Sam’s forearm. He didn’t freak out and tried to shake him off, so again, a good sign. “But I gotta ask. Are you not into guys or are you just not into me?”

Sam let out a deep sigh and relaxed visibly.

“I’m not into one night stands.”

Gabriel clicked his tongue.

“Could I convince you to make an exception?”

Sam chuckled again, but shook his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m not… I’m not that kind of guy.”

Gabriel was certain that everyone could be that kind of guy with enough alcohol and flirting, but he’d got the message loud and clear. He knew when to cut his losses and besides, it hadn’t been all bad. They’d shared some good banter, some good laughs. He’d got to stare at Sam’s ridiculously handsome face for a couple of hours. He should count himself lucky.

“Well, if you’re sure…”

Sam raised his eyes and Gabriel swallowed. He’d noticed that his eyes were a beautiful shade of hazel when he’d first approached him, but now there was something else in them, something golden and smoldering that reduced him to a stuttering mess.

“… maybe we can… share a ride or… something…”

Sam leaned closer to him, his face now inches away from Gabriel’s.

“Then again,” he murmured, “I’m just in town for the weekend.”

“Oh, I like how you…”

Sam swallowed the rest of his words with a hungry kiss. Gabriel’s brain short-circuited from the combination of tequila and sheer horniness, so when Sam broke away from him, it took him ten entire seconds to decide what to do next.

And of course, he did the only rational thing to do in those circumstances. He grabbed him by the hand and practically stumbled out of his stool.

“Benny, put everything on my tab!” he screamed as he dragged a laughing Sam to the door before he had time to change his mind.

He didn’t change his mind.

And thank God for that.

Gabriel laid down on his back, staring at the ceiling and breathing heavily, overwhelmed. He had definitely not been expecting all of that from Sam. He looked like such an unassuming guy… then again, he should know by now that the quiet ones were always the freakiest ones.

Sam moved by his side on the bed.

“Sorry if I was little forceful,” he whispered, and he really did sound ashamed. “It’s just… it’s been a while…”

Gabriel turned to stare at him, incredulous. Sam not only had a great face and super nice manners; he also had the kind of body Gabriel only expected to see in underwear catalogues. Six packs, massive biceps… and that tattoo over his left pec… if Gabriel hadn’t just been fucked within an inch of his life…

He forced himself to look up at Sam’s face. Not that that made him any less horny.

“You’re kidding me, right? Like… _I’m_ getting laid every week and _you_ aren’t?”

Sam laughed softly. Gabriel suddenly understood the impulse that lead sailors to crash against rocks, because damn, that sound had to be one of the cutest thing he’d ever heard.

“Well, if I had someone to get laid with, maybe it’d be easier for me,” Sam commented. “But, uh… I just came out of a relationship and well…”

Crap. Gabriel was definitely not ready for this kind of emotional pillow talk. He rushed to try and find a joke to deflect and hopefully change the topic in the process.

“His loss, my gain.”

“Is it much of a gain if we’re not seeing each other again?”

Gabriel opened his mouth and the closed it again.

“Touché,” he admitted. “But you know, you got to appreciate what you have right now, it’s what I always say.”

“Yeah. You seem like the kind of guy who lives in the present.”

Gabriel had no idea what to answer to that. A part of him thought that maybe he should feel a bit insulted, but it didn’t sound like Sam had meant it like that. Especially when he laid down on the pillows, staring pensively up, and added:

“Maybe I should be a little more like that. Stop making so many plans.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry, I’m… I’m a mess and you probably don’t want to hear any of this.”

He was right, so Gabriel didn’t tell him otherwise. Instead, he inched closer to him on the bed and placed his chin on Sam’s shoulder.

“Well, right now, you’re in bed with one of the funniest guys in the state, and we have enough condoms and lube to go a few more rounds. If you’re interested in that.”

A soft smile appeared on Sam’s lips. He put a hand under Gabriel’s chin and planted a kiss on his lips, slow and deliberate, until Gabriel found himself shivering and moaning softly against his mouth. Damn, the bastard was good.

“I am definitely interested,” Sam muttered after they broke away. “Let me just call my brother and tell him I’m not coming home tonight.”

Gabriel was surprised he hadn’t done that on the taxi or while he was in the bathroom before they got into bed. Did Sam think they were going to fuck and that Gabriel was just going to kick him out right after they were done? Come on, he was a gentleman.

Well, to be fair, Sam probably didn’t know what to think about him. And really, did it matter? Like he’d said, they weren’t going to see each other again after that night. Gabriel shamelessly checked Sam’s ass while he rummaged through the clothes discarded on the floor searching for his cellphone. It was kind of a shame, though. He wouldn’t have minded keeping Sam around a little bit longer. He seemed like a really awesome guy with a freaky streak and, given his height, he was probably great at spooning…

No, no. That sort of thinking was how troubles started. Gabriel had learned his lesson and he knew he wasn’t built for long-term relationship.

He was thirty-eight, though. Who knew how long he was going to be able to keep fucking pretty boys ten years younger than him?

Sam returned to the bedroom and put his cellphone away over the night table.

“All settled,” he said, sliding back underneath the sheets.

Gabriel smiled to himself. He didn’t know how long he could keep doing this, but damn if he wasn’t to enjoy every second out of it. He grabbed a handful of Sam’s ass and pulled him closer, both of them laughing as their mouths clashed together again.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel was nervous.

He didn’t really understand why. He’d exchanged several texts with Meg during the week and there seemed to have been some good feeling between them. Then again, they’d talked about some very inconsequential things, like Castiel’s job, Meg’s cats, what books they were reading, what they wanted to eat when they met. Meg introduced the concept of brunch to him and proposed a nice little café near her side of town.

And there he was now, mid-Saturday morning, toying with his phone. Meg was late and he didn’t want to think that she’d backed down from meeting him, but she also hadn’t texted him to let him know she was on her way.

Besides… what would they say once they were face to face? There were a lot of important topics and questions that they had avoided in their conversations so far. Like… Gabriel, for example. That was the big one, of course, but there were other things that Castiel wanted to ask her. Why hadn’t she answered his calls after the break-up? Why had she walked out on him as well as his brother? Why had she…?

A large white bus parked right in front of the café. Castiel wouldn’t have even paid attention to it if he hadn’t been watching the street like a hawk, wondering if Meg would show up on her own car or in a taxi. Maybe she would walk from the bus stop in the corner…

The door on the side of the white bus opened up and a ramp stretched out of it. Castiel caught a blonde woman in a wheelchair sliding out of it… and it took him a second or two to realize that she was Meg.

She looked over her shoulder and showed the bus driver a thumbs up. Then, she maneuvered the wheelchair towards the café’s door. Castiel stood up, ready to help her, but at the same time, he was too astonished to know exactly what to really do. Meg moved among the tables, ignoring the dirty looks the patrons gave her if she bumped into their chairs and stopped right in front of Castiel.

“Well, hello, Clarence. Don’t stand up on my account.”

Her voice still sounded the same, smoky and deep, and Castiel was instantly transported to his freshman year in college, when he’d heard it for the first time. She’d sat next to him in a class and kept making jokes under hear breath about whatever the professor was talking about until Castiel cracked up and had to leave the classroom to contain his fit of laughter. She’d run out after him and grabbed him by the arm.

“Sorry, sorry,” she’d said, but the smile in her face indicated she was anything but. “Didn’t think you were going to laugh at that.”

Castiel wanted to be mad with her, he really did. But he’d spent the last weeks trying to find the way to keep up with classes and his new part time job, to stay on top of things without having a breakdown, and this had been the first time he’d laughed since arriving to campus.

“You’re very funny,” he’d said, and of course, he'd managed to sound like a weirdo. Luc, Anna and Gabriel were always warning him that he couldn’t just say whatever that came into his mind.

Meg, however, hadn’t found anything weird about it.

“Let me buy you a coffee,” she’d offered. “You know, to make it up to you.”

Their friendship had started with that cup of coffee. Maybe Meg’s intention when asking him to that place was to remind him of that.

“Meg,” he said, and he awkwardly took a step forwards, not sure what to do with his hands. Should he hug her? Would it be insulting if he leaned over?

She smiled and stretched her arms towards him. Castiel sighed deeply. Despite all these years, she still knew how to take him out of the spirals that his mind tended to form. He placed his arms around her back, taking in her warmth and her citric perfume before he let go of her and moved one of the chairs away so she could roll closer to the table.

“My God, it’s been forever!” she said, smiling wide. “How you’ve been?”

“I’m… I’m good, thank you…”

“Oh, before I forget.” Meg turned around and grabbed the backpack that hanged from one of her chair’s handles. She opened it and extracted and oval-shaped object wrapped up in shiny golden paper with a bow on top of it. “Happy birthday.”

Castiel held the present in his hand, mesmerized that something so simple would make him feel so warm inside all of the sudden. Perhaps his birthday wasn’t going to be as much of a source of stress as he’d thought.

“You remembered!”

“Of course I remembered,” Meg said, rolling her eyes. “Come on, you’re going to tell me you don’t remember when my birthday is?”

It was next month, near the end of July. She was right, of course. They had been friends for far too long to forget details like that.

“Open it!” she encouraged him.

Castiel unceremoniously ripped the paper apart. The object was soft and yellow and for a moment he wondered why had Meg bought him a scarf with such a strange color, before he realized the thing also had black stripes, small wings and a round, smiling face.

A bee plushie.

He burst into laughter when he realized and judging by Meg’s expression, that was exactly the reaction she was after.

“That’s adorable,” he said, placing it right in the center of the table so it could accompany them for the rest of the talk.

“You’re adorable,” she told him and stretched her hand to run it through his hair. “You haven’t changed one bit.”

The familiar gesture sent a shiver down his spine. Meg used to rustle his hair like that all the time back in college because she insisted he looked “hotter” all disheveled and “Come on, Clarence, don’t you want to impress the girls?”

He’d never told her there was only ever one girl that he’d wanted to impress.

“What?” she asked and he realized with a startle that he’d been staring at her uninterruptedly for the last few seconds.

“Nothing.” He quickly looked away. “Just… a lot of things _have_ changed.”

A waitress approached them to get their orders and when she left them again, Castiel realized that Meg thought he’d meant with her.

“You can ask about the chair,” she said, with a sigh. “It’s fine.”

Castiel grimaced.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine,” she insisted.

“No, it isn’t. It’s none of my business and you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”

Meg blinked at him, surprised. It was as if she had been expecting him to bring it up immediately and was shocked that he wasn’t going to insist on learning what the problem was.

The waitress came back with their orders. Meg still drank her coffee black and with very little sugar.

He opened his mouth to try and change the topic, but she put her cup back down with an audible thud that interrupted him.

“I got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis a few years back,” she explained. “I lost some mobility on my legs. I was using crutches for a while, but my doctor told me to stop being a stubborn idiot that makes things unnecessarily hard on herself and just get a chair. I’m paraphrasing, but not really.”

That sounded like Meg. She was fiercely independent and she’d never been one to ask for help, even when it was clear she needed it.

“I’m sorry,” he said, because he really didn’t know what else to say.

“I’m not.” Meg shrugged. “I’m still getting used to moving with this, but she was right. My doctor, I mean. I’m not struggling as much as I was. And hey, I can always pimp it up a bit, make it more me. I’m thinking of painting ‘_Hell on Wheels_’ on the back.”

She was still smirking, but the look she threw at him was almost defiant. Like she was daring him to say something about it, something that would make her feel bad or to express any sort of sympathy for her situation. Castiel understood that if he did, this brunch would be over before it really had a chance to begin.

“Maybe you can paint flames on the sides or the wheels,” he suggested.

This time, when Meg laughed, there was sincerity on it and maybe a bit of relief as well.

“See? There you go,” she said. She took another sip of her cup and asked: “So how are the twins?”

She was shocked to find that they were going to college that fall and he was shocked to find that her brother had got married. He remembered Tom as this tall, stoic man who never cracked a smile and could be a bit scary sometimes. He couldn’t imagine what kind of woman would marry him, but he guessed there was people for everything in the world.

“They’re still together?” Meg asked with surprise, when they talked about Anna and Dean.

“Why is that surprising?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I remember Dean as being this huge womanizing jerk. I thought they’d last maybe three years, top. I never pictured him actually settling down.”

“Well, I’m sure neither did he,” Castiel admitted, with a chuckle. It was surprising to remember the kind of person Dean had been before he got together with Anna. “But yes, they’re still together and they’re happy, as far as I’m aware.”

He told her about how Dean had practically mounted a whole secret operation to find out about Anna’s ring size. Castiel had been in on it, as part of the scheme consisted on pretending that Anna had forgotten a ring at his apartment.

For some reason, Meg found that idea hilarious.

“You’re the worst liar in the entire world,” she pointed out. “There’s no way she didn’t catch on to what was going on!”

“Well, according to Dean, she has not given any indication of having found out yet,” Castiel said. “And I’m not that bad a liar.”

“Please.” Meg crooked an eyebrow. “Remember that time we tried to pretend we were dating to get the Sweet Valentine’s special price at the pizzeria and you got so nervous that you had to hide in the bathroom for ten minutes?”

Castiel laughed along with her. He wasn’t going to tell her that the reason he’d got so nervous wasn’t because of the lying, but because he’d had to hold her hand and pretend to be in love with her.

And he’d been terrified of her finding out that he wasn’t really pretending at all.

Meg grabbed the last pretzel on the platter and took a bite before bringing up the topic they’d been both so carefully avoiding.

“So… how’s Gabriel?”

There it was. Castiel took time to finish his coffee before answering.

“He’s doing great. He has a regular gig at a comedy club, he tours every year, goes to auditions. He’s been in a couple plays and had some minor roles in a few movies. Nothing big, but… he’s acting and doing stand-up. Which is what he always wanted to do.”

Meg nodded. If someone would be well-aware of what Gabriel wanted to do, that would be her, of course.

“That’s great. I’m happy to hear it,” she said. And she sounded like she really meant it. There was no hurt or anger in her tone of voice. Nothing that reminded of the ugly break-up that had happened all those years ago.

Perhaps time did heal all wounds. Or perhaps Meg was simply too proud to show that she was still hurting over something like that.

Castiel hesitated. He wanted to ask what had happened, what had _really _happened. He’d heard Gabriel’s side of the story and what he’d said… well, it simply didn’t match with what he knew about Meg. To this day, it made no sense for him. He couldn’t believe that someone he’d known so well for so long had said those cruel things to his brother, to the person she supposedly loved.

But then the waitress came back.

"Do you want to order anything else?"

"Well," Meg checked the hour on her phone. "Guess this brunch just turned into lunch, huh? Unless you have somewhere to be..."

"I'm fine."

They ordered sandwiches and more coffee. The moment to talk about gabriel had passed like a cloud blown away by the breeze.

“And what about you?”

“What about me… what?” Castiel asked, confused.

“What are you doing besides writing books about bees and taking care of your nephews?” she wanted to know. “Because you’re doing something besides that, aren’t you?”

Castiel forced out a little laugh.

“No, not really. That’s about it. You know me, I’m not much of a socializer.”

“I have met tortoises who are more extroverted than you,” she replied and this time Castiel’s laughter was sincere. Well, she wasn’t really wrong. “But come on, you’re going to tell you haven’t… you know, dated anyone? Got married?”

The question surprised Castiel, but then again, he couldn’t read too much into it. She was asking as a friend, of course, and he needed to get a grip of himself.

“I’m what Anna calls a hopeless bachelor.”

She laughed and Castiel figured she was going to change the topic next. He didn’t want her to. She had been honest with him about her illness, he needed to be honest with her as well.

“There was someone. Her name was April,” he confessed. It was hard to think about that time in his life, so he simply said: “It didn’t work out.”

“Why not?”

Castiel took a moment to think up the right answer to that. He didn’t want to revisit the extent of everything April had put him through, so he summarized it the best he could.

“She just… she wasn’t the person I thought she was.”

Meg nodded, comprehensive.

“I’ve been there.”

She didn’t clarify if she meant it with Gabriel or with someone else.

Castiel’s mouth was dry with nervousness. Maybe her Facebook profile just hadn’t been updated, maybe whoever she was with at the time wasn’t that serious yet. Still, he wanted to know. He needed to know.

“What… what about you?”

It would’ve sounded a lot more casual if he hadn’t stuttered. Meg didn’t notice, though, because she simply shrugged again.

“No one of importance,” she said. “And these days… well, I don’t always have the spoons to go out and actually meet people, so I’m a free agent.”

Castiel blinked several times. What did that mean, exactly? It didn’t matter, though. What he’d heard was that she was not with anyone at the time.

They stayed in silence, looking at each other as if they were trying to figure something else, as if they were looking what new words to say. Castiel had been so nervous about seeming like a weirdo, about making her feel bad or saying the wrong thing that he’d forgotten that sitting with Meg in silence, having a coffee like they didn’t have a worry in the world, like they had nowhere to be… well, it had always been the easiest thing in the world.

And it continued to be now.

Maybe she was thinking the same thing, because she smiled softly and placed her hand over Castiel’s.

“It’s good to see you again,” she whispered.

Castiel let the warmth of those words spread inside of him for a second before he grabbed her hand as well.

“It’s good to see you too.”

The peace between them lasted for another five seconds.

His phone chimed loudly and shook, rattling over the table. Castiel closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh before he picked it up.

“Where are you?” Anna asked before he even had time to finish saying “Hello”. “You’re supposed to open the door, we’re supposed to start preparing the food and the decorations and…!”

She sounded extremely anxious, the way she did when things weren’t going according to plan, and he knew that in those cases, the best thing he could do was to just go along with her insanity. But then again… he wasn’t ready just yet to put an end to his reunion with Meg.

“You know where the spare key is. You can just let yourself in.”

“That is not how this works, Castiel!” Anna replied, her voice rising an octave. “This is your birthday party; you should be here to help out!”

If he hung up now, Anna was just going to keep calling and calling. It was better to lie and let her do whatever she wanted.

“Alright, alright. I’ll be there in a while.”

“Yeah, you better!” Anna said, threateningly, and ended the call.

“You’re throwing a birthday party?” Meg asked him, with an eyebrow crooked when he explained the situation. “_You_?”

“Anna is throwing a party at my apartment and my birthday is the excuse."

“Yeah, okay, that makes more sense,” Meg conceded. “Well, I guess I should call my paratransit…”

Castiel toyed with his phone.

“Do you… want to come?” he asked, tentatively. “I mean, if you’re… if you’re up for it, I would love for you to be there.”

Meg stared at him, hesitant.

“Okay. I have one question, though.”

Castiel prepared to explain that Gabriel had said he would come, but that his presence in those kinds of events wasn’t always guaranteed. Even if he did show up, he would probably just stay for a while and then fuck off to the nearest bar to find a cute boy to take home for the night, but even then, if Meg didn’t want to see him, Castiel would understand…

“Does your building have elevators?” she asked instead.

The tension in his body escaped all at once and Castiel chuckled, relieved.

“Yes, it does.”

“Then I’d be delighted to come.”


	5. Chapter 5

The day was not shaping up the way Anna had pictured it would be.

Nothing this week was shaping up how she’d pictured it, actually. Starting with the dinner date she hadn’t showed up for on Wednesday… well, that was kind of Dean’s fault, really. Who organized a dinner date for the middle of the week? But fine, it was fine, they’d fought a little and then they’d made up. It didn’t matter.

Then, on Thursday, Sam had got there. Which wasn’t ideal: he was supposed to arrive on Friday, but he’d changed his ticket for the previous day so he could surprise Dean. Which was great, Anna loved Sam and Dean was delighted to have him there, of course… except that they hadn’t had time to set up the guest room for him. She was going to do that that afternoon so it would be ready for the following day and…

“It’s fine, Anna, don’t worry about it,” Sam had insisted while Anna was still mid-freakout. “Me and Dean can set it up.”

Anna hated that. She hated that Sam felt like he needed to help around there. He was nice enough not to make a big deal about it, of course, but she still felt like she was the worst host in the world for not having his space ready for him in time. Though how the hell was she supposed to know that he was going to get there a day earlier?

But fine, it was fine. Sam could keep Dean entertained while Anna worked on her computer. She was up to date with everything, but Merv had said that he was going to announce who he was promoting by the end of the week, so Anna needed to go above and beyond her duty to prove to him that she deserved that promotion.

And then, the cherry on top of that shit sundae had come on Friday.

“Alright, everybody, pay attention!” Merv had said, walking in the newsroom.

Immediately all the people that had been typing and staring at their computers stopped everything they were doing and all the eyes turned to his short, grey-haired figure. There was absolutely no doubt in anyone’s mind that the announcement that everyone had been waiting for was coming.

Anna had looked up, trying to stay calm, but she’d been practically jumping on her chair. If this turned out the way she’d been expecting it too, she could say goodbye to all the long nights that Dean hated, to all the fears that they weren’t going to be able to afford rent, to all the hesitating on whether their life should start then or whether they should keep on waiting…

“As everyone now, one of our editors, Naomi, has recently retired,” Merv had said. “And we’ve been waiting a while to decide who would be best to take on her job. Whoever he or she might be…”

Anna had had the impression that he was looking in her direction when he’d said “or she” and her heart had started beating faster. This was it. It had to be.

“… has some big shoes to fill,” Merv had continued. “So, without further ado… Gadreel, would you mind standing up?”

Anna had blinked a couple of times, trying to understand what was going on as her coworker stood behind her and walked up towards Merv.

“Everybody, I want you all to congratulate this guy!” Merv had announced. “Because starting Monday, he’ll be your new entertainment editor!”

Gadreel had smiled and waved, clearly a little overwhelmed at all the attention. There had been some lackluster applause. Some people had stood up to shake Gadreel’s hand, but not too many. He was a rather shy guy and no one was sure what exactly he did around the office.

Anna had stayed stuck on her chair, not knowing how to react. What the hell had just happened?

No, no, this couldn’t be. There had to be a mistake. Gadreel? The entertainment editor?

She'd shaken her head and done her best to go back to the piece she’d been trying to write all day, but her brain had simply refused to collaborate with it. All the words had stopped making sense and she couldn’t put together a single coherent sentence.

So ten minutes later, she’d found an excuse to walk into Merv’s office. He was, as always, typing away in his computer.

“The new photographs you requested for tomorrow’s edition,” she’d said, placing them on his desk.

“Excellent. Thank you, Anna,” he’d said, without even looking at her.

She’d waited. It had taken about a minute for Merv to notice that she wasn’t leaving.

“Is there anything else you need?”

Before walking in there, Anna had been ready to make an impassioned argument about what a mistake Merv had made, to tell him he was making a mistake and Gadreel just wasn’t the right person for the job. But when she’d opened her mouth, the words that came out instead were:

“Why did you pass me up? You knew I wanted that promotion!”

Which, of course, had made her sound like a whiny, entitled, idiot. Merv had slowly turned towards her and pulled his glasses off.

“I mean, yeah, you told me that. But you didn’t really.”

“What?” Anna had asked, because she simply couldn’t process what he was telling her.

“You want to spend all day supervising stories about which actor is dating which pop singer?” Merv had rolled his eyes. “Come on, Anna!”

He was right, of course. Anna hated the entertainment section, but she wasn’t afraid to do any humiliating, boring work, if the pay was a little bit better and she could carve a name for herself. It wasn’t about doing what she liked, it was about climbing echelons until she could become a news editor or, even better, an editor-in-chief. She just needed to keep on grinding and it would eventually happen for her.

Except that it hadn’t happened. And she couldn’t understand why.

“What did I do wrong?” she’d asked Merv. “Why did you choose Gadreel?”

Merv had sighed, clearly not wanting this conversation to go a second longer than it needed to.

“It’s not about what you did wrong,” he’d said. “It’s about what you did right. You’re way too smart and way too good a reporter to be wasting your time in the entertainment section.”

“But I don’t mind…”

“I know you don’t mind. You work harder than anyone else in this newsroom,” Merv had interrupted her. “And that’s exactly why I need you to stay where you are. Maybe something bigger will come your way, Milton, but I don’t want you wasting your talents in the meantime.”

Anna had taken her leave then. Not because she didn’t want to keep arguing, but because she was way too angry and way too frustrated to say another word. And then she’d done something she hadn’t done in the last two years since she’d been working in that newspaper: she’d gone home early.

Dean was almost startled when he’d seen her walk in. Him and Sam had been sitting in front of the TV in their socks, each with a beer bottle in their hand, while a wrestling match played on the screen.

“Hey, you’re…” he’d started, but then his green eyes had fixed on her face. “What happened?”

Instead of answering, Anna had grabbed a pillow, held it against her face and screamed out until her lungs had given out.

“Woah, Anna! Babe, are you okay?”

“The motherfucker passed me up for the promotion!” Anna had shouted. “He just… he put this weirdo no one respects in charge and _he passed me up_!”

She’d screamed against the pillow once more, while Dean had hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. It was obvious he’d had no idea what to tell her, but Anna wasn’t sure there was anything he could say to make her feel better. She wasn’t even sure she would feel better even if Merv had called her and told her he’d seen the error of his way and that she’d deserved the promotion either way.

“Okay, I think I’m gonna…” Sam had muttered.

“Yeah, you should.”

And Anna should’ve felt bad for being a horrible host to Sam again, but she’d just been too busy wallowing in self-pity to do that. Sam had practically fled their apartment, which was just as well, because Anna needed to walk around and scream and complain about Merv some more.

“… can you believe he said that?!”

“Well, I mean,” Dean had muttered. “You know I think he’s a dick.”

Anna had stopped walking around to stare daggers at him. There was a “but” hiding in that tone of voice and she’d hoped it wasn’t what she thought it was going to be.

It turned out it was.

“But I think he might have been right in this one particular instance…”

“How can you say that?! You know I wanted the promotion!”

“Anna, maybe the promotion isn’t that important, you know?” Dean had suggested. “Maybe what’s more important is that you keep proving what a great kickass investigative journalist you are…”

“So you agree with him?!”

That had brought about another round of screaming while Anna raged at Dean for not understanding her point of view and Dean tried to calm her down by insisting that he hadn’t said exactly what she’d literally just heard him say.

And she knew Dean had this rule about not going to bed mad, but by the time Sam had called to say he wasn’t coming back until the morning, Anna was simply too furious and too tired to attempt any sort of reconciliation.

“I just… I can’t, I can’t!” she’d said, shaking her head. “I… oh, shit, Cas’ birthday’s tomorrow!”

“Yes, it is,” Dean had said. “Listen, why don’t you just have a shower and then we go to bed, okay? I’m sure things will look better in the morning.”

Anna had done that, not because she believed that it was going to be any better in the morning, but because she simply didn’t know what else to do.

And she was right. The first thing she thought about when she opened her eyes on Saturday morning was that she was going to take that day, and kick it in the ass. They had the cupcakes, they had the decorations, they had everything ready. She was going to throw Castiel the best fucking birthday party of his life.

And then Sam had come back from wherever he’d been the night before late and looking a little embarrassed with a hickey on his neck. And then they’d showed up at Castiel’s door and it turned out he wasn’t there, even though Anna had the texts to prove that he knew they were coming.

“He said just to go inside!” she complained after calling him. “Can you believe him?! That’s not how this works!”

The Winchester brothers exchanged a look with their eyes wide open. They clearly thought she was going insane, but they weren’t going to say it out loud. Anna let out an exasperated growled.

“Well? I’m not going to start digging!”

Dean sighed and handed Sam the cupcake trail.

“Anna, don’t you think you’re taking this a little bit serious?” he asked, but he did kneel in front of the flower pot next to Castiel’s apartment door. “I mean, it’s just a party. We’re supposed to take it easy… unwind a little, you know? People aren’t going to start getting here until like six in the afternoon…”

“Exactly!” Anna exclaimed. “Which means we only have six hours to get everything ready!”

“Okay, okay,” Dean said, in a conciliatory tone. He pulled the spare key from among the dirt and extended it to her. Anna raised an eyebrow and stared daggers into him until he realized she wasn’t going to touch that thing with her freshly manicured nails. “Okay,” Dean said once more as he turned to open the door for them.

“Sam, put the cupcakes on the fridge!” she instructed as soon as they stepped inside. “Dean, turn on the oven and start unfreezing the pizza rolls. I’m gonna go on a beer run to make sure that everyone has enough to drink.”

“Woah,” Dean said, raising his hands. “Why don’t you let me do that?”

Anna took a second to stop herself from screaming out loud.

“Babe,” she started, and that word came out sharp enough that Dean slouched a little. Anna continued anyway: “I know you’re… very particular about your car. But you either give me the damn keys or I take them from your passed out body after I strangle you.”

“Well, when you put it that way…” Dean mumbled, reaching inside his pocket.

“You might wanna hurry too,” Sam added. He was standing on the kitchen’s doorway, checking his cellphone. “The weather says there’s a freaky storm coming…”

Anna stared at him. Sam realized this was not what she wanted to hear, so he put his cellphone down.

“I mean, it won’t be until later,” he clarified, quickly. “And I’m sure it won’t mess up with the guests coming, at all.”

Anna sighed and turned quickly, only to catch Dean putting his hands down. He’d obviously had been signaling something to Sam, probably for him to shut the hell up.

And she felt terrible. She genuinely did. She realized she was acting like an absolute control freak dick, but nothing had turned out right that week and goddammit, she needed this one thing to work out.

So she was going to make it work or fucking die trying.

“Great. That’s great,” she said. She pinched the bridge of her nose and grabbed the keys of Dean’s Impala. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Take your time. And don’t worry about anything here. We got this!” Dean told her.

That actually did nothing to calm her down, but Anna knew they were trying, so she forced out a smile and opened the apartment’s door.

The elevator door across the hall opened almost at the same time and Anna saw, with growing horror, that Castiel had arrived. And he wasn’t alone.

She was different. Her face was rounder, her hair was bleached blonde instead of dark brown and she was in a wheelchair, of all things. But Anna recognized her immediately nonetheless and she started considering just throwing herself down the flight of stairs.

Because Castiel had brought along the one person that could make the night entirely too awkward.

“Hello, Anna,” Meg Masters greeted her when she rolled closer. “Long time no see!”


	6. Chapter 6

There was an art to being fashionably late and Gabriel had mastered it. It consisted on finding something to do that it was entertaining enough to make himself forget that he had somewhere to be, and then make an entrance when the party was in full swing and everybody had begun wondering if he was going to show up.

He wished he could have convinced Sam to help him out with that, but he’d insisted that his brother had needed him for something.

“I really can’t stay,” he’d said.

He was a vision in last night’s creased clothes and smelling of Gabriel’s shaving cream. It was a shame that he couldn’t even stay for breakfast… then again, they woke up so late that it would be best to say brunch at that point.

“Are you sure? I make a mean bacon sandwich.”

“You should meet my brother. He would definitely take you up on that offer,” Sam had chuckled as he tied up his shoes.

He’d stood up from the chair and walked up to the kitchen aisle where Gabriel was busying himself with the coffee maker. He’d had his hands hidden in his pockets and looked adorably shy. Gabriel couldn’t believe this was the same man that’d done unspeakable things to him the night before. How the hell did he manage to be both unbearably cute and also mouth-watering sexy?

“I… I had a great time last night,” Sam had said, his cheeks blushing as he’d lowered his eyes.

“I did too.” Gabriel grinned. “Best time I’ve had in a while.”

“Bet you say that to all the guys you bring here,” Sam had said.

Gabriel had tried (unsuccessfully) not to be hurt by those words. Yeah, he’d commented that he was strictly into one night stands those days, but that didn’t mean that he was a slut. Or that he was being insincere with Sam.

Regardless, that wasn’t what was plaguing Sam, so he’d waited.

“I… is there any point to us exchanging numbers?” Sam had asked after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.

Gabriel had licked his lips.

“Best not,” he’d said. “I mean, you could give me your number, but… I can’t guarantee I’m gonna call you if I’m ever in California.”

“Right.” Sam had nodded. “And if you give me your number, you can’t guarantee that you’re going to pick up when I call you.”

He’d almost sounded sad saying that. And dammit, they did have a good time the previous night and Gabriel was certain he wasn’t going to find a man this gorgeous again, not for a long time. He’d almost given in, he’d almost wanted to give Sam hope that maybe this wasn’t a one night stand after all, that there could be something else growing…

But he’d resisted at the last second.

“That road only leads to disappointment,” he’d told Sam. “It’s best to leave last night as a really good memory.”

“Is that how you do it? You think of this as… collecting good memories?”

“Only thing worth collecting!” Gabriel had pointed out and Sam had laughed, but it’d sounded forced.

So that had been a bit of awkward goodbye, but it was fine. It was the same as always. Gabriel already knew this was how it was.

But even as he spent the rest of the day trying to write down some new jokes, checking his email to see if his agent had sent him any new scripts and all around just wasting time around his apartment, he couldn’t shake Sam off his head. It was obvious that he’d meant it when he said he didn’t go home with random dudes every night, and it was obvious that he hadn’t been ready to handle it, but that wasn’t Gabriel’s fault. He’d been honest about his intentions from the get-go.

But dammit, Sam was young and so sweet and perhaps there was something else that Gabriel could have said to make him feel better and…

Nope. It was out of his hands now. It was best that he focused on other things. Like finding a clean shirt to wear to Castiel’s birthday party. Not that it was going to be an opportunity to find another guy to take him home to try and forget about Sam. Knowing Anna, she’d probably invited people Gabriel already knew and wouldn’t fuck if they were the last men on earth. And knowing Castiel, he was going to be uncomfortable and hinting to people that he wanted them out of his apartment by nine o’clock. Gabriel could go, say “Happy birthday” to his little brother, have some beers to get his pre-game going and then call himself an Uber to go to the nearest gay bar. Now _that_ would be a party.

So, after looking himself in the mirror to make sure his hair looked fine, putting on some cologne and deciding that he wasn’t going to try and hide the hickie that Sam had given him, Gabriel was ready to roll. He ignored the heavy angry clouds gathering over the sky. They would probably be gone in a couple of hours, way after he’d already left the party.

He realized on the elevator ride to Castiel’s apartment, when it was already too late to do anything about it, that he hadn’t bought Birthday Boy a present. But hey, wasn’t being surrounded by all his friends and family a gift in and of itself? Castiel was enough of a dork to think so.

He heard the rumor of conversation and a light music coming from the apartment. The door was ajar, obviously because it was a pain to get up and open it every time someone arrived. Gabriel undid another button in his shirt and strode confidently towards it.

“Never fear!” he announced as he stepped in. “The life of the party is…!”

Someone grabbed him by the arm and hurriedly yanked him aside. Gabriel didn’t even have time to let out a yelp of protest or to see if someone had seen that ridiculous entry.

“What the hell, Anna?” he asked, as his sister closed the kitchen door behind them. “You ruined my entrance!”

“Yes, sorry about that,” Anna said quickly, but it didn’t sound like she was sorry about it at all. “Listen, there’s something that you need to know. There’s someone here that… you might not want to see.”

Gabriel’s thought flocked towards Sam once again, but that was ridiculous. Why would this random guy he’d picked up at the club be at his brother’s birthday party?

The door opened and Castiel stepped inside.

“Gabriel,” he greeted him, with an absolute flat tone of voice. Most people wouldn’t pick up on it, but Gabriel happened to know that this particular flat tone of voice indicated that Castiel was irritated or angry about something.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Gabriel asked, looking alternatively at either of his siblings. “Why are you two acting so weird?”

Anna crossed her arms over her chest.

“Tell him,” she said, staring at Castiel with an eyebrow crooked. “Tell him who did you invite.”

Castiel sighed and pinched his nose. It was obviously not the first time he and Anna argued about this that night.

“As you know, Claire recently helped me create a Facebook page for myself…”

“Oh, yeah, right, that!” Gabriel snapped his fingers. “Sorry I haven’t accepted your request, I’ll get on that…”

“… and I… reconnected with someone from my past,” Castiel kept saying, ignoring Gabriel’s quip. “From _our_ past.”

Gabriel frowned.

“Who, Aunt Amara?” he asked. Castiel shook his head. “Luc’s ex-cellmate?”

“It’s Meg!” Anna exclaimed. “He invited _Meg_!”

She didn’t need to clarify which Meg. There was only one important enough to merit that reaction from them.

Gabriel felt something cold and very uncomfortable in the pit of his stomach, like if his intestines had just turned into snakes. Oh, shit. _Oh, shit_.

This meant that he had to revisit a lot of things he’d said so many years ago. It was like being asked to perform a part he’d played once, but couldn’t quite remember anymore.

The horror in his voice when he spoke again was genuine, though:

“What?”

Castiel looked sheepish.

“She asked to have brunch with me, I mentioned the party. It would have been rude not to invite her.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, of course. Perfectly reasonable explanation,” Gabriel replied. “One question though.” He grabbed Castiel’s face to force him to look at him in the eye. “Why _the hell_ were you having brunch with my ex?”

Castiel’s blue eyes glimmered with sudden fury and Gabriel let go. Perhaps he’d gone a little far, but come on! What reason could Castiel possibly have to…?

“She was friend before she ever dated you.”

… yeah, okay, that was a pretty good reason. Gabriel knew how much Castiel had always cared about Meg. Almost a little too much. And honestly, he didn’t need the additional guilt that thought caused him. Maybe that was the reason the next thing that left his mouth was kind of a dickish thing to say.

“Well, you want to chew what I already spat, be my guest. And I hope you choke on it.”

“Gabriel!” Anna exclaimed, scandalized.

“What? You expect me to be chill with this?” Gabriel asked. Maybe if he played the indignant ex a little bit longer, he could have a good excuse to storm out now before he even had to see Meg. “Because I am not and I won’t be!”

Castiel clenched his jaw, and that was when Gabriel should have known what was coming.

“Fine. If you want to leave, go ahead.”

Gabriel would have almost been relief to hear him say that, if it wasn’t because of he was sure that there was no way it’d be that easy.

“Guys, come on,” Anna said, stepping in between the two and putting her hands up as if she thought Cas and Gabriel were about to start fighting.

Which maybe would have made Gabriel’s anger seem more genuine, but he knew where his limits were. His dorky little brother didn’t look like much, but he went running every day. The last time Gabriel had gone to the gym had been a year ago and he’d spent most of that time hitting on his trainer.

“This isn’t about you, Gabriel,” Castiel said, calmly, but Gabriel noticed that his fists were tightly clenched now. “This is about me reconnecting with my old friend.”

“Couldn’t you have found an old friend to reconnect with that wasn’t a homophobic bitch?” Gabriel asked.

He resisted the impulse to cringe at his own words. But he’d taken this too far to back down now.

Castiel had the decency to look embarrassed, which was how Gabriel knew his brother was a better person than him.

“It’s been ten years,” he said. “Meg has changed. So… so many things have changed.”

“Are you sure about that? Have you asked what her position on gay marriage is now? Or is that just what you want to believe?”

He was perhaps taking this bluff a little bit too far away, but Gabriel could count on two things: that his brother was polite enough never to bring up an awkward conversation topic even when it was staring at him in the face, and that Meg hated him so much that she would never even pronounce his name.

At least in the first instance, he seemed to be right, because Castiel crossed his arms over his chest, defensively.

“We haven’t exactly…”

“Well, there you go!” Gabriel exclaimed, raising his hands.

“Gabe…” Anna sighed and pinched her nose. “Look, if you don’t want to talk to her, I can’t say I blame you. But could you at least not make a scene? Stay for a while, act like an adult, have some beers and then, if you want to leave, I’ll drive you home myself.”

That wasn’t exactly what Gabriel wanted to do, but it aligned well enough with his interest that he figured it was about time to stop pushing it.

“Fine,” he said, still pretending to be irritated.

Because the truth was that he wasn’t angry. Not even a little bit.

He was terrified. Goddammit, why did Claire have to go and make Castiel a stupid Facebook page?

“Fine,” Castiel said, glaring at Gabriel. “We’ll all be adults about this.”

“Yes, great. Adults,” Anna repeated. “Now, let’s go out there. There’s some guests you haven’t greeted yet.”

“Really, Anna? I don’t want to…”

“You’re the host, you need to greet them!” Anna insisted, grabbing Castiel by the arm. He glanced at Gabriel, who shrugged. Helping him even a little would have been out of character for the part he was playing.

Still, this gave him the perfect excuse to slip away unnoticed. Not right now, because Anna would notice and that would cause him enough trouble as it was. But if he played his part correctly…

He stepped outside of the kitchen, looking around to see if he could find a bottle of beer, when someone grabbed him by the arm for the second time in in fifteen minutes and pulled him outside of the apartment.

“Hey, what the…?” Gabriel started protesting, but then his eyes met those of the taller man in front of him.

Sam was looking down at him, his hazel eyes wide and scared. Gabriel’s air escaped from his lungs. Shit, he was just as handsome as he’d been the night before, if not more now that he was wearing a nice shirt and a good pair of jeans.

It took a few seconds for his mind to get up from the gutter and realize what was wrong with that picture. Before he could say anything, though, Sam verbalized his thoughts for him:

“What the hell are you doing here?”


	7. Chapter 7

The good thing about using a wheelchair, Meg realized, was that no one expected her to stand around and make small talk. And also, they were all uncomfortable enough around her that not many tried to start a conversation with her to begin with.

That was fine by her. After the initial astonishment in Dean and Anna’s faces had worn off, there wasn’t much entertainment in people looking at her like she had three legs instead of a wheelchair.

“How… how you’ve…? I mean… what…” Anna had mumbled, obviously not daring to ask point blank what was wrong with her.

That was fine by Meg. She’d allowed Castiel to do it because… well, because Castiel had always been an exception for many things in Meg’s book.

“Fine, how are you?” Meg had replied with a smile, and just pushed her wheelchair forwards past hers. “Hey, Dean-o!”

Dean had turned to face her and his jaw had practically become unhinged.

“M-Meg?” he’d called out.

“Long time,” Meg had said, smiling widely as if there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary in this situation.

The only one who took it in stride was the other guy who was standing inside of Castiel’s apartment with Dean. He had to be one of the tallest men Meg had ever seen. Well, everyone seemed tall to her those days, but this guy was even taller than Dean and Castiel, who were giants even before she could spend more than five minutes in vertical position. And he also had a charming smile, which she’d noticed when he’d extended his hands towards her.

“I don’t believe we’ve met. Hi, I’m Sam.”

“Sam?” Meg had repeated. It’d taken her a second to realize why that name rang a bell. “Right, you’re the little brother who got a full ride to Stanford. Dean was always bragging about you back in the day.”

“Yeah.” Sam had laughed and scratched the back of his head, as if remembering his youthful accomplishments embarrassed him. “So you’re friends with Dean?”

“Oh, we go way back,” Meg had said, making sure that Dean saw her grin. He’d managed to close his mouth, but his eyes were still wide in an expression that Meg couldn’t tell if it was terror or simply surprise.

“Meg’s an old friend of mine,” Castiel had explained, and he’d left it at that.

Sam was a bit of a blessing, though, because it was obvious that Anna and Dean didn’t know how to react to her. So he’d kept talking to her, bringing her a glass of water when Meg had asked him to, and generally just hanged around her while Anna, Dean and Castiel finished putting everything in order and as the other guests of the party started arriving.

Meg quickly realized that other than Castiel and his family, she literally knew no one there. How could a group of people change so much in…? Well, it had been a decade. But still, she had a reason to get away from their old group of acquaintances, namely, the possibility of running into Gabriel. What was Cas excuse?

Once again, Sam was her savior, if only because they seemed to be in the exact same situation of not really knowing anybody there. He brought some pizza rolls over to the coffee table and sat on the couch next to where Meg had parked her chair to make idle chat with her for a while.

“I don’t know. I’m thinking of maybe moving back here from California.”

“Are you crazy? Why the hell would you do that? If I could choose between here—” Meg pointed at the sky they could see through the window, where there were stormy clouds gathering up. “—and a place when there’s literally always sun, I’d be rolling down the Santa Monica Pier every day of my life.”

Sam smiled, but he stared down at his bottle of beer like he was looking for some sort of answer inside it.

“I just need to get away for a while. Come back home, get in touch with myself.”

He was running from something. He didn’t say it out loud, but he really didn’t need to.

“Bad breakup or job issues?”

Sam lifted his head, suddenly. Meg kept staring at him, refusing to let him know exactly how she’d figured it was one of the two.

“Bad breakup,” he admitted in the end.

Meg nodded. She knew exactly what it was like needing to get the hell away from a place that reminded them of a person that they still wanted but couldn’t be with anymore. She could empathize.

“You want some advice?” she asked. “Running is futile. Your heart will still be broken here or in California.”

“True. But at least here I can hang out with my brother when I’m feeling down.”

Meg couldn’t for the life of her figure out why someone would voluntarily spend time with Dean Winchester, but she guessed it was just one of those tastes she’d never acquired. Castiel had liked him back in their day, enough to introduce him to his sister at least.

Then again he’d also introduced Meg to Gabriel, so maybe that wasn’t the best indicator of Castiel’s ability as a matchmaker.

“Well, whatever you do,” Meg said, raising her bottle. “I hope you find inner peace, Sam Winchester.”

“Thanks.” Sam clinked his drink against hers. “Right back at you.”

He’d only finished saying that when his face went slightly pale, staring directly at the other end of the room. It was like he’d seen a ghost.

“What?” Meg asked, following his gaze. She saw no one in particular that would warrant that reaction. Gabriel hadn’t arrived yet and knowing him, there was a distinct possibility that he wasn’t showing up at all.

“Nothing. I thought I saw…” Sam began, but he went quiet and closed his mouth. “Umh… you want another drink?”

“I’m still not done with this one,” Meg said, shaking her bottle. She needed to be careful with how much she drank, because then she would have to go through the mortifying ordeal of asking someone to help her to the bathroom.

“Okay… I’m just… I’m gonna go get another for myself, then.”

“Sure. I’ll just sit here.”

He didn’t laugh at her hilarious joke, which was a disappointment. She would’ve thought at least Sam would get her sense of humor, but no.

She took another swig of her bottle and started regretting coming there after all. She had thought it would be a good time to hang out with Castiel some more, which had been the entire objective of the day, and he had come to talk to her and ask her if she needed anything now and then. But Anna kept dragging him away to greet other people as they were arriving so this hadn’t been exactly fun for Meg.

It was almost as if his sister wanted to keep him away from her for as long as it was possible. No, that was just Meg being paranoid. Anna had always been a stuck-up and a control freak (which made it even more surprising that she was still dating Dean Winchester, sloppy king of drinking too much and eating too many cheeseburgers), but Meg didn’t think she was that petty.

Was she?

Well, Sam had been gone for five minutes already and she was out of beer. She had to assume he wasn’t coming back, so she pushed her chair to move it away from the corner where she’d been hiding to get herself another one.

“Excuse me. Coming through. Excuse me…”

This was her least favorite part of any gathering she went to lately. Some people got out of the way fast, while others stopped and looked at her like they’d never in their lives had seen a wheelchair. Meg usually asked those kind of people a sharp “What?” to let them know they were rude, but she didn’t want to cause a scene in Castiel’s birthday.

She finally got close enough to the snack table to get her hands on some more pizza rolls and moved to the bottles of beer that were neatly lined on the side.

There were two kids there. Well, she supposed “young adult” was the actual correct term, but they definitely looked like they were way too young to be drinking. The apprehensive look that the blonde girl threw to each side of the room while she picked some of the bottles and the way the brunette boy fidgeted with his fingers gave them away.

“Claire, I’m not sure…”

“Look, Alexis is going to pick us up in a couple of hours,” Claire replied. “We only have to hide them outside and grab them when we leave.”

“But what if someone sees us?”

“Someone’s already seeing you, kids,” Meg intervened. “You ain’t slick.”

Both of them startled when they looked at her. Claire quickly put the bottles back on the table.

“We weren’t… we didn’t mean to… so-sorry…” the boy began stuttering.

Meg stared up and down at him. He was pale and had bright blue eyes, and if the girl was Claire, then he had to be…

“Jack?”

Jack stopped mid-sentence and opened his eyes wide.

“How do you…? I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“Of course you know me,” Meg said. She didn’t know why seeing the twins put a smile on her face, but it did. “But I haven’t seen you since you two were like… yay high.” She extended her hand to show a height near her shoulder.

“Oh.” Jack scratched his neck and turned to Claire, who shrugged, clearly as lost as him. “I’m sorry, I don’t… I don’t remember you.”

“Me neither,” Claire admitted, shaking her head. “Umh… but, uh… could you not tell our aunt about what you heard?”

Meg looked over her shoulder. Anna was on the other side of the living room, talking to a couple of people and clasping Castiel’s arm as if she feared that he was going to try and run away from her.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” she promised them. “What exactly are you stealing the beer for?”

“We’re not!” Jack said, panicky.

“Jack. She heard us.” Claire sighed. “Look, in like… two hours, we’re supposed to go to this… study session with a friend…”

“You mean, a party more interesting than this one.”

“Right. And there’s gonna be someone there…”

“Someone you want to impress by being the ones who show up with the booze.” Meg nodded, understanding. “Who is this someone?”

“Her name’s Kaia,” Jack said.

“And you like Kaia?”

Jack tilted his head in a way that was oddly reminiscent of Castiel’s.

“I mean, yeah, she’s my friend. But Claire’s the one who wants to date her.”

“She’s like, super cute,” Claire explained. “But also super shy, so I was hoping…”

“… to have social lubricant on hand to get to talking,” Meg said. “Maybe even to get smooching.”

They both stared at her, wordlessly, and Meg grinned at them.

“I was young and imprudent once, too. You won’t be driving after the party, will you?”

“Patience’s our designated driver,” Claire said. “She’s a nerd, she never drinks anything.”

“You have it all figured out, huh? I guess all I have to do now is to sternly remind you that you are too young to be drinking.”

Jack lowered his eyes, ashamed, but Claire just kept looking at her with her raccoon-like eyes. She must have applied layers upon layers of eyeliner to get that effect.

“Right.” Meg picked up a beer for herself and opened it with her keychain. “Well, I’m going to be heading back to the other side of the room now. It always causes a commotion when I move in this old thing.” She patted her chair. “So if anyone wanted to sneak to, say, hide beer bottles outside of the apartment, that would be a perfect opportunity for them to do that. But I know you’re very responsible kids who wouldn’t do something like that.”

“No,” Jack said.

“Of course not,” Claire repeated, though she sounded a lot less sincere.

Meg was sure that Anna would be scandalized if she knew what had just transpired with her nephews. Which was Meg laughed to herself while she approached the group where Castiel was.

“Hello,” she greeted them, and they all jumped as if she was an apparition that had come to disturb them.

All except for Castiel, who suddenly looked very relieved.

“Meg,” he said, smiling. “How are you doing? Are you having fun?”

“Oh, you know I always bring the fun with me,” Meg said, taking a swig of her beer.

“Ah, my kind of woman,” a man with greyish hair said. The dark-skinned woman besides him chuckled.

“Meg, this is Billie,” Castiel introduced her.

“Nice to meet you,” Billie said.

“And this is Balthazar.”

“Enchanté,” Balthazar, the grey-haired guy, said while giving her a quick kiss on the knuckles instead of shaking her hand when she offered it to him. He then stood straight and narrowed his eyes. “Meg,” he repeated. “You wouldn’t happen to be the Meg who…?”

“I’m gonna go check if the sausage rolls are ready!” Anna exclaimed, suddenly, and a little louder than she strictly needed to. “Cas, you want to come with me?”

“Umh… not really. We were having a very interesting conversation here, Anna,” Castiel said, frowning.

“But… the rolls…” Anna insisted, through gritted teeth.

“We have enough food and I trust that Dean knows what he’s doing,” Castiel said. “It’s okay.”

Anna glared at him, disarmed for a moment, but then she tried again:

“Well, I’m gonna go check anyway.”

“You do that. Thank you.”

Anna glanced at him one more time like she was trying to communicate something telepathically, but Castiel wasn’t paying attention to her. He had his eyes fixed on Meg.

“Are you sure you’re enjoying yourself?”

“Immensely,” Meg assured him, beaming as Anna walked away alone and defeated.

“Forgive me if I’m being a little too inquisitive, Cas,” Balthazar said. “But isn’t dear Anna acting a little bit too… strangely?”

“Yeah, I noticed that too,” Billie added. “Is everything okay with her?”

Oh, so Meg wasn’t the only one who thought Anna was being very weird just now. Good to know.

“She’s had a tense week at her job,” Castiel said, with a shrug. “Well, uh… Meg, we were talking about what we did during our gap years after college.”

“Ah.” Meg raised her eyebrows. “We have a story or two to tell about that, don’t we?”

Castiel laughed at her comment. And really, hearing that was the highlight of the entire night.


	8. Chapter 8

Anna marched into the kitchen, irritated. Dean knew she was irritated because she stepped on the tiles like they had insulted her mother. If she’d been a cartoon character, a vein would be popping in her forehead and there would be wisps of smoke rising from her head.

“Is everything alright, babe?” he asked her, while he checked inside the oven to make sure the sausage rolls weren’t burning up. “Does everyone have enough drinks?”

“Fine!” Anna said, leaning against the wall. “Everything’s fine!”

Her snappy tone indicated that everything was the opposite of fine. The oven clock dinged, so Dean put a finger in the air to indicate his girlfriend to hold that thought while he picked the mittens.

“What’s wrong?” he asked after he’d taken the trail out of the oven and placed it on the counter.

Anna massaged her temples like she was expecting a headache soon.

“Why… did he have to invite _her_?”

Dean didn’t need to ask who she meant.

“Well, I mean, it is his birthday,” he pointed out, walking closer to her. “I know you practically organized everything, put together the list of invitees, forced him to accept that it was happening… but if he wanted Meg here, that’s within his right.”

Anna stared daggers at him and Dean realized he’d said the wrong thing to her. It happened a lot to him lately.

“Come on, I know she was a bitch, but…”

“It’s more than that, Dean,” Anna interrupted him. “The things Gabriel told us she said about him… they were absolutely vile. I can’t understand how Castiel still can be friends with her.”

She had a point there. Then again…

“Castiel was never rational when it came to Meg.”

“What do you mean?” Anna asked, frowning.

“Come on,” Dean said, with a chuckle.

Anna kept staring at him, so the realization that she truly didn’t know what he was talking about dawned on him.

“Well… he was always…” He stopped for a second to search for the right words to say. “… fond of her?” he finished, unconvincingly.

“Well, yeah.” Anna huffed. “She was his best friend.”

“No, it was… it was more than that, Anna.”

“I have no idea what you’re saying.”

Dean stepped back and looked around, but it seemed like no one was coming to rescue him from that conversation. He immediately regretted bringing it up, but he had already opened that old can of worms. Then again, the can was so old that perhaps all of the worms had starved to death.

Hopefully.

“He was in love with her.”

Anna shot him a completely unreadable look… and then she burst intolaughter.

“Good one!” she said, punching him in the bicep. “Oh, my God, you almost got me there!”

“Yeah.” Dean tried to force out a laughter. “Yeah, what a… what a ridiculous idea…”

He wasn’t convincing enough. Anna’s smile evaporated.

“Wait, are you serious?” She shook her head, as if the idea was simply too far-fetched to accept it. “But she was dating Gabriel!”

“Yes. Which is why Cas never said anything, presumably.”

“No.” Anna raised a finger. “No, that… that can’t be right. I know my brother, he never… he always liked the sweet girls. Like Daphne, April…”

“April wasn’t that sweet.”

“I didn’t know that when I introduced them!” Anna said, crossing her arms defensively. Dean realized he was nearing dangerous territory, so he tried to make his tone as calm as possible.

“I’m not saying… I just meant that Cas never told you everything about Meg.”

Anna was frozen, looking at him like Dean had just started talking in a different language all of the sudden.

“How do you know?”

“He might have said some things to me, one time, when we had a one too many beers.”

That had been many years ago, but he still remembered because Castiel had an extremely good head for alcohol. Getting him drunk was hard enough, getting him drunk to the point he’d got sad and started spilling his guts had been a once in a lifetime occurrence. And what he’d confessed…

“I mean, he didn’t outright say _‘I am in love with Meg Masters’_, but… the implication was there.”

“No.” Anna shook her head. “No, you must have misunderstood!”

Dean didn’t know why this talk about her brothers’ love lives was affecting her so much. No, wait, he did know. It was because Anna didn’t like seeing people she cared about suffering. It was one of her most endearing qualities, one of the many that had made Dean fall in love with her.

But sadly, that sometimes translated into a need to control everything (like, right now) and making her feel like she needed to “run interference” to keep things from going off the rails. Dean had felt like that many times, and he had learned the hard way that things tended to go off the rails even more when he intervened.

That’s why he felt required to protest when Anna came up with her next brilliant plan:

“I have to keep them away. I mean, I have been trying to do that anyway, but now I really have to…”

“Woah, I’m not sure that’s a great idea.”

“You heard Gabriel!” Anna pointed out. “And you’ve just told me Castiel isn’t rational when it comes to her. If they get together, she’ll make Cas miserable.”

“Look, I’m not saying you’re wrong, because I definitely agree Meg is an absolute asshole,” Dean started, hesitantly. “But maybe you should let Castiel make that mistake himself?”

“We can’t have another April situation, Dean! It destroyed him! He hasn’t dated anybody in five years because of her.”

Dean opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, trying to come up with an argument. He couldn’t. Castiel’s break-up with April had been disastrous; probably only topped by Meg and Gabriel’s. But then again, he didn’t think it had been that what had stopped Castiel from trying to date again. Her was a nerdy little dude who was painfully introverted and he didn’t seem bothered by his singlehood.

None of that would convince Anna, though. She was on a crusade.

“I’m just trying to protect my brothers,” she said. “And I need you to help with that.”

Dean sighed. This was going to be a long, long night.

“Fine,” he said, picking up the platter of sausage rolls. “I’m already manning the kitchen, what’s one more job?”

He didn’t mean for it come out as bitter as it did. He didn’t mean for it come bitter at all, but for some reason, that was the way Anna interpreted it.

“Why do you say it like that?” she asked, frowning.

Her tone of voice immediately got Dean tense.

“No reason,” he said, trying to deflect the situation. He held the platter in front of Anna for her to take. “You should take these, they’re going to get cold.”

Anna glared at him, but the excuse worked. She took the platter and quickly exited the kitchen.

Dean sighed with relief and started cutting down the sandwiches. Maybe he could find a way to keep Anna calm or to let Castiel know what was going on. Because Cas was a damned adult, perfectly capable of making his own bad decisions.

After his mother had died, his dad had fallen in downward spiral of grief he’d never quite recovered from, so Dean had felt compelled to take care of both him and Sam. It had been way too much responsibility for a kid and it had resulted in him being annoyingly overprotective of Sam. Which is why Sam had ended up going to college half a country away from him. It had taken Dean a long time to learn to let go of certain things.

So he completely understood where Anna was coming from. She was the youngest of the Milton siblings, but she was also the only woman and the only one who had her life more or less together. Luc, the oldest, was in jail and was a deadbeat dad, Gabriel was a bit of dick who’d always had unrealistic expectations for his own career and Cas… Cas was special. He simply was. He wasn’t going to just be convinced that Meg wasn’t the right person for him, especially if he’d been carrying a torch for her all those years.

Dean was looking for a way to explain all of that to Anna when she stormed back into the kitchen without the sausage rolls platter.

“Listen, if you don’t want to help me out, you don’t have to,” she spat. She obviously was still furious at that. “But don’t treat me like I’m crazy from wanting to protect my brother.”

“I didn’t do that!” Dean protested. Had he? Well, if he had, it hadn’t been intentional, so that had to count for something.

“Everyone keeps thinking that I do too much!” Anna continued, sounding increasingly frustrating. “Like that’s a problem! Isn’t giving your all to something supposed to be a good thing?”

“Oh, so… this is actually about the promotion,” Dean realized. He should’ve seen that coming, to be honest.

But just because he was right, it didn’t mean that was what Anna wanted to hear. Her cheeks went almost as deep red as her hair.

“It’s not about the promotion!”

“Really? Because it kind of sounds like it is about that…”

“Oh, so you’re an expert now in what I’m thinking?”

Dean was tempted to say he was. They had been together for seven years now; they knew each other well enough not to kid themselves about bullshit like that. But he also knew Anna well enough to know that had been a rhetorical question and that answering it would only make things worse for himself.

“Anna, look, I know you’re frustrated about that…”

“Of course I’m frustrated, but this isn’t about the stupid promotion!”

“You can’t control what other people do with their lives,” Dean pointed out, in what he thought was a very rational, calm tone. “You can’t control Merv and you definitely can’t control Cas. So maybe you should just… not try to do that.”

Anna crossed her arms and stared at him, her mouth slightly open in a gesture of disbelief. She scoffed and looked away, as if she couldn’t bear to even glance in Dean’s general direction.

“So you’re saying I’m a control freak?”

“Well, you can be, sometimes…”

He immediately regretted those words.

“Woah!” Anna exclaimed, her tone wry and furious. “That’s what you really think about me?”

“I’m just pointing out the obvious,” Dean said. He was trying not to lose his cool, but Anna was being very difficult about this entire situation. “You threw Cas a party he didn’t want, you got mad when he invited the one person he wanted here…”

“Your point being?” she interrupted him.

“You thought staying at your work late every day would guarantee you the promotion and you freaked out when it didn’t,” he continued. “Like, Sam ran out of the apartment in fear when he saw you come home so furious.”

Anna started pacing around, shaking her head over and over. She obviously didn’t like what Dean was telling her, but she needed to hear this. And hell, it was definitely not the best time and place to have this conversation, but Dean had been holding back for so long that he couldn’t anymore.

“You won’t even let me talk about the idea of us getting married because it’s never the right time for you,” he finally concluded. “When is it going to be the right time? When Merv dies and you get named editor-in-chief in his place?”

“I don’t know, Dean!” she shouted, throwing her hands in the air. “I don’t even know if there will ever be a right time for that!”

If she’d taken a step forwards and straight punched Dean in the gut, the effect would’ve have been greater. Dean stared at her. He was still breathing, but it felt like his lungs weren’t working, like his heart was sinking all the way down to his feet. The ground, that had been so solid and firm under his feet a second before, felt like it was shaking.

It took him a second to realize that was because his knees were ready to give out.

“What do you mean?” he asked. “That’s… that was the plan. That has always been the plan. We’ve talked about it: getting married, having children…”

“I know.” Anna cringed. It was as if she was the one feeling guilty now. “I know and… I do want that, Dean. But I love my career and I don’t want to give it all up because of…”

“Who said you had to give it up? I would never ask you to do that!”

“I know you wouldn’t!” Anna protested. “But you don’t know what it’s like. I stop working for nine months, hell, for six months to have a kid, and people will be salivating for my desk.”

“So you don’t want us to have kids? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I…” Anna put her hands on her head. If Dean had been a little less shocked and less furious about it, he would’ve felt terrible seeing her like that. “I don’t know anymore, Dean. I need time to think about it.”

“No.” Dean shook his head. It was like a bad dream. This was someone else’s life, someone else’s girlfriend telling him those things. He just couldn’t process the fact those words were coming from Anna’s mouth. “You can’t be serious.”

“Dean…”

Dean stepped away from the counter where the sandwiches had been abandoned halfway through. She walked past Anna, heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” she asked him, her voice slightly broken from tears she wasn’t shedding.

Dean stopped for a moment. He wanted to step back, hug her and assure her that everything was going to be alright, that they would figure this out together like they always did. He wanted to go back to five minutes ago, when their biggest problems were the sausage rolls and Castiel being in love with the wrong person. He wanted to storm out of this stupid party, climb in his car and drive away from everyone and everything, to an empty field somewhere where he could scream his lungs out.

But he couldn’t. They couldn’t.

“I just… I need some air,” he muttered, as he stepped out without looking back at her.


	9. Chapter 9

“My thoughts exactly!” Gabriel exclaimed. “What are you doing at my brother’s birthday party?”

“You’re… you’re Castiel’s brother?” Sam asked, blinking in complete disbelief. “You’re Anna’s brother?”

“I mean, yeah. Either I am or our dad has some explaining to do.”

The joke didn’t cut through the tension like Gabriel was hoping it would. Sam just rubbed his face, as if he couldn’t quite believe this was happening to him.

“I… I’m Dean’s brother.”

“Oh,” Gabriel muttered. That would make him practically Anna’s brother-in-law. Now that he thought about it, Dean had mentioned that his brother was called Sam, but how the hell was he supposed to know that Sam and his Sam were one and the same? “Oh, shit. Small world, huh?”

“Yeah. I would say,” Sam muttered. He seemed mortified: his face was red and he started walking up and down the hallway like a tiger in a too tight enclosure. “Listen, I don’t want to… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Even in those circumstances, he managed to be so _nice_. Gabriel would’ve been freaking out a lot more about finding a guy he’d done some pretty depraved things to the previous night if that guy didn’t happen to be Sam. It was impossible to imagine what his niceness hid and Gabriel felt privileged from having even glimpsed at it.

And besides… this could really play in his favor. Meg was in there, and maybe if he stunned her into silence, there would be no need for a confrontation. Yes, if he managed to make the situation awkward enough, perhaps he could avoid even further awkwardness.

“Well… maybe it’s destiny,” he suggested.

“What do you mean?” Sam frowned.

“I have just been reliably informed that my bitch ex-girlfriend is at this party.” Gabriel took a step closer to Sam. “So maybe if you help me, I’ll find a way to make it up to you later…”

Sam stared blankly at him.

“Ex-girlfriend,” he repeated, in a flat tone of voice.

“Yeah, well… it’s a long story,” Gabriel said, scratching the back of his head. “The abridged version is, I was young and confused and she didn’t take it well when I came out.”

That was, of course, the version he’d told everyone and the one he was going to keep on telling.

“And you want me to help you… how?” Sam asked, even more confused.

“Well, I don’t want to see her again after all of these years and seem like a loser,” Gabriel explained. “But… maybe if I have a little eye candy hanging from my arm…”

Sam huffed and shook his head.

“You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?”

“Just for an hour or two and then I’ll make up an excuse to get out of here while you stay. If you want to stay, ‘cause honestly, this party seems kind of lame,” Gabriel said, speaking quickly. Sam was still looking at him with his lips parted in confusion, so Gabriel took yet another step towards him. “Please? You like helping people, don’t you, Sam? Well, I am a poor desperate soul begging for your help…”

For a man that tall, it was incredibly how small and scared Sam seemed all of the sudden.

“I’m sorry, I… I can’t,” he stuttered.

“Why not? I promise, it won’t be that bad…”

“I’m not out to my brother,” Sam explained. “I don’t want this to be how he finds out.”

It was Gabriel’s turn to be completely confused.

“What? I mean…” He raised a hand to stop Sam from speaking. “The way Dean talks about you made me think you were the best of friends, super close, like… uncomfortably so. And you’re keeping this from him?”

“I’m not keeping it from him!” Sam exclaimed, defensively. “I just… haven’t found the right time to tell him about it, that’s all.”

Gabriel had a slow, terrifying realization right then. Sam was him, ages ago, when he had come to the conclusion that had turned his life and his relationships with everyone he cared about upside down. Even before he’d done as much as kiss another guy, let alone…

“Please, tell me, I’m not the first guy you’ve slept with.”

“What? No!” Sam looked at him as if Gabriel had just inquired about his cholesterol levels or something as equally out of left field. “I’ve… been with a couple of other guys before.”

Gabriel didn’t even try to hide the sigh of relief that followed that declaration.

“Why, you thought I was going to get hang up on you for some reason?” Sam asked.

The way he said it was slightly insulting to Gabriel.

“Okay, what’s with you?” he shot back, because he was really getting fed up with Sam’s attitude now. “Do you think you’re somehow morally superior to me because you ‘don’t do one night stands’?” He drew air quotes as he pronounced those words. “Do you think I’m a slut because I sleep around?”

“No, that’s not…”

“Because, sweetheart, you were sleeping with a guy you’d just met not twenty-four hours ago,” Gabriel pointed out. “So what does that make you?”

Sam looked down at him. It wasn’t hard for him. And Gabriel wished with all his might that he wouldn’t get paralyzed like this under his gaze, because holy shit, he couldn’t even remember why he was angry with Sam just a second ago.

“Are you always like this?” Sam asked. His voice had dropped to a whisper and Gabriel realized, with a startle, that they were now face to face again, mere inches away from each other.

“Like… this?” Gabriel repeated, because his brain had turned into a mushy mess where he could barely articulate a coherent thought.

It wasn’t just that Sam was hot as hell, he realized. There was this intensity about him, like he’d been through some shit that had aged him far beyond his years, like behind his calm demeanor laid dormant a fire, a passion that Gabriel had barely suspected the night before, when he was in his arms…

And his mind was on the gutter again. Well, he couldn’t be blamed, with Sam standing so close he could practically feel the heat radiating from his body.

“You act like nothing touches you,” Sam said. “Like nothing ever gets to you, but… just now you seemed really angry that I might think less of you because you don’t form attachments.”

“I wasn’t angry,” Gabriel said, defensively, which was probably not the best tone to use for his argument. “I was… just saying. What was your reason to come home with me last night if you don’t like one night stands?”

And then Sam did something that disarmed Gabriel completely: he put his hand on his cheek and gently guided Gabriel’s face up so he couldn’t escape his gaze. The same burning gaze as the night before…

“Well,” Sam whispered, “maybe I am a little hung up on you.”

Gabriel was either going to answer with a quip or to kiss him or go down on his knees right there and then. Maybe he’d just manage to do all three at the same time, or maybe he was going to stay paralyzed like that forever. He wouldn’t have minded, as long as Sam stayed right there too.

But then Sam moved closer and Gabriel’s eyes started to flutter close and…

The door opened and they both jumped.

“Uncle Gabriel?” Jack asked, surprised. Claire was standing right behind him.

“Children!” Gabriel replied. God, was his face getting red? He hoped that his face wasn’t getting red. “What are you… what are you doing?”

“Nothing!” Claire said, a little too fast. Gabriel noticed she was holding her jacket closed a little too close to her chest and that Jack was hiding something behind his back.

Were they doing something they shouldn’t…? Well, it didn’t matter. He was the cool uncle. His entire job consisted on turning a blind eye to Jack and Claire’s shenanigans. And besides… he was still too shaken by the moment he’d just shared with Sam.

“Uh-huh,” he muttered. “Well, how about we agree we didn’t see each other just now?”

“Cool idea.”

“But…” Jack started protesting, but Claire elbowed him softly on the ribs.

Gabriel walked past them. He didn’t have to look back to know that Sam was following him closely. Gabriel grabbed a beer from the snack table and drank at least half of it before he felt ready to turn and confront Sam again.

“Look, I would not be opposed to going somewhere with you right now,” he told him. “But you have to promise me that it’s not going to get… weird.”

“You mean weirder than knowing our siblings are dating?” Sam asked, with a crooked eyebrow.

Well, he had a point there.

“I still can’t believe Dean never mentioned you were this absolute sexy beast.”

Sam grimaced as if Gabriel had just said something inappropriate.

“Would you make that comment about any of your brothers?”

“Not unless I was trying to hook them up with someone,” Gabriel admitted. “Which I guess Dean-o can’t really do for you.”

“He has hooked me up with girls in the past. Which, to be fair, he doesn’t know it’s only half of my dating pool.”

“Yeah… why are we talking about Dean again?” Gabriel asked, after taking another swig of his beer.

“Because… that is what people do?” Sam replied, frowning. “They have conversations about things?”

“Not people that are planning on fucking each other brain’s out and never seeing each other again.”

Sam chuckled. “You’re really committed to that, huh?”

“Committed to what?” Gabriel asked, eyeing him sideways.

“Keeping me at arm’s length.”

It wasn’t like he was wrong. What annoyed Gabriel was that he could read him so fucking easily. Like, what did he know?

He finished his beer and left the empty bottle back on the table.

“Okay, real talk,” he said, lowering his voice. “I am probably not what you’re picturing in your head thanks to your school boy crush. I am definitely not good for you. Like, sure, we can have fun together, but if I keep you at arm’s length, it’s because that’s what best for you.”

He wasn’t expecting Sam’s reaction: he threw his head back and laughed as if that had been one of Gabriel’s joke.

“I know that’s literally my job, but did I say something funny?” Gabriel asked, tilting his head.

“Not ten minutes ago, you were asking me to be your boyfriend.”

“Pretend boyfriend!” Gabriel corrected, but Sam just laughed some more. And goddammit, even his laughter was adorable. What was Gabriel supposed to do with that boy?

Well, he had an idea or two… no. Not the time.

“Right, right, to humiliate your bitch ex-girlfriend. Where is she, anyway?”

Gabriel eyed the crowd in Castiel’s apartment. There were at least twenty people there, which was surprising, because he didn’t think Castiel even had twenty friends. They were all talking or sitting in groups of three or four, drinking and laughing calmly. No one was putting way too loud music to dance to, no one was doing a kegstand or pushing a couch through the window. This had to be Anna’s definition of a party, everyone enjoying adult conversation and measured drinking.

Gabriel hated it. The only reason he wasn’t running outside screaming as if his head was on fire because of the boredom was because Sam was still interested in talking to him for reasons that he couldn’t fathom.

“Not sure,” he admitted. “Maybe I just don’t recognize her. It’s been like a decade.”

“Well, what does she look like?”

“Like, yay high.” Gabriel raised his hand a little over his head. Even when he was in his ‘_I’m not gay, I’m into people’_ stage and forcing himself to date women, he tended to go for ones that towered over him, especially with high heels. Of which Meg owned a ton. “Brown eyes, dark hair… why are you asking all of this?” Gabriel realized all of the sudden. “Are you into my plan now?”

“Not really, no,” Sam admitted. “I just want to see how far you’re willing to take this.”

“And why, exactly?”

Sam looked around at the chattering groups and a visible shiver went down his spine.

“I don’t know anyone here and, honestly, it seems kind of boring. Dean didn’t use to be this vanilla, I swear.”

Gabriel was tempted to tell him that him saying shit like that was exactly the reason that Gabriel needed to keep him at arm’s length. If he didn’t watch himself, he was going to end up head over heels for Sam and nobody wanted that.

“Well, let’s see,” Gabriel said. “I can’t see the living room from here, so maybe…”

The kitchen door burst open and Dean stormed out of it. He looked around blinking, like he’d just emerged into the light from a very dark place. There was a weird expression on his face that was equal parts anguished and confused. He leaned on the wall for three complete seconds, like he was dizzy, then he opened the door and exited the apartment with a brisk walk.

“What’s his deal?” Gabriel asked, surprised.

“I… I don’t know.” Sam put down his beer. “I better go after him.”

“Yeah… okay,” was the only thing Gabriel had time to say before Sam was striding towards the door after his brother.

He stayed where he was, with turmoil of feelings inside his chest and his gut. On one hand, he hated that Sam had left him all alone among that “vanilla” people (he needed to remember that, there was definitely a great joke there). On the other, the more time he spent with Sam, the likelier it was that he was going to do or say something they would both completely come to regret.

Well, there was no one watching him now or trying to talk to him. He should leave now and save himself the embarrassment of either running into Meg or people finding out about him and Sam. He liked none of those scenarios.

He was just heading for the door, walking right past the kitchen, when he heard it.

A strangled sob, the kind someone made when they were trying to cry without anyone hearing them. It suddenly dawned on him that he hadn’t seen Anna in a while and that the only reason Dean would be so upset was because something had happened with her. She probably wasn’t dead, because then Dean would be screaming for help, not running away. Unless he’d killed her.

But judging by the crying coming from the kitchen, Anna was still very much alive. And sad. And, oh, shit, what did Gabriel have to do? He was not equipped to handle these situations. As far as big brothers went, he wasn’t the worst just because he’d managed to stay out of jail, unlike Luc. Still, perhaps he should make sure that Anna was okay before he went to look for Castiel and told him to come console her.

“Anna?” he called softly as he entered the kitchen.

She was curled up on the floor against the counter. Her make-up was smudged from how much she’d been crying and she didn’t seem in any rush from getting up from there.

“Shit,” Gabriel muttered. He looked around and grabbed the two things that seemed to be useful in that situation: some paper napkins and a half-empty bottle of beer. “What happened?” he asked, as he plopped down next to his sister.

“Nothing… nothing.” Anna took in a couple of shaky breaths and accepted the napkins to blow her nose, noisily. “Dean and I, we just… we just had a stupid, stupid fight…”

“Okay. Uh… you need me to fight him?”

“No!”

“Thank God. He’d probably kick my ass.”

Anna didn’t even bother to force out a laughter, which proved exactly how Gabriel was the last person she should be talking to in a moment like that. Instead, she grabbed the beer bottle, put it against her lips and threw her head back to drink its entire contents without breathing.

“Are you… sure you should be doing that?” Gabriel asked, cringing.

“I can’t do this right now,” she said, shaking her head. She used the rest of the napkins to clean her face and took a deep breath. “I can’t fall apart. It’s Castiel’s birthday.”

“Um… sure, but… Anna…”

“You need to go out there,” she said. She stood up and Gabriel did the same. “You… do your thing. Do some stand-up or whatever and keep them entertained as I put myself together.”

“O… kay. Okay!” Gabriel protested when Anna grabbed him by the shoulders, turned him around and started pushing him towards the door. “Are you at least going to pay me for doing that?”

Anna rolled her eyes and pushed him out of the kitchen before closing the door behind her. Gabriel took it as a no.


	10. Chapter 10

“… and then Castiel had to show up to post bail for us.”

The people around them burst into laughter. Even Castiel, who had been a little somber just a moment before, couldn’t help but be taken in by Meg’s charisma and her way of telling a story he’d heard a million times before. The details of it had changed overtime (in Gabriel’s version of it, it had been Meg’s idea to steal the car) and at the time, he’d been scared when a police officer called him up in the early morning to tell him to pick them up.

But with time and with how much she’d missed Meg, he could almost see how it would be hilarious instead. They had crashed the car two seconds after breaking into it and no one had got hurt. Their Bonnie and Clyde stint had lasted all of five minutes.

Meg and Gabriel had a ton of stories like that. Castiel was usually a peripheral character in them, or the savior who showed up at the end sober enough to fix whatever mess they had caused during their drunken escapades.

This was before Meg had somehow managed to graduate with a RN license and before Gabriel’s stand-ups had started to gain some traction. They had been dating on and off again during that time, because neither of them had wanted to compromise while they were still young and able to get into all sort of troubles.

Castiel had envied their relationship then, but it’d made sense. Of course Meg would go for the adventurous, funny guy. And then, when they’d moved in together, Castiel had been sure that they’d left their wild days behind them and they were ready to settle with one another. If someone was going to help Gabriel finally settle down and start taking his life a little more seriously, that had to be Meg.

That had been all it all went down in flames.

Looking back now, sitting in his apartment with his friends and… acquaintances, with Meg’s chair parked right next to him on the couch, it all seemed too far away to actually hurt Castiel like it had them. And he felt incredibly blessed about it.

They had moved from the lobby, where all the food and drinks were, to his small living room where they could sit on the couches or the floor. Soon, Duma, Indra and Rachel, his editor, had joined them and now they were a merry group of people, all laughing and exchanging stories about their wild or not so wild youths. It was better than talking about work and it turned that, if prodded a little bit, everybody had a fun story to tell.

“Tell them about the swing and the sandbox!” Meg insisted. “Come on, tell them!”

“Oh, no,” Castiel said, rubbing his eyes, but he’d had a couple of beers and it wasn’t even the most embarrassing thing he’d done, so what the hell? Besides, everyone was egging him on with “Come on!” and “Tell us!”. “Umh… well, this was after I failed one of my classes, which I had studied very hard for.”

“As usual,” Meg said. “Nerd.”

People chuckled at that interjection, even him. It was easier to be the center of attention when he could tell himself they were actually paying attention to Meg instead of himself.

“Yes, well… that particular professor didn’t think I was doing my best, so she’d failed me. And I was very down in the dumps about it. So Meg, here, decided that she was going to cheer me up.”

“I mean, what else was I supposed to do for my best friend, right?”

“Right.” This time, when Castiel laughed, it came out a little more forced than he intended it to. But he kept on going with the story. “Anyway, Meg knew that drinking and dancing wasn’t my style back then.”

“What, and it is now?” Balthazar asked, making an extremely valid point.

“Now it’s even less so,” Castiel admitted. “So instead, she took me to a bar where they served craft beer and there was a poetry contest going on. The participants… weren’t good.”

“They were _terrible_,” Meg said, shaking her head as if the mere memory of it gave her second-hand embarrassment. “In my defense, I didn’t know there was a poetry contest going on. I just wanted to catch a buzz with fancy beer.”

“So, after a while, we had our fill of that,” Castiel said when the laughter around subsided a little. “And we decided to head out, have a midnight stroll, chat for a while. So we did that and in our way, we came across this small, empty playground. I don’t know why, but we thought it would be a great idea to stay there and fool around it for a while. We had a great time, actually.”

Castiel was fonder of that night than he cared to admit right them. When Meg had called him up to tell him that she was going to pick him up and “they were going to have fun whether he wanted it or not”, he’d thought that Gabriel had been included in those plans. It had been a great surprise when Meg showed up by herself and they had time to actually sit down and talk. Like before she started dating her brother. It had made him believe that her insistence that they were still best friends was true.

“And then we decided to try at our luck at the swings,” Castiel said.

“I went first!”

“She went first, and I pushed her for a little bit.”

He didn’t say what they’d talk about while they were doing that. Meg had told him a couple of things that were too personal to repeat. In retrospect, however, they should have foreshadowed how her relationship with Gabriel was going to end.

“I don’t know, Cas,” she’d sighed. “It’s like he doesn’t want me. We haven’t had sex in weeks. Hell, I never even see him anymore, because he has all these gigs that are ‘for the exposure’ at night and I have to keep going to classes and finish my practices because, well, someone’s going to have to start bringing in the dough if we’re actually going to move in together next year when I graduate.”

Castiel had had the impression it was easier for her to tell him all of this because her back was turned to him. He’d taken a few seconds to find the right thing to say.

“Of course he wants you.”

“Oh, yeah? How can you be so sure?”

Castiel had stopped pushing her then and sat on the other swing. They’d both been wearing thick jackets because it was the middle of January and Meg’s nose was adorably red because of the cold. Everything about her was adorable under the golden glow of the only streetlight close enough to the playground so they could see it wasn’t completely covered in darkness.

“Because,” he’d said, making an effort so his words wouldn’t get caught up in his throat as he spoke. “He’d be crazy not to want someone as… loyal and… smart and funny and… beautiful as you.”

He hadn’t intended to say that last part out loud, but it had just come out, escaped his lips as easily as a sigh, as the wisps coming from their mouths that winter night. For a second or two, Meg’s face had been indecipherable and Castiel had panicked. Had he said too much? Had he given away what he was feeling for her?

“And then it was his turn,” Meg said, yanking him back to the present.

“Ah, yes, my turn,” Castiel said and quickly forced himself to smile. “And what happened was, I was not sure I wanted to be pushed in the swing.”

“Come on, it’s going to be fun!” Meg had insisted, standing up behind him, her hands already on his back, ready to push.

“I… I don’t know, Meg. I am not good with heights and… speed.”

“It’s not like it’s a damn roller coaster. Sit down!”

Castiel had been weary, but he had accepted in the end. He would’ve accepted a lot of things if he thought they were going to make Meg happy.

“So I sat down on the swing.”

“And I pushed,” Meg said, grimacing. “And then I pushed a little too hard.”

He wasn’t sure exactly what had happened. His best guess was that he’d attempted to slow down the swing with his foot, but he’d miscalculated and instead, it’d somehow got caught in the nearby sandbox (Meg would later point out that this wouldn’t happen to the children, since their legs weren’t long enough to reach the sandbox from the swings). There had been a second of painful awareness when he’d realized that the swing was moving back again, but his body wasn’t following its movement and then…

“It was the most horrible sound!” Meg said, while the guests around them started laughing once again. “I swear, I thought he’d broken his skull!”

“The snow on the ground cushioned my fall,” Castiel said, smiling at the memory of how Meg had run up to him and held him up. “But my foot wasn’t designed to bend that way.”

“And here’s the kicker: our cellphones had no battery, there wasn’t a car coming in miles around and the nearest hospital was several blocks away,” Meg continued telling. “So I had to pick him up, put his arm around my shoulder and drag his ass all the way there. While it snowed again.”

“It’s the least you could do, after you incited me to get on the swing in the first place.”

“Excuse me? It wasn’t my fault gravity was working extra hours around you that day!”

Castiel had no choice but to throw his head back and laugh along with everybody else. He was sure the story wouldn’t be as funny if Meg hadn’t told it. He was about to point out that despite her denial now, she felt guilty back then, because she kept checking on him while he was healing, doing the groceries for him and making sure he always had his crutches nearby…

“Uncle Gabriel doesn’t tell the story like that,” someone said over the laughter.

Castiel hadn’t realized it, but Jack and Claire were standing around in the living room as well. Jack gave his mother a cup of what was probably water while Claire leaned against the wall and looked at Meg with a frown, as if she thought there was something fishy about the way they’d told the story.

“Oh?” Meg asked, crooking an eyebrow. “How does he tell it?”

“Well, in his stand-up, he says it was him who broke his foot,” Claire explained. “And that he was with an ex-girlfriend who turned out to be a bitch…”

“Claire!” Kelly exclaimed, suddenly alarmed. Claire looked at her mother, then at Meg and then at Castiel, realizing very slowly that the botch ex-girlfriend in the story was, in fact, Meg.

There was a sudden awkward silence in the living room. People were suddenly avoiding Meg’s eye or cringing. Castiel’s throat was dry. He didn’t know what to say. Claire and Jack were maybe seven or eight years old when Meg had broken up with them and of course, they wouldn’t know exactly the awkward history behind Meg’s presence there.

Meg, however, didn’t seem embarrassed at all, though there was a sharp edge to her smile as she spoke:

“Well, of course he would tell it differently. His job is to make stories funnier, after all.” She took a swig from the beer in her hand, calmly. “And of course his comedy includes a skit in which he calls me a bitch. You ever heard that thing about not dating writers? Stand-up comedians are even worse.”

“I… I think Rachel would have something to say about that,” Castiel said, turning the attention to his editor.

“Oh, my God, do I!” she exclaimed, with a huff. And she was kind enough to divert the attention away from Meg and Claire by starting to tell a story about the most dramatic writer that she’d known.

Meg waited a few seconds before putting down her beer and telling Castiel that she needed to move.

“Excuse me. Sorry,” she muttered.

She probably intended it to be a discreet exit, but having to maneuver with her wheelchair made that all but impossible. Some people were kind enough to look the other way or move out of her path quickly, but it still took longer than Meg had probably hoped.

Castiel went after her quickly, of course.

“Meg. Meg, I’m… I’m really sorry about that,” he muttered as soon as they were back in the dining room and away from anyone who might hear their conversation.

“It’s fine,” Meg said, turning her wheelchair in his direction. “I didn’t exactly expect Gabriel to be fair about what happened.”

Castiel opened his mouth to say something (he wasn’t sure what, exactly) but the kitchen door burst open and none other than Gabriel himself came stumbling out of it.

“And of course Claire doesn’t know the full context of things. So I can’t blame her for merely repeating the things she’s heard,” Meg continued.

“Umh…” Castiel said, awkwardly, while Gabriel looked down at her, then up at Castiel. A panicked expression started growing in his golden eyes.

“I guess what surprises me more if that Gabriel tells that story at all as if it happened to him,” Meg said, frowning. “Did you give him permission to do that?”

“I… I’m not sure that’s a… a thing that merits permission…” Castiel said.

Gabriel stepped back, then forwards again. He looked around as if he was looking for a quick exit, but other than him going back into the kitchen or outright running out of the apartment, there was really nowhere he could go.

“Doesn’t matter,” Meg concluded, shaking her head. “I’m just glad Gabriel never showed up after all.”

Gabriel finally turned as if to reach for the doorknob, but didn’t manage to reach it before Meg asked:

“So where’s your bathroom…?” and spun her wheelchair around.

Gabriel stopped on his tracks. His panicked expression became even more pronounced. Castiel couldn’t see Meg’s face, but the fact that she had become suddenly immobile indicated that he should have pointed out who exactly was behind her.

After a few seconds of tense silence, Gabriel swallowed loudly, straightened his back and started speaking as if nothing was wrong:

“Hey… you!” he said, with a strangled chuckle that sounded terribly forced. “You, uh… you changed your hair!”

Castiel hit his own forehead with an open palm.

“Yeah,” Meg muttered. She turned back to Castiel, her face completely blank. “So, the bathroom?”

Castiel pointed to the door on the right.

“Do you need help?” he offered, looking around for Anna or Kelly or anyone Meg would feel less embarrassed about helping her.

“I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

She moved forwards… and one of her wheels rolled right over Gabriel’s toes. He screamed and jumped backwards, holding his foot up and jumping on the other.

“Whoops, sorry!” Meg said, but there wasn’t a hit of remorse in her voice.

Castiel feared that her chair wouldn’t go through the door, but it did. Barely. She closed it with a thump in her wake.

“What the fuck?” Gabriel said, still rubbing his foot, as soon as she was out of earshot. “What the fuck, Cas? Why didn’t you tell me she was like… like that?”

“Like what?” Castiel asked, flatly. He was well-aware of what Gabriel was asking, but he wasn’t willing to make the ordeal any less uncomfortable for him.

“Like…”

Thunder boomed outside. A second later, the rattling of the rain beating against the window followed it. The storm that had been gathering all evening had finally arrived.

“Well, maybe I should…” he started.

He couldn’t go on. The light above his head rained sparkles down on him and then turned off, along with every other lightbulb in the apartment, plunging them into the most absolute darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! So, posting two chapters in a row because I haven't been around much. Hope you're still enjoying this!


	11. Chapter 11

Dean managed to make it all the way to the street before someone caught up with him.

“Dean!” Sam’s voice called him from behind. “Dean, wait up!”

Dean stopped on his tracks and breathed in the thin air of the night. The sky was covered in angry clouds and there was a wind way too cold for early June blowing. Freaking climate change…

“Dean!”

Well, there was no avoiding it, he guessed. He slowly turned towards his brother, who was bolting out of Castiel’s building to catch up with him.

“What happened?” Sam asked. “Are you okay?”

Dean looked up at the sky and did the last thing that he thought he was going to do in a situation like that: he burst into bitter laughter. Sam’s frown indicated that he thought Dean had lost it. And maybe that wasn’t that far from the truth.

“Fine!” Dean shouted over the howling wind. “I’m fine! The woman I love doesn’t want to marry me, but other than that, I’m peachy!”

“What?” Sam looked at him, confused. “Did you… did you propose to Anna?”

“No, I didn’t propose!” Dean huffed. Why did this have to be so hard? “But we were talking, and… well. She made it very clear she has no intentions to marry me, even if I do propose.”

Sam was incredulous, shaking his head and watching him with eyes wide open.

“That… that doesn’t make any sense. Are you sure that’s what she said?”

“What do you mean I’m sure? Yes, I’m sure!”

“Okay, okay!” Sam raised his hands as if he wanted to prevent Dean jumping at him.

Which, given just how furious Dean was right now, wasn’t an entirely unfair assumption to make. He could’ve punched something, anything. He could have jumped down the street or screamed until his lungs gave out.

He had to do something. Anything. He wasn’t sure anymore what that something was, as long as it made this pain deep inside his chest stop. It was like a dagger twisting over his heart every time he remembered Anna’s words.

“Dean.” Sam took a step towards him and cautiously put a hand on his arm. “Listen, I know you probably don’t feel like it right now, but you can’t just storm out like that.”

“Why the hell not?”

“It’s Cas’ birthday. You’re in charge of the food,” Sam said. It was the kind of practical, pragmatic reason that Anna would’ve given and Dean hated that he was right. “You can’t let your friend down like this. And you need to talk this out with Anna when you’re both alone and back home.”

That was not what Dean felt like doing. At all. And he wanted to tell Sam in no uncertain terms to go fuck himself, but at the same time… dammit, he was right. If he walked out now, Castiel was going to wonder what the hell happened to him and then he would have to explain about the fight. And he wasn’t ready to explain it to anybody. He wouldn’t even have explained it to Sam if he hadn’t come out after him.

Still, Dean crossed his arms over his chest and bit the inside of his cheek. He didn’t want to return right now. He needed a few more minutes to calm down. He was about to ask Sam to give him that time when…

The thunder came rolling, echoing over their heads with such force it resonated in the pit of their stomachs. Dean looked up just in time for a raindrop to fall just over his eye.

It was amazing how strongly the storm began. In the two minutes it took them to run back to the building’s entrance, they got their jackets and hairs wet.

“Well, I guess you can’t leave now,” Sam pointed out.

Dean glared at him.

“Nobody likes a smartass, little brother,” he muttered as he walked past him back to the lobby and headed for the elevator.

Sam was right. As much as he wanted to run away screaming, he simply couldn’t do that. He had to stay and pretend that everything was fine, even when it felt like it very much wasn’t.

Sam trotted behind him and got into the elevator just as the doors were closing.

“So, you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Dean sighed, as the elevators’ door closed and the damn thing began moving up. He sighed. “She fears that she’s going to have to put her career on hold if we get married and have children right away.”

“That… that doesn’t sound like she said she didn’t want to marry you.”

Dean opened his mouth to argue that…

The elevator jumped as if someone had kicked it from outside. The lights turned off and the Winchesters found themselves in the most absolute darkness.

“What the fuck…?”

A red light flashed on top of them. It made everything inside the small elevator box look eerie and surreal, but at least it was better than not being able to see their own hands.

“Power must have gone out,” Sam deduced.

“No shit, Sherlock!”

Dean reached inside his pocket and realized that he didn’t have his cellphone with him. He must have left it in the kitchen when he ran out of there so he didn’t have to keep seeing Anna’s face anymore.

Sam had his, at least. But then, there was another problem.

“I, uh… don’t have anyone’s number, except yours and Anna’s.”

“Great,” Dean said, not even bothering to hold back on his sarcasm. That morning he was going to his best friend’s party with his girlfriend and his brother and now he was trapped in an elevator desperate to ask for help. “Okay, well, call her and see if she wants to come to our rescue.”

“Dean, she’s not going to…” Sam started arguing, but he must have realized that Dean’s foul mood made him logic-proof. So instead, he tapped on his screen a couple of times and placed it against his ears. “It’s ringing.”

Dean leaned against the elevator’s wall with a sigh of exasperation.

“Yes, Anna, hi!” Sam said. “We, uh… we’re in a bit of pickle here in the elevator…”

While Sam explained the situation to her, Dean slowly slid down with his wall still against the wall. He should have grabbed his keys and ran away when he had the chance. How did he let Sam convince him to stay?

“Yeah. Yeah, okay, thank you. Alright. Yeah, we’ll wait.”

Sam put away his phone and grimaced.

“I don’t have a lot of battery left,” he explained. “But Anna says she’s going to help all the other guests get out of the building and then she’s going to call the electricity company and if not… well, the firefighters.”

Dean hummed. If anyone was able to keep her cool and organize an orderly evacuation of the building, that was definitely Anna.

“Do you think she can open the elevator door and slid us some food?” he asked. “I’m starving. I’ve been staring at those pizza and sausage rolls for hours and I couldn’t even get one in my mouth.”

“Yeah.” Sam sat down with his back on the wall opposite of him. “And I really should have gone to the bathroom before running after you.”

“Oh, no.” Dean cringed. “Tell me you didn’t eat anything. We have limited oxygen in here, Sam, and if you fart…”

“I just had a bit too many beers!”

“Right. Well, be a big boy and hold it in, will you?”

“Seriously, Dean?” Sam rolled his eyes and put on what Dean called “his bitch face”: he clenched his jaw and looked at Dean like he thought he was an idiot.

“Yeah. Because if you do anything, I will kill you and eat you,” Dean threatened. “You could last me a couple of weeks if I ration you right.”

“Oh, my God.” Sam lowered his eyes and his shoulders shook. Dean felt a pang of guilt in his gut.

“Hey, no, come on. You know I wouldn’t eat you.”

Sam threw his head back and Dean realized that he wasn’t crying. He was laughing as if this was the most amusing thing that had ever happened to him. Dean stared daggers into him.

“Come on! It’s not funny, Sam!”

That only managed to make Sam laugh even harder.

“You’re an idiot,” Dean accused him. “You’re a complete, and utter… dumbass…”

He couldn’t on, because he was choking on his own laughter. He saw no reason to hold it back, so he just let it out. He let it out because the situation was ridiculous, because everything was terrible and he needed to laugh instead of crying or screaming. He laughed because he really couldn’t do anything else.

“Oh, this sucks,” Dean muttered after a while, while wiping the tears that were streaming down his face. “This blows, man.”

“I guess,” Sam agreed, still hiccupping a couple of chuckles now and then. “But you know… if I have to be trapped in an elevator with someone, I’d rather it was you.”

“Don’t be so sure. I can and will eat you, Sammy.”

“No, you won’t,” Sam said, but he laughed some more at the joke. “Ah, man. I’m sorry about Anna.”

Dean cringed at the way he said it. It was almost as if him breaking up with her was already a given.

“Yeah, well… I’m sorry about Sarah,” he shot back, because he really didn’t want to talk about Anna right now. Sam’s smile faltered and he looked away. “What happened, though? You were just… you were so great together.”

“It seemed like that, I guess.”

It was hard to imagine what he meant, exactly. When he’d called to tell Dean about the break-up, Dean had been so stunned that instead of being a supportive brother, he’d just asked the same thing as he did right now: _‘What the hell happened?’_

And just like now, Sam had avoided the question. Dean supposed that what’d happened wasn’t as important as how shitty Sam had felt afterwards, which had prompted the invitation to Castiel’s birthday in the first place. He wanted Sam to get his head out of those troubles… and now they were trapped in an elevator talking about them. Because life was funny that way.

“We went to an art exhibit in one of her father’s galleries,” Sam told him in the end. “You know that kind of party.”

“Oh, yeah. Lots of millionaire douchebags drinking expensive champagne and deep-fried caviar or some shit.” Dean rolled his eyes.

Sam laughed, which was a sign that it had been bad, because usually he would’ve defended Sarah against the notion that she was some sort of snob.

“Well, there was this old lady disparaging mechanics,” Sam continued. “I don’t even know what her deal was, but she kept going on and on about how all mechanics were worth nothing and they were brutes and dishonest who overcharge her for fixing her car and whatnot.”

“Bitch!”

“Right?” Sam shook his head. “So I said, _‘Well, actually, my dad was a mechanic and so is my brother and they’re the most honest people I’ve ever known’_. Turns out the old lady was one of Sarah’s dad richest clients and Mr. Blake got mad at me because I ‘embarrassed her’.” He drew air quotes with his fingers.

“Well, she shouldn’t have been talking shit,” Dean pointed out.

“That’s what I told Sarah,” Sam replied, nodding in agreement. “But she was mad at me, and one thing lead to the other and we just… we fought all night. And it wasn’t the first time it’d happened.”

He made a pause, as if he was thinking hard about how to continue telling this.

“You know how mom used to say to never go to bed mad? Well, we just couldn’t stop being mad at each other. Suddenly it was four thirty in the morning, I was exhausted, she was exhausted, but we were still sitting in the living room, snapping at each other. And suddenly, I realized I didn’t want any of that.”

“Any of what?” Dean asked, frowning. “Sarah?”

“Everything about Sarah,” Sam clarified. “That… that life, those art exhibits, all those people looking down on me because I’m the son of a mechanic, reminding me I got to Stanford because of a scholarship instead of being a legacy with some big important name as if that made me somehow better. I was never going to be good enough for her family, for her friends. I’m not even sure I was good enough for her.”

“That’s some bullshit,” Dean said, immediately. “You’re the smartest guy in the planet, you do awesome work with all those people you help.”

“Exactly,” Sam agreed. “I got tired of trying to prove… I don’t know even know what I was trying to prove. But I wanted something simpler, something real and messy. Someone who is not going to make me feel constantly inferior to them.” He stopped and sighed deeply. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t care for Sarah. I just couldn’t handle everything that came attached with dating her anymore.”

“So you hauled ass back to Kansas and hooked up with some random pretty girl you just met to forget about your heartache.”

Dean got the exact reaction he was looking for with that comment: Sam’s face immediately turned red and he moved nervously in his seat.

“How do you…?”

“You must have slept somewhere last night and I saw the hickie,” Dean said, laughing. “Good for you, little brother!”

“It wasn’t… it wasn’t like that…”

“No, of course not. It wasn’t just a one-night stand, you felt some sort of mystical connection with her and it was all powerful and perfect even if it wasn’t meant to last.” Dean laughed some more. “Come on, spill. Was she hot?”

Sam crossed his arms over his chest, defensive. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore.”

“Well, we’re stuck here for a while,” Dean pointed out. “So I’m just gonna start guessing. Was she brunette? Blonde? You always liked blondes…”

“Oh, my God!” Sam protested, looking up the ceiling as if he expected God himself to come down and rescue them. Which would have been awfully convenient, but of course, it didn’t happen.

And hell, Dean had just found a new way to keep himself entertained until someone did come to their rescue. Bothering his little brother just never got old.


	12. Chapter 12

“Alright everybody, remain calm!” Anna said, despite the fact that no one was panicking. She was standing near the door with her cellphone in her hand to draw attention to herself. “The electric company said the light just went out because of the storm, but it should be back in an hour or two.”

Gabriel realized that he was once again presented with a golden excuse to make his exit, and boy, did he want to make it now more than ever. The only thing more uncomfortable than running into his ex-girlfriend at a party was running into his ex-girlfriend at a party while _she was in a wheelchair_. And no, he didn’t want to know why Meg needed a wheelchair, he just wanted to run away from that place as fast and as far away as he could.

But then Anna started organizing people and he couldn’t do it anymore.

“If someone wishes to leave right now, we have flashlights and umbrellas and Gabriel can walk you downstairs…”

“What?”

“But we can also stay and turn on some candles and keep the party going!” Anna suggested in a chirpy tone that had nothing to do with how desperate and sad she’d sounded just a moment before when Gabriel had found her crying in the kitchen. “Who’s up for that?”

Apparently, not many people shared Gabriel’s opinion that the party was super lame, because many of the present cheered at the idea.

“Okay, so we’re going to start passing candles and keep going until the light comes back!” Anna decided. “Claire, Jack, please help out with that. Gabriel, you too.”

“I thought I was in the walking people downstairs team!” Gabriel protested. People laughed, so he figured one of the disadvantages of being the funny guy was that no one could tell when he was being serious.

But oh, well, he supposed there were things to be in charge of. Like, checking if Meg was fine inside the dark bathroom, which Castiel and Anna went to do as soon as the guests got distracted talking and laughing about the situation.

“Well, this sucks,” Claire commented as she opened Castiel’s wardrobe in search of the candles.

“I think it’s fun!” said Jack, because he always had to see the positive side to anything. Gabriel still couldn’t believe a kid this nice had come out of Luc’s gonads, but there he was. “It’s like… a Halloween party in the middle of June.”

“The storm certainly adds ambience, I guess,” Gabriel agreed. He pointed his cellphone’s light to the farthest shelves, where the candles were supposed to be. “Of course, for this to be a real Halloween party, someone would have to get murdered.”

Jack gasped as if the mere idea of it was scandalous, but Claire giggled.

“Now, that would be fun!”

“Yeah. And don’t tell anybody, but I think your dear old Uncle Gabe might be the victim.” Gabriel stood on the tip of his toes and started feeling around in the high shelf. Castiel had said to look for a wooden box and that the candles were inside, but there was nothing of the sort up there.

“How come?” Claire asked.

“Do you need help with that?” Jack added.

If Gabriel had been a less prideful man, maybe he would have come to admit that yes, he needed a bit of help and that his nephew, who was at this point in his life a few inches taller than him, should be doing this instead of him. But like with many other things, he’d already gone too far to back down now.

“Bring a chair so I can stand on it,” Gabriel ordered.

“Are you sure?”

“Kid, of course I’m sure!”

Jack went to do that, because he was too nice to argue with anyone, even when he maybe should.

“Who would want to murder you?” Claire insisted.

Gabriel probably could have dismissed the comment as “just a joke”. A responsible adult would do that, instead of airing his adult problems to his teenage niece. But then again, Claire had always been mature for her age, and as the gay uncle, he’d always felt connected to her because she was the gay niece. They needed to stick together.

“My ex,” he confessed.

And for some reason, Claire didn’t seem to need any further explanation.

“Oh, yeah. We’ve met her.”

“You did?” Gabriel asked. That brought about a whole ton of other questions like “What?” and “Why?” and, especially, “How had she known Meg was his ex?”

“I mean, we didn’t know she was your ex until we heard her tell the story of the swing and the sandbox,” Claire said.

Gabriel was glad the light was so poor, because that meant she couldn’t see him cringe. Jack came back into the room, dragging a chair, and Claire immediately informed him:

“Turns out we were right; she was the bitch ex-girlfriend!”

“Really?” Jack positioned the chair in front of the wardrobe and looked up. He sounded confused when he added: “But when Uncle Gabe tells stories about her, she always sounds like this absolute horrid person! And the woman we met, she was… nice.”

Gabriel decided to climb the chair without answer to that observation. Maybe, if he was lucky, he would fall down and die. Well, not die, but hit his head real hard so he would miss out the rest of the “party” and he could wake up in a hospital where he could be taken care of by a handsome male nurse. In his head, said male nurse looked a lot like Sam.

Where was Sam, anyway? He probably could have reached the stupid candles without standing on anything.

“I mean, obviously the stories had to be exaggerated for comedic effect, right?” Claire pointed.

“Right,” Gabriel mumbled, only half paying attention to what they were saying.

There was no wooden box up there! Was Castiel high or something…? Oh, wait, there it was. Way in the back. Way out of his short arms’ reach. Gabriel stretched his hand as far as he could, grimacing when his fingers barely grazed the damn box…

“Still, she didn’t seem all that terrible,” Jack insisted. “She was very chill when you mentioned Kaia.”

“So?”

Just a little bit more… dammit, it was hard to try and grab the thing while also holding his cellphone up to be able to see. If he stood on the tip of his toes, a little closer, maybe he finally could…

“I’m just saying, Uncle Gabe always just makes her sound so… homophobic.”

Three things happened at the same time. The first one was that Gabriel’s phone ran out of battery and turned off, plunging him into darkness. The second was that he was literally plunging down, because he had apparently simultaneously run out of chair to stand on. And the third one was that Gabriel regretted every single life decision that had lead him to that point in his life and it felt like he had an eternity to contemplate each and every single one of them before gravity caught a hold of him.

He put his arm before him instinctively, but he still hit his head against something. A sharp, blunt pain went through his skull. He laid on the floor, blinking at the disorienting darkness around him.

“Uncle!”

“Uncle Gabe!”

“Are you okay?” Jack asked, grabbing him by the arm.

Gabriel was tempted to ask him if he looked okay to him, but he was still a little dizzy from the fall. And besides, Anna burst into the room right at that moment, holding a flashlight like it was a weapon of self-defense.

“What happened? We heard something!”

“Uncle Gabe fell off the chair,” Claire informed her while Jack lifted Gabriel up and gently helped him sit up on Castiel’s bed.

“Why was he standing on a chair in the first place?” Anna wanted to know. Gabriel was about to tell him that he was looking for the damn candles, but then she pointed the flashlight at him. “You’re bleeding!”

Gabriel blinked. Now that she mentioned it, there was something gooey and hot dripping down his face. He touched it and when he looked at his fingers, he noticed they were coated in red.

“It’s probably nothing,” he said, but of course, it was too late to stop Hurricane Anna now.

“Kids, stay with him!” she instructed them. “I’m going to go get some help!”

“I’m fine!” Gabriel protested, uselessly. Anna had already left the room.

“It looks ugly,” Claire said.

“Does it hurt?” Jack asked.

“No, it doesn’t!” Gabriel protested, even though it felt like his head was splitting in two. “I’m fine. I don’t need to…”

The door opened again, and Gabriel was certain now that all of this had to be one long-winded nightmare.

Meg wheeled herself in, with a first aids kit on her lap.

“Hey,” she said, simply, as she rolled her chair closer to him. He couldn’t see the expression in her face in the very poor light, but her tone was gelid. Anna and Castiel came behind her. “Okay, I’m going to need some light.”

Anna immediately pointed the flashlight to his face. Gabriel winced at all that light suddenly in his eyes. Meg grabbed him by the chin and moved his head to the side a little more forcefully than necessary.

“Yeah, it’s probably just a scratch,” she determined. “You always had an incredibly thick skull anyway.”

“Thanks,” Gabriel growled. What else could he say? This was already humiliating enough.

And then Castiel went and reached for the box of candles without standing on anything. Dammit.

“You guys will be fine?” Anna asked, handing the flashlight to Jack.

“Yeah, I got this,” Meg assured her.

Gabriel wanted to scream at them not to leave them alone with her, but that would’ve made it even worse. Meg didn’t seem like she wanted to pick up a fight. She told Jack to hold the flashlight up and opened the first aid kit. She worked calmly and methodically, soaking the gauze with disinfectant before gently applying it on his wound.

“Ouch, ouch!”

“Baby,” Meg said. The faintest of smirks showed in her lips. “You’re not even bleeding anymore.”

“Right,” Gabriel said through gritted teeth. Jack was still there, looking and listening to everything he said, so he tried to come up with a neutral topic of conversation. “I’d forgotten you did this for a living.”

“You lived with me for almost two years, and you’d forgotten I’m a nurse?”

So that was not as smooth as Gabriel had hoped.

“I just meant…”

“Don’t worry about it,” she cut him off, mercifully. She put a bandage over the scratch and then rummaged through the kit until she found an aspirin blister. “Jack, you mind bringing some water for your uncle? Water. Not beer.”

“Yeah, right away.” Jack walked towards the door, realized he was taking the only source of light in the room with him and came back. “You better hold on to this.”

And then he left and now Gabriel was truly alone with Meg. She looked a bit pale and eerie in that poor light, but there was no animosity in her gaze when she turned towards him.

“So, how you’ve been?”

Her tone was still emotionless. Like she wasn’t asking because she wanted to know, but because the silence would’ve been more uncomfortable than any small talk they could make.

“Good. Good. You know. Grinding,” Gabriel said, trying to sound just as indifferent as her. He wasn’t sure he got it. “Working. Living the dream.”

“Uh-huh. So you get paid actual money instead of exposure these days?”

“Ha,” Gabriel mumbled. She just had to rub salt in the wound on how unsuccessful he used to be, didn't she? “Yeah, I get paid.”

“I’m impressed.”

Gabriel was going to make a biting comment, but he decided not to at the last second. Instead, he changed to say what he’d been planning to tell her since he’d realized Sam was at the party too.

“My boyfriend is very impressed with me as well.”

It came out way clumsier than he intended and it didn’t cause any effect on her, except for a raise eyebrow.

“Boyfriend?”

“Yeah, boyfriend,” Gabriel replied. “I got a boyfriend. You might have seen him here tonight. He’s handsome and very tall…”

Meg narrowed her eyes at him for a second.

“Wait… you’re telling me Sam’s your boyfriend?”

Dammit, did she know him? Because if she knew him, then this wasn’t really going to work.

But she didn’t say anything about it. She just let out the most condescending chuckle in the world.

“Why is that funny?” Gabriel asked.

“Oh, no reason.” Meg chuckled some more. It was infuriating.

“Listen…”

“Here’s the water!” Jack announced, walking back in and holding his cellphone so he could see. “There you go.”

“Have a couple for the pain,” Meg instructed, pointing at the aspirins. “And lay off the beer for the rest of the night.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Gabriel muttered.

“Oh, I don’t know, Gabe. You’re a funny guy. You’ll figure it out.”

And with that, she backed her wheelchair away and turned around to leave the room.


	13. Chapter 13

“Maybe we should check on them,” Castiel suggested.

“I don’t know how that’s going to help.”

“By letting them know we haven’t forgotten about them?”

“I’m sure they know that already, Cas. We should stay here and make sure everything runs smoothly.”

Castiel wasn’t sure why Anna was so worried about it. The light going off hadn’t really put a damper on the party. They have lost around half of their guests, yes, but the ones who remaned were still laughing and talking just like they had been minutes before. Castiel attributed this mainly to Meg, who was being an absolute charmer, talking about the weird patients she’d had to help during blackouts and full moons.

“I don’t know what is it about it, but every weirdo in the world sees the moon and they decide to just go absolutely mad…”

Gabriel was sulking in the corner, holding some ice wrapped in a towel to his head and watching Meg with a seething silence. But since Meg had decided to cordially ignore him, it seems like everything was working out fine for them.

In the meantime, Jack had escorted the group that were leaving downstairs and returned to tell remind them that Sam and Dean were sort of… still trapped in the elevator and had called for help when they walked past them.

“The company said the electricity would come back in thirty minutes,” Anna said. “It has been only twenty. They can wait ten more minutes.”

“But what if it doesn’t come back?”

Anna looked up at the ceiling. Even in the soft candlelight, Castiel could make out the exasperation on her face.

“Then we’ll worry,” she said.

“Are you okay?” Castiel asked, because that was… not Anna. Anna worried about everything, constantly. She was always three steps ahead from any problem that might come, and the fact she wasn’t worried that her boyfriend was trapped in the elevator just didn’t make any sense.

Anna eyed the crowd of invitees, perhaps to make sure no one was coming to talk to them right then and lowered her voice.

“Dean is going to propose.”

Castiel blinked and did his best to feign surprise.

“Oh. How… how do you know?”

That wasn’t convincing at all, but Anna was too lost in her own worries to notice.

“I found the ring. I was looking for something else in his side of the closet, and I picked up his dad’s jacket and noticed there was something in the pocket.”

She didn’t need to add what she’d found in there. Dean was as good at hiding things as Castiel was at acting.

“Well, that’s… good, isn’t it?” Castiel asked, confused at why Anna didn’t seem elated about this discovery. “You and Dean, you always said you wanted a future with him…”

Anna didn’t answer. She didn’t even look at him. She held a beer closer to her chest and watched as the candles burned away without saying a word.

“Anna?” Castiel asked, confused at her silence. “You want to marry Dean, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Anna admitted, but it sounded weak. Like she was confirming to a child that the sky was blue and was angry he would even ask something like that.

“But?” Castiel prodded her.

Anna put her beer against her lips and drank for so long Castiel started fearing she was going to choke.

“Is there something a little stronger than this?”

“You said you didn’t want anyone getting drunk and making a scene,” he reminded her. “But I think I have some whiskey in the upper cabinets.”

“Oh, good!” she exclaimed. “Now it’s going to be a party!”

She strode into the kitchen without bothering to answer his last question.

So, that was odd. Castiel moved next to Gabriel, because he was the only person who wasn’t talking with anybody.

“Does Anna seem to be acting strangely to you?” he asked him.

“When has our dear sister acted like a sane, normal person?” Gabriel shot back.

“I don’t know, Gabriel. Of us all, I think she’s the only one who has managed to be more of a normal person.”

Gabriel reflected on this for a few seconds.

“What a sad thought.”

“Focus!” Castiel demanded, snapping his fingers in front of Gabriel. “Did she say anything to you about Dean?”

“Only that they had a fight like, three seconds before the light went off.”

Well, that helped explain why she was in no particular rush to rescue Dean.

“Unbelievable,” Castiel said.

“Wait, where are you going?” Gabriel asked, when he noticed him grabbing the flashlight and heading for the door.

“To assure Sam and Dean that we haven’t left them in an elevator to starve.”

“Oh, so that’s where they went?”

Castiel said nothing, but he let Gabriel follow him outside. He turned on the flashlight to orient himself in the hallway and…

He tripped against his plant pot. The din of glass bottles rolling down across the floor surprised and confused them. Someone had taken several ones outside of the apartment and hidden them there. He pointed the light at them and frowned.

“What are these doing out here?” he asked.

Gabriel shrugged and shook his head to indicate he had no idea. Castiel stood the bottles up, reminding himself he was going to take them back inside and headed to the close elevator doors. He knocked on them and heard no answer.

“Dean?” he tried calling, but either the doors were too thick, or they were some floors down. So he moved unto the stairs, with Gabriel following him still.

“I just want to see what exactly you’re going to do,” he said when Castiel asked him why exactly he was coming along. “Like are you going to grab those boys and just climb the elevator hole with them in your arms or something? Because, brother, I know you’re surprisingly ripped, but I think that might be a bit beyond your capabilities.”

“Very funny,” Castiel said, as he knocked on the elevator door again. “Dean? Sam?”

“Cas?” came a muffled voice from the other side, two floors down.

“Finally!” Dean exclaimed. “We tried calling you again, but you’re not picking up and Sam’s phone ran out of battery!”

“I’m very sorry about that,” Castiel said, grimacing. “But Anna assured me the electricity should be back soon.”

“Right. Right, right, right,” Dean answered on the other side. “Here’s the thing, Sam’s getting a bit claustrophobic…”

“I’m sorry, I’m not the one who threatened to eat you!” Sam protested.

“… so like, call the firefighters maybe?” Dean suggested.

It wasn’t a bad idea. Castiel’s own phone was on its last line of battery after he’d been using as a flashlight, but he guessed he still had enough time to make the call.

“Hang on,” Castiel said, dialing 911 on his phone… only for it to die before he could press the call button. “Umh… Gabriel, give me your phone.”

“Gabriel’s there?” Sam asked.

Castiel frowned. How did the two know each other? In the rare occasions when Sam had been there from California, Gabriel had always found an excuse not to go to Anna and Dean’s place to meet him.

But now it seemed like they were in good terms, because Gabriel said:

“Don’t worry, Sammy. I’ll rescue you,” as he whipped his phone out.

“Hey, only I get to call him Sammy!” Dean protested.

“Dean, it’s fine…”

“Yes, a couple of my friends were trapped in an elevator?” Gabriel said into his phone. “We’re going to need someone to come and get them. Aha. I see. No, they’re not. Are you guys hurt?” he asked.

“No, we’re fine.”

“We’re okay.”

“Yeah, they’re alive and well,” Gabriel told the operator. “I see. Very well, thank you.”

“So, are they coming?” Dean asked.

“Apparently, there’s about a hundred other people trapped in elevators all around the city,” Gabriel informed them. “And some of them are like, in actual mortal danger, so they’re prioritizing those. They say it’ll be around an hour before they can get here.”

“Oh, come on!” Sam protested.

“Great,” Dean said. “That’s _great_ news.”

“I don’t understand your definition of great news,” Castiel said, frowning.

“Sarcasm, dear brother,” Gabriel explained.

Oh. That made more sense.

“But it’s okay! We can stay and keep you company!” Gabriel said.

“Actually, I should go back up,” Castiel replied.

“I can stay and keep you company!” Gabriel corrected himself.

“Eh… I think we’ll be fine, thanks,” Dean tried to say.

“It’s… if you want to stay, that’s okay,” Sam intervened. “We could use the distraction.”

“Great!” Gabriel immediately sat down next to the elevator door, like there was no better place in the world for him to be. “So, who wants to hear a funny story…?”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Castiel called out one last time. If Dean told him to get Gabriel away, then he would have to drag his brother upstairs again and that was going to be a fight with how eager Gabriel seemed to not be in Meg’s near vicinity.

“Yeah, don’t worry about us,” Dean sighed after a few seconds in which, Castiel imagined, he was conferring with Sam. “You go back to the party.”

“Take that with you,” Gabriel encouraged him when Castiel offered the flashlight to him. “You’re going to need it more than I do.”

Castiel was sure there was something he was missing there, but he shrugged and promised Sam and Dean that he would come back to check on them in a while if the electricity didn’t return. He made a pause to pick up the bottles behind the pot before walking back into his apartment and placed them back on the table next to the now cold pizza and sausage rolls.

The mood in there had changed a lot. Where before they were people in groups of three or four, now the dozen or so guests still remaining were gathered around in a circle in the middle of the dining room. Several of them had candles in their hands or have placed them nearby, so the general feel was that of a sort of cult.

Except instead of chanting ominously, they were all laughing.

“Okay, okay!” Anna said, standing in the middle of a circle with a bottle of whiskey in her hand. “Never have I ever… ghosted someone after a bad date!”

Several people in the circle raised their glasses.

“Billie!” Balthazar exclaimed, surprised.

“Not my proudest moment,” Billie admitted as everyone cheered. “Not my proudest.”

“Cas!” Meg exclaimed, waving a hand at him as soon as she spotted him. “You were hiding the good stuff from us!”

“I… seem to have been,” Castiel said while Anna filled the shot glasses he didn’t remember he had. “What’s going on here?”

“We’re playing never have I ever, but making it interesting,” Meg explained.

“Hell yes, we are!” Anna said. She had apparently already drunk a few shots herself, because she was laughing loudly and her eyes were shiny. “Wanna join us?”

“Umh… okay, why not?”

“Awesome. You can have my spot,” Meg said, rolling away from the circle of people. “I think I’ve had enough for now.”

Castiel was about to follow her, but Rachel grabbed him by the hand and sat him down between herself and Indra.

“Alright, alright!” Anna said, putting a glass in his hand. “Never have I ever… made out with an ex after we broke up!”

Balthazar took a shot and blinked at Dumah, who giggled loudly. This game had been gone for longer than Castiel thought or the whiskey was far stronger than it seemed, because everyone was far too giggly for them to be only in a few rounds.

“Never have I ever… kept something I should have said quiet!” Anna said, and immediately took the bottle to her lips and swallow what must have been at least half of what was left from the whiskey.

“Woah, okay!” Kelly said, standing up and trying to wrestle the bottle from her hands. “I think that’s quite enough…”

“No, come on!” Anna protested. “We haven’t finished playing!”

“Yeah, I think we’re finished,” Kelly said. Other people agreed with her (“Yeah, I think I’ve had enough”) or supported Anna’s claim that they weren’t quite done (“Come on, another round!”).

Castiel took the moment to down his shot. The liquid burned down his throat and made him cough. Quietly, he stood up and moved to the living room. Jack and Claire were on the couch, with Meg sitting nearby.

“Oh, come on!” Claire exclaimed, writing wildly on her phone. “You can’t do this to me, Alex!”

“I’m sorry, Claire,” Jack said, sensitive as always.

“What happened?”

“Our… study session was cancelled due to the blackout,” Jack explained.

Given the fact that Claire was never that motivated to “study”, Castiel came to the conclusion that he meant something completely different by that.

“That sucks, kiddo,” Meg said, sympathetically, but she apparently had her own problems to deal with. “And… my phone died.”

“Who were you trying to call?” Castiel asked.

Meg made a face that was hard to interpret in the shadows. But when she looked up, the smile in her lips was definitely sadder than Castiel was expecting.

“I’m sorry. I really wanted to stay and hang out with you a little longer. But between the storm and the blackout and… frankly, me drinking more than I should have, I’m exhausted,” she said. “I need to go home and lie down for a while.”

“Oh,” Castiel mumbled. Well, of course Meg was exhausted. She had spent all day with him. It had been selfish of him to invite her there without accounting on how she was going to go back home afterwards.

“Then again, I just realized no one is going to carry me and my chair down five flights of stairs,” she added, rubbing her temples. “I am really drunker than I thought.”

“No!” Claire screamed as her phone screen flashed and turned off. “No, don’t die, you stupid piece of useless technology…!”

“We could carry you,” Jack offered.

“That’s a recipe for someone falling down and cracking their skull open,” Meg replied.

“I’m going to chuck you off a cliff and buy myself a carrier pigeon, I swear…!”

“You could… you could always lie down on my bed,” Castiel offered her.

Claire stopped screaming and both her and Jack looked up at him with eyes wide open. Meg hesitated.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “There’s a distinct possibility that I’m going to fall asleep and you won’t even be able to wake me up until tomorrow.”

“That’s fine,” Castiel assured her. “I can sleep on the couch after everybody else leaves…”

The din of broken glass came before Meg could answer to him. Anna had apparently dropped the whiskey bottle and was now leaning against the wall, with Kelly trying to hold her upright.

“Who let Aunt Anna get a hold of the whiskey?” Claire asked.

“I’m fine!” Anna screamed, between hiccups and laughter. “I’m super fine! Right now, I’m going to make the light come back! Watch!”

She snapped her fingers.

And, incredibly, the lightbulbs blinked and suddenly turned on again.

“Ha! Told you!” Anna exclaimed, as the guests cheered and clapped. “All in the power of positive thinking!”

“That’s very good, Anna,” Kelly said, as people around the apartment blew all the candles off. “You should probably sit down.”

“Wait, wait, no, we can’t sit down!” Anna said. “We need to clean up that mess! And also, everyone’s phone is dead, so they need to charge them while we… do the thing… the thing with the candles and the cupcakes!”

Even drunk out of her mind, she still managed to ring everyone around. Castiel felt the party was coming to an end, so he turned to Meg.

“What do you say? Can you stay until after the cupcakes? Then I’ll go with you downstairs to wait for your transport,” he proposed.

Meg looked up at him and shook her head.

“I could never say no to you.”


	14. Chapter 14

Dean was two seconds away from killing someone. He lamented that someone had to be Sam, because he was his brother and he loved him. But he couldn’t simply pry the elevator doors open and kill Gabriel, which was what he really wanted to do.

“So anyway, that was the weirdest hookup I’ve ever had,” Gabriel said, in what had to be the fifth story about him sleeping with random dudes or doing something crazy while drunk that he told them.

Dean had never been a fan of Gabriel’s. Yes, he supported his career and had watched the movies he’d had minor roles in because he was Anna’s brother, basically, but if it had been up to him, he probably would’ve heckled the guy the second time he watched him perform. For some reason, though, Sam seemed to find him endearing.

“That’s crazy,” he said, chuckling softly at Gabriel’s story.

“You want more, big guy?” Gabriel asked. “Because there’s definitely more where that came from.”

“Why are you indulging this?” Dean inquired, glaring at Sam.

“I don’t know,” Sam admitted. “He’s funny. And he’s honest about how much of a mess he is.”

“You know I’m sitting right behind the door, right?” Gabriel said. “I can hear everything you say!”

“I know you can,” Sam said, calmly. “That’s why I said it.”

“Aw, giant, you’re going to make me tear up!”

That had to be the strangest thing about the entire ordeal. When had the two of them become friends? Whenever Sam visited from California, he was always there for a few days at a time and Gabriel usually found an excuse not to go to their apartment even if they invited him, so the two had never run into each other before this party. Dean was starting to think that they would only actually meet when they were both invited to his and Anna’s wedding.

Which might not even happen now. The thought was enough to make him want to crawl into a corner of the elevator and stay there until he actually died of starvation.

“I also, I’ve had a couple of weird day jobs while I was trying to make it,” Gabriel said. “Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve made it now, but I am definitely in a much better place…”

“Please, stop talking,” Dean groaned. Gabriel either didn’t hear him or blatantly chose to ignore him.

“So, anyway, I was working retail this one time…”

The red lights went off. Dean was about to scream out a curse when immediately the bright, white regular lights came in.

“Finally!” Dean shouted, jumping to his feet. He stood up and started pressing all the elevator’s buttons at the same time, because they had to stop at somewhere, dammit!

The doors opened exactly ten seconds later, in front of a very surprised Gabriel, who eyed them with slight surprise. It was as if he’d been talking to them through the doors for so long he’d actually forgotten that they were actually humans on the other side.

“Umh… hello,” he greeted them, with a frown.

“We’re going back!” Dean determined, walking past him. “And we’re taking the damn stairs, you hear me?”

“Is he always this grumpy or just when he gets hungry?” Gabriel asked.

That wasn’t even smart or funny, but Sam chuckled anyway. Dean had to stop after climbing a few steps because, had he heard that right? That was the kind of laughter that Sam used when a girl said something that was only mildly funny, but she was hot, so Sam was trying to be polite and nice to her. He knew his brother well enough to tell the difference.

Also, was his imagination or were him and Gabriel walking very close to each other?

No, didn’t matter. He had to get back to the party, at the very least to assure Castiel that they were alive and maybe try to convince Anna that they should go home and maybe talk about the things they’d said earlier in the kitchen.

Because, dammit, he wasn’t going to take this lying down. Anna was the best thing that’d ever happened to him and he wasn’t willing to just let go because of what might be a stupid fucking misunderstanding.

It was a bit disappointed to realize that people at the party weren’t precisely worried about them. A chorus of “Happy birthday to you…” greeted them when they reached the floor.

The cupcakes he and Anna had spent an entire afternoon baking were served on the table. Anna thought it’d be more original than just having a birthday cake, for some reason, and Dean went along with it because what the hell did he know about party-planning anyway? Castiel held one in front of him with a candle burning on it and smiling awkwardly as everyone sang and stared at him. When he blew it, everyone clapped and cheered as if he’d accomplished something.

“Great, this is awesome!” someone screamed on the side and it took Dean a second to realize that person was Anna. “Look at my brother, isn’t he the best?!”

She practically jumped at him, so Castiel barely had time to put the cupcake down and hold her as she lassoed her arms around her neck.

“Okay, okay. Thank you, Anna,” he mumbled, as people around them clapped and cheered with enthusiasm. “Thank you all for coming. I… to be quite honest with you, I was not entirely sure about this party.”

“I’ll say!” Anna exclaimed, her speech slurry and her laughter shrilly. “I had to force him to throw it, he is such a fucking hermit!”

People around them laughed, but Dean caught the awkward glances some of them exchanged. They couldn’t really be blamed for it.

Dean had seen Anna drunk, truly drunk, on only a few occasions, but they were enough for him to realize that this was what was going on there. She’d always been an awful drunk. She became loud and belligerent, making some jokes that her sober version would never be cruel enough to say, all while laughing like nothing could ever touch her. Where the hell had she got a drink hard enough for her to get drunk was irrelevant.

What really matter was this was definitely not going to be the time to hold an important or serious conversation with her.

“I know, I can be a little reclusive…”

“Understatement!” Anna shouted. There were noticeably less laughter now, but Castiel pressed on as if he didn’t notice the awkwardness around him:

“But I am lucky enough to count on all of you. You’re my friends and my family and I want to thank you for sharing this day with me.”

“Awww!” Anna said, while everyone clapped. “Three hurrahs for Cas!”

She then tried to lead the crowd in a “hip, hip…” chant, but Kelly and Claire grabbed her by the shoulder and gently lead her away, thank goodness.

“Grab a cupcake, please,” Castiel said, pointing at the platter. “Thank you so much for coming. Thank you… oh, you’re back!” he exclaimed, when he spotted Dean. Relief dawned in his eyes. He grabbed Dean by the arm and pulled him aside. “Listen, I think you should take Anna home,” he said, lowering his voice so the other guests wouldn’t hear him.

“Yeah, no kidding!” Dean exclaimed. “Where the hell did she get the alcohol?”

“I had an old bottle of whiskey in my cabinets and I think she also drank my sherry… listen, just… take her home. People are leaving after this anyway.”

“Okay, don’t worry about it, man.” Dean patted him in the shoulder. “I’ll deal with this. Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.”

Castiel walked away towards a couple of his friends that were already heading for the door, each with a cupcake in hand. Dean didn’t pay attention as he strode to the living room, where Claire, Jack and Kelly had dragged Anna to.

“I’m fine!” she insisted, as Kelly clearly had to use all of her force of will to keep her seated in the couch. “I’m perfectly okay! I have to… go back there and help Cas with the guests. He’s… he’s very awkward, you know?”

“He candle five minutes while you sit down,” Kelly replied, talking calmly as if she was trying to reason with a particularly stubborn child. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Just… sit down a bit.”

“Ugh, I am never going to drink,” Claire muttered to her brother. “Like, ever.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t seem like it’s a good idea…” Jack agreed.

Dean was glad they were making good choices for themselves, but the fact that Anna was acting like anti-alcohol PSA was not really a good sign.

“Hey,” he said, as he walked over them.

Kelly had the same relieved expression on her face when she spotted him. Anna, however, twisted her mouth as if she’d just swallowed something very bitter.

“Oh, you’re back!” she said. “Great! I mean, it was about time, after you left half of the food uncooked…”

“I was trapped in the elevator, Anna,” Dean reminded her.

“Which you wouldn’t have been if you hadn’t left in the first place! Have, you like… have you ever considered that?”

There was really no point arguing with her, so Dean didn’t attempt to.

“I got it from here,” he assured Kelly.

“Good, does that mean we can leave now?” Claire asked. It was odd seeing her without her cellphone, but she was fidgety enough that Dean had to assume that it must have been charging somewhere.

“No, we’re staying and we’re helping Uncle Cas clean!” Kelly said.

“Ugh,” Claire repeated, rolling her eyes.

“Good!” Jack said almost at the same time.

Dean could scarcely believe those two shared any genes.

Kelly put her hands on their shoulders and gently guided them away, leaving him alone with Anna.

“They’re… ugh, they’re super tall now!” Anna complained, which must have been her drunk way to say that the twins had grown up very fast.

“They are, yes,” Dean agreed, kneeling in front of her to untie her shoes. She was going to be far easier to walk downstairs without the risk of her losing one of those. As to why he was going to carry her down, well, there was no way he was taking the elevator again.

Anna, however, didn’t interpret it this way.

“What are you doing? Stop!” she demanded, as she half-heartedly kicked in his general direction. “We’re not leaving yet!”

“Party’s over, Anna. We have to leave,” Dean insisted.

“But the light is back!” she protested. “And I found some whiskey… and I think I broke it? I don’t know, but we can’t leave now!”

“Anna.” Dean put his hands at each side of her and straightened a little so he could look her in the eye. “We have to go home, okay? It’s time to go home.”

Anna stared at him, still a little annoyed. But this time she didn’t try to resist when Dean leaned over and resumed his attempt to try and take off her shoes.

“Why do you put up with me?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Dean said, still too concentrated on what he was doing to look up at her.

“Sure you do,” she slurred. “I’m a pain in the ass. I’m overbearing and perfectionist and I don’t handle it well when things don’t go my way. Like, when we have kids, I’m going to be the most overprotective mom ever.”

_When._

For the first time since they’d had that fight in the kitchen, Dean felt a pang of something resembling hope.

“You’re going to be a great mother,” he replied, confidently, as he set her shoes to the side. “I have no doubts. I just hope I don’t screw up whatever good work you do.”

“No, hey!” She leaned over and placed a hand on his cheek. “Why would you think that?”

“I’m just…” Dean sighed. She was drunk. Whatever he said, wouldn’t really matter, but maybe that was exactly why he needed to say it then. Maybe that was the only time he could really say it. “I’m not the most responsible guy, Anna. I need you to keep me on the straight and narrow.”

“Exactly, and don’t you hate it?”

Dean blinked. It would’ve never, in a million years, occurred to him that Anna would ask him something like that. Anna had always been who she was, without apologies, without fear, without a care about what others might think of her, and to think that she was now second-guessing that because some guy who really had no idea just how fucking amazing she was didn’t give her a damn promotion…

He was the mess. He was the one who had been partying and going out with a different girl every night before he met her. He was the one who’d needed her advice and inspiration to clean up his act.

And that was when it him. He guessed he’d always known it, in some nebulous, unconscious level, but now all the reasons he loved her were materializing right before his eyes.

“I guess… as much as you hate me reminding you it’s not the end of the world that you didn’t get the promotion?”

Anna tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, like her intoxicated state made it impossible for her to grasp what he was saying.

“You need me to remind you not to freak out about the tiny things,” Dean explained. “And I need you to remind me to care about the big ones. That’s why we work well together.”

“Huh,” Anna muttered. “I guess you’re right.”

The softest of smiles appeared on her lips. She looked so incredibly beautiful that Dean’s heart ached thinking that they’d been one stupid fight from losing it all.

Anna leaned forwards, like she was about to kiss him… but then she tipped a little too close.

“Wow, okay!” Dean exclaimed, putting a hand on her shoulder to tip her back up.

“I’m… I’m a little dizzy,” Anna complained, with her eyes closed. “Do we have to go right now? I don’t feel that well…”

“Alright,” Dean said. He gently pushed her down so she would lie down on the couch and propped her feet on the armrest. “You just take a nap while I help Kelly and the others clean, okay? Scream if you need anything.”

Anna mumbled something that sounded vaguely like “okay” and immediately fell asleep after Dean put a pillow under hear head. He straightened his back, a renewed sense of optimism shooting through him. They were going to make it through this. He had no more doubts about it.

He peered at the now almost completely empty dining room. Castiel was seeing the last couple of guests to the door. Kelly, Jack and Claire were nowhere to be seen, presumably on the kitchen washing the dishes or something.

And in one of the corners, Meg was talking to Gabriel and Sam, of all people. What could those three even be talking about, he couldn’t fathom. He figured Gabriel and Meg were passive-aggressively sniping at each other and Sam was probably just humoring them. Dean should probably go and rescue his brother before he did anything else.

He approached them just in time to see Gabriel do something extremely weird: he lassoed his arm around Sam’s and pulled him closer to himself, so their hips would be touching each other.

“… as I was saying, my boyfriend here…”

“What?!” Dean shouted before he could stop himself.

Sam shot a panicked expression at him and Dean realized, without him having to say a word, that this was going to be way more complicated than he’d anticipated.


	15. Chapter 15

Sam wasn’t planning on coming out to his brother that night. Not because he thought it was going to be a problem (though maybe it was going to be, if only because Dean was going to need a moment to process it all), but because Dean had already a lot going on between the party and Anna. Maybe the moment to tell him had been during the hour and a half that they’d spent trapped in an elevator with little else to do than talk to each other, but that opportunity had come and pass and now there they were.

But then again, how was he supposed to bring it up?

“No big deal, but last night I totally slept with your girlfriend’s brother. I didn’t know it was him, isn’t that funny?”

No, that would’ve have required a lot of uncomfortable explanations that Sam wasn’t ready to give. But now it seemed like he was going to have to anyway.

He had no one to blame but himself.

“Come on, Sam, is it really having to pretend that you’re dating me for five minutes the worst thing that could happen to you?” Gabriel had asked him while everybody sang “Happy birthday” to Castiel and grabbed the cupcakes from the table. “Please, just so I can brag about you to my ex!”

“Is this really that important to you?”

“It’s hugely important! Vital!” Gabriel said, nodding with confidence. “Please, just… just stand there and look pretty while I do the talking. That’s all I’m asking. I’m sure you’ll have no problem with it.”

It was stupid what a hold Gabriel had over him. Since the moment he’d sat down on the bar stool next to him for what he thought was only going to be some friendly chat over drinks, he couldn’t get the guy out of his head.

He wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe his laughter, maybe his golden eyes and wide smile, how shameless he was about stating what he wanted and going to get it. Or maybe it was the fact that Gabriel insisted on keeping him away, on keeping anyone from getting too close, really. Like he hid something, a hurt, a sadness underneath all of his jokes and laughter.

Or maybe Gabriel was being honest when he said that Sam just wasn’t picturing him correctly. Maybe that was just what he wanted to believe about Gabriel.

In any case, Sam was willing to find out. After how much time he’d spent trying to pretend to be someone he wasn’t with Sara, he was ready for things to get real and messy. So he’d just sighed and nodded.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” he agreed. “But maybe we should hurry, because it seems like everyone is leaving.”

“Oh, I don’t think she’s going to leave any time soon,” Gabriel said.

“Who is this ex of yours, anyway?”

He should’ve called it off the second Gabriel had pointed in Meg’s direction. Because Sam had talked to Meg and despite the fact that both Anna and Dean seemed wary of her for some reason, she had seemed like a nice person to him.

Putting two and two together, it was obvious that the reason they’d been worried was precisely because of Gabriel and what would happen when the two crossed paths again. There was a story there that it was likely far more complicated than Sam could imagine.

“Are you sure you want to…?” he started.

“Come on!” Gabriel grabbed him by the hand and pulled from him. “You’re not going to chicken out, are you?”

Sam wasn’t going to back down, but he did think there was a distinct possibility that Meg was going to call them out on their bluff. After he’d confided in her about his recent break-up, was she going to believe that he was seeing Gabriel now?

He didn’t have time to raise those objections, though, because as soon as the crowd cleared a little and Castiel got distracted talking to other people, Gabriel pulled from his hand in Meg’s direction.

“Hello!” he greeted her.

Meg turned towards them and raised an eyebrow at their intertwined hands.

“Hello, yourself,” she replied.

“So… this is my boyfriend, Sam. I believe you’re already acquainted?”

Sam saw the way Meg smirked, the glimmer of amusement in her eyes, and he knew that she didn’t believe for a second that they were actually dating. But, for whatever reason, she decided to follow their game.

“Yeah, we had a nice chat,” she replied and then promptly ignored Gabriel as she turned her entire attention towards Sam. “Be careful with this one. He can be a handful.”

“Yeah… I’m figuring that out,” Sam said, with a chuckle he couldn’t repressed.

One glance at Gabriel indicated that this was not how he was expecting the conversation to go. He cleared his throat, loudly, so Meg would pay attention to him again.

“As I was saying, my boyfriend…”

“What?!”

A chill went down Sam’s spine. He automatically let go of Gabriel’s hand and turned on his heel to see exactly what he was fearing he’d see: Dean, standing just a few steps behind him, staring at him with his eyes practically jumping out of their sockets.

What was worse, he’d said it loud enough that Castiel, Kelly and the twins were also all staring at him as well.

“I, uh… Dean… this isn’t…”

“It is!” Gabriel said, now practically hanging from his arm. “We don’t need to be ashamed of our love!”

Meg burst into laughter. It sounded choked, like she was trying to contain herself, but just couldn’t.

Dean ignored him. He raised a finger and pointed at Sam.

“You. Kitchen. Now.”

One time, when he was fourteen, Sam had gone out with some friends from school. They had beers that Sam had drunk, because he was fourteen and he was stupid. He’d also lost his keys somewhere, and thought that sneaking in through the window and sleeping off his drunkenness was a great way to avoid getting in trouble for what he’d done.

The feeling of absolute panic when he’d knocked his mom’s favorite lamp and his dad ran out of the room brandishing his softball bat and spotted him was not unlike what he felt following Dean into the kitchen right now.

Maybe that was why he said the exact same thing he’d said then:

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

“I know it isn’t what it looks like!” Dean said. “Do you have any idea how much drama there was between Meg and Gabe? Trust me, you do not want any part of it!”

Sam opened his mouth and then closed it again. That was definitely not how he expected this conversation to go.

“So, you… you don’t think I’m dating Gabriel?”

Dean snorted.

“Come on, man. You’re going to tell me this isn’t some kind of ploy on Gabriel’s part to stick it to Meg?”

Maybe Dean knew Gabriel a little better than Sam had imagined. His brother turned to open the fridge and took two beers out. He opened them with his key chain and offered him one.

“I’m telling you, stay the fuck out of it.” He clinked his beer against Sam’s and took a long swing. “It’s not worth it.”

And honestly, this was the best outcome Sam could have hoped for. He didn’t have to tell him how he actually regretted it the second he agreed because it was obvious that Meg wasn’t buying it and it was stupid anyway. He didn’t have to explain that he’d already slept with Gabriel and was willing to do it again. He didn’t have to come out to Dean that night.

He stared at his beer bottle for a very long time without taking a drink.

Because now that he wasn’t busted, now that he didn’t have to tell the truth, he didn’t feel relieved. He was frustrated. Maybe a part of him had hoped that he would get caught, to have an excuse to tell Dean the truth.

And well, there was no time like the present, he figured.

“What if I was dating him?”

Dean laughed harder than with any of the jokes that Gabriel had told them while they were caught on the elevator.

Sam kept his face completely serious.

“Sam, what?” Dean asked when he realized he wasn’t joining in on the laughter. “What are you even talking about? You’re not gay.”

“No, I’m not,” Sam admitted. He took a deep breath and then continued: “I’m bisexual.”

Dean choked on his beer. He coughed and wheezed for about thirty seconds until Sam realized he wasn’t going to be able to start breathing again without help. He hit him on the back a couple of times until Dean could start speaking again.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that the first thing he managed to say was:

“What?”

“I’m bi,” Sam repeated, with his face blank just so Dean knew that he was being completely serious. “It means I’m also attracted to dudes…”

“I know what it means!” Dean exclaimed. He ran his fingers through his hair, with the confused look of a man that was reconsidering a bunch of things. “Since when?”

Sam was tempted to laugh then. How was he supposed to answer that question?

“Since… I don’t know eleventh grade when I got a crush on Tom Brady?”

Dean blinked a couple of times. For a second, Sam thought he was going to ask who that was, but then he surprised him by remembering:

“Wait, that dude was a douchebag! Don’t tell me you’re into douchebags!” His eyes opened wide with horror. “Don’t tell me you’re into Gabriel!”

It surprised Sam that Dean had just found out this information about him and he’d already managed to read him. He guessed he stayed quiet for too long or maybe shown one emotion in his face, because Dean recoiled as if Sam had just confessed to kicking puppies for fun.

“Oh, fuck no!”

“He’s… he’s funny,” Sam said, feeling like his face had suddenly become a lit torch. “And he’s kind of cute. And… look, Dean, I like him, but I only just met him last night…”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Dean interrupted him. “You’re telling me Gabriel was the hot chick?”

“He’s not a hot chick, Dean. That’s kind of the point.”

Dean opened his mouth, but then he raised a finger and shrugged.

“Okay, yeah, you got me there.”

It was stupid. It was so stupid, in fact, that Sam couldn’t help but to burst into laughter. Dean joined him in a second later.

“Oh, man,” he said between chuckles. “Oh, God. Your taste in men _sucks_.”

Relief washed over Sam. If that was the harshest Dean had to say about his sexuality, he would take it.

“So… you’re cool with this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be cool with this? Nothing’s changed. You’re still my pain-in-the-ass little brother.”

Sam sighed. “Thank you.”

“Who has awful taste in guys,” Dean repeated.

“Okay…”

“I mean, just _the worst_. Gabriel? Really?”

“Thank you, Dean, for being so supportive,” Sam said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I better get back to my, uh… ‘boyfriend’.” He drew air quotes.

“Yeah.” Dean took a swig of his beer and shook his head. “How did that even work? Did he stand on a chair to kiss you or…?”

Sam flipped him the bird over his shoulder as he walked out of the kitchen, but he couldn’t really be mad. He didn’t know why it had taken him this long to tell Dean about this. He didn’t know why he’d been so nervous about having this conversation with him for so long.

“Hey.”

He’s been so lost in his thoughts that he almost stumbled on Meg and her chair. She looked up at him with amusement.

“If you’re looking for Gabriel, he’s sulking over there by the window,” she told him.

Gabriel was indeed standing by the window, pretending like he was picking up some dishes from the table. He actually seemed to be stopping to eat every single leftover pizza roll and cupcake on the table. And he did look pretty sulky.

“I think he didn’t get the reaction he was expecting from me,” Meg commented.

“Yeah.” Sam suppressed a chuckled and looked at her. “I… I’m really sorry. For… participating in all of that.”

“Hey, no, don’t be. I know how Gabriel can be,” she said. She made a pause and bit the inside of her cheek for a moment. “So… I know you’re not _actually_ dating, but are you _with_ him? Are you thinking about dating him?”

How come the hardest question Sam had to answer that night came from this woman he’d known all of three hours instead of the brother he’d know all of his life?

“That… remains to be seen,” Sam said. That was an appropriate answer, he figured.

Meg clicked her tongue and tilted her head.

“Well, I’ll give you a piece of unsolicited advice. Gabriel is not the best person to be around right after you got your heart broken.”

“How come?” Sam asked, frowning. That seemed like an oddly specific thing to say.

“Because he’ll make you forget all about it,” Meg explained. “And then he’ll go ahead and break it all over again.”

Sam reflected upon this. Hadn’t he just told Dean that he was looking for something different? And real and messy?

“I think I’ll take my chances,” he concluded.

“Meg!” Castiel called from the other side of the living room.

“Well, maybe he’s changed,” Meg concluded with a shrug before she placed her hands on the wheels to turn away. “Either way, it’s your funeral.”

Sam smiled as he saw her roll away towards Castiel. He definitely couldn’t see why so many people seem to be wary of her. Except for Castiel, of course.

Maybe he would ask Gabriel, one day. For now, it was enough to go at least stand next to him.

“Are you sure all that sugar is good for you?”

Gabriel startled and choked on the cupcake he’d just bitten into.

“Jesus, how are you so big and yet so silent?” he complained.

“I don’t know,” Sam said, smiling. “Good genes, maybe?”

It was not the most ingenious response, Sam realized, but he figured he could be forgiven on account on how many beers he’d had. And besides, of course Gabriel founda way to make it funny.

“So good genes made you handsome, tall and smooth? You genetic freak.”

Sam laughed and took a step closer to him.

“So what are you supposed to be doing right now?”

“Cleaning the dishes, I think?” Gabriel looked down at his cupcakes and shrugged. “Kelly wasn’t very clear in her instructions.”

“You need help with that?”

“Eh… I think I can handle a few dishes.”

“Okay. I was just thinking… the sooner you’re done with that, the sooner we can leave here.”

Gabriel’s eyebrows rose with attention.

“So… that’s still on the table?”

“If you want it to be,” Sam replied, dropping his voice just a little. Dean might have been the ladies’ man back in his pre-Anna days, but Sam also had a few tricks up his sleeves.

And they worked like a charm. Gabriel grinned.

“You take left, I take right!” he said, as he started picking up dishes at twice the speed than before.

Sam laughed as he did the same thing. The night was starting to look up. Finally.


	16. Chapter 16

Castiel seemed nervous as he guided her into his room.

“If you need another blanket… well, I guess I should leave them outside so you can reach for them,” he mumbled, as he opened his closet. “Or another pillow, anything. I’ll come check up on you after everyone has left…”

“Yeah.” Meg moved herself from her chair to the bed. “You sure you don’t want me to help with that?”

“Oh, no, please.” He turned towards her, two perfectly folded extra blankets and another pillow in his hands. “You don’t have to.”

“I just don’t want the others to think that you’re giving me special treatment.”

“Why would they think that?” Castiel asked, as he put the bundle down on the bed.

Meg smiled at him. If the question had come from any other person, she would’ve asked something along the lines of _‘You’re kidding, right?’_ in her most sarcastic tone of voice. But of course, there was no malice coming from him. Castiel was always genuine, considerate and an absolute angel. She was glad to see that hadn’t changed.

“Because I’m your oldest friend here?” she pointed out.

“Oh,” Castiel chuckled. “Yeah, I… I guess.”

They stared at each other. Castiel fidgeted with the helm of his shirt and Meg wondered what the hell was wrong with her. This shouldn’t be so hard. Usually by the time she was on the guy’s room, sitting in his bed, things were already heading the way she wanted them to.

But of course, Castiel wasn’t just another guy. And maybe he wasn’t even thinking along the same lines as her, because he stepped back as he said:

“Just… make yourself comfortable and shout if you need anything…”

“Clarence,” Meg interrupted him. She patted the space on the bed next to her and was glad that she didn’t have to explain what she meant by that.

Castiel sat by her side. The mattress sank next to them. Meg stared at his eyes for a second and noticed the way his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down when he swallowed. Ah. So maybe he was thinking something.

Then again, he’d never been good with subtext. She was going to need to get explicit.

“Maybe you don’t need to sleep on the couch.”

“But… where would I sleep?” Castiel asked, frowning.

“Here.”

“But where would you…?”

Meg didn’t give him time to finish the question. She grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him towards her. He was strong and the body underneath her hand was firm and full of muscles. Yet, he didn’t resist when his face fell forwards towards her and Meg moved her head up so their lips would meet.

She kissed him softly. Hesitantly. She wanted to do more, so much more, God, she’d wanted this for years. But there was still something that pulled her back, something in the back of her mind that wouldn’t let her kiss him the way she really wanted to, tell him everything she’d been holding back for ages.

And it was the same doubt, creeping up her chest, the same fear that she’d mistaken the meaning of his looks, of the way he always shuddered when he touched her, all the questions she didn’t dare to ask out loud, that had never gone away because she’d never got an answer to them.

And the fact he wasn’t kissing her back couldn’t be a good sign.

Meg moved away and looked at him, frowning. He was breathing heavily and his cheeks were bright red. He had his hands balled up in fists over his knees, as if he was physically restraining himself from touching her.

“What’s wrong?” Meg asked. She had the immediate fear that she’d been, in fact, seeing something that wasn’t there _once again_, but she needed to hear it out loud.

“Meg, I… I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I… I can’t.”

“Why not?” Meg asked, frowning.

“You… and Gabriel…”

“Cas, really?” Meg sounded exasperated, but deep down, she was relieved. Was that his only objection to this? That she’d dated his brother forever ago? “That was a long time ago and Gabriel’s obviously moved on…”

“No, I don’t mean your relationship with him,” Castiel cut her off. “I mean the way it ended. Meg, Gabriel told us what happened.”

All the emotional turmoil that Meg had been trying to keep under control wasn’t a problem anymore. Because suddenly she felt like her insides had turned to ice.

“Did he, now?” she asked, arching an eyebrow. “Just out of curiosity, what exactly did he say?”

“He… he said you said some pretty awful things about him. About his sexuality. You… called him names,” Castiel clarified. He seemed more uncomfortable now than ever before, but he continued: “And… I understand if you were angry, but I need to know if you still feel that way… when it comes to that topic. Because Claire came out to us just last year and I don’t want to hurt her by… being with someone who doesn’t…”

His voice trailed off. He must have realized that Meg was pissed off, because now it was her who was clenching her fists and bristling.

But she wasn’t mad at him.

“Unbelievable,” she muttered. She pulled her chair closer and jumped back into it. “Un-fucking-believable.”

“Meg?” Castiel asked, confused. “Meg, where are you going?”

Meg ignored his question, if only because he was about to find out anyway. She kicked the door open and rolled out to the dining room.

“Gabriel Milton!” she bellowed.

Gabriel practically jumped out of his skin. He was in a corner on the other side of the apartment, standing very close to Sam and it was obvious that up until that very second, they’d been talking and giggling together.

Well, Meg was sorry that she had to ruin such a nice, idyllic moment, but she was not about to let this stand.

“What the fuck have you been telling everyone about me all these years?!” she screamed as she rolled closer to him. A thunder came from outside, as if to punctuate her words. The storm was picking back up again.

Gabriel stepped back until his back crashed against Sam’s chest, his eyes wide with terror. And good, he should be. Because if Meg had had knife in her hands right then…

He was lucky the only thing she had was her voice.

“You told them I was some sort of homophobic bitch?!” she accused him. “You let them think I was this absolute horrible person?! You didn’t have the guts to tell them the truth?!”

“L-look, Meg,” Gabriel stammered. “I, uh… maybe… we should talk about this… outside…”

“What do you want to talk about?” Meg shot back. “About how you cheated on me?”

The silence that followed her words was so heavy it felt like the entire building should have collapsed under its weight. The only thing breaking it was the rattling of the water against the window’s glass. Gabriel’s eyes open with a terrible, horrible panic, and maybe if Meg had been a bit less furious, that would’ve been enough to satisfy her.

But she felt like her entire body was on fire, and so the words just kept on coming.

“Sure, let’s talk about that!” she said, raising her voice so if anyone in the apartment hadn’t heard her, they would now. “Let’s talk about how you said you didn’t even have money to afford your part of the rent because you weren’t getting any gigs. Let’s talk about how I took double and sometimes triple shifts to support us while we waited for your career to take off. Or about the time when I came home after a day from hell at the hospital and I found you making out with a guy on the couch?!”

“Oh, damn!” someone (Meg was pretty sure it was Claire) said, and someone else shushed her.

Sam took a step backwards, as if he wanted to put physical distance between him and Gabriel.

“What?” he said.

And apparently, that was the thing that upset Gabriel the most because he immediately turned to Sam.

“No!” he said. “No, that wasn’t…”

“That was exactly what happened, you absolute asshole!” Meg interrupted him. “And then I actually went ahead and talked to him. Do you even remember his name?”

“I… I…” Gabriel stammered, his face turning red.

“It was Max,” Meg interrupted him. “And Max told me that all those nights when you told me that you were working gigs for the exposure, you were actually at the club to find someone to fuck. That every guy in a ten-miles radius knew how easy it was to get in your pants. So not only did you cheat on me, you did it so many times you lost count!”

“Meg, I wasn’t…” Gabriel tried to say. “I… you kicked me out…”

“What was I supposed to do, just take it? Yes, I fucking kick you out!” Meg screamed. “It doesn’t matter if you slept with fifty men or fifty women! What mattered was _you broke my heart_, Gabriel! And you didn’t even have the balls to admit to what you did!”

Gabriel started stuttering out another reply, but Meg had said her piece. She turned her wheelchair around and it was like all the fury that had been burning inside her froze entirely.

Castiel was standing a few steps behind, looking at her and Gabriel alternatively, his blue eyes open wide in shock.

And Meg couldn’t understand why, but she suddenly felt like crying instead of screaming.

“And you believed him,” she said, softly.

Castiel moved towards her.

“Meg…”

Meg didn’t stay to listen what he had to say to her. She moved her arms to push her chair faster, as fast as she needed to get the hell out of there. Suddenly she felt like she was choking. She couldn’t even revel on Gabriel’s misery, she couldn’t even gloat about how everyone had been stupid enough to fall for his life.

Because Castiel had, too. She thought he would have known better, that he would have known her better. But now his long, long silence made a lot more sense.

“Come on!” she muttered, pushing the button over and over as if that would make the elevator come faster. “Come on!”

She needed to be alone and away from everyone’s sight to fall apart comfortably.

But of course, it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“Meg!” Castiel came running out after her and stood next to her chair. Meg made it a point not to look at him as he continued to speak: “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, you’re right! I should have talked to you. I should have asked you what happened…”

“Well, it’s a little too late for that, isn’t it?” Meg snapped.

That had the power to keep Castiel shut long enough for the elevator to arrive. It didn’t do anything for Meg’s emotions, because now she had to add a thin layer of guilt to her anger and sadness. Yes, Castiel had been in the wrong, but hurting him was the equivalent of kicking of a puppy.

She still rolled her chair into the elevator with her head held high. Of course, Castiel followed her inside her.

“Don’t leave,” he begged, standing between her and the door. “Please, let’s talk about it.”

“I’ve got nothing to say to you,” Meg declared. “So when we get down, you better fucking move aside or I’ll roll you over.”

“Please, hear me out. Just five minutes, I need to…”

The elevator jerked up and stopped moving abruptly as the lights went off. Meg searched inside her pockets before she realized she’d forgotten her damn cellphone upstairs, in Castiel’s apartment.

“Are you kidding me right now?!” she shouted as the red emergency lights came on.

Castiel looked at her apologetically, as if it was his fault that the electricity had gone out, _again_.

“I… I’m sorry,” he muttered. “Maybe it’ll come back soon?”

That was when Meg discovered that puppy charm had its limits. Because if she could have controlled her legs well enough to kick him, she would have.


	17. Chapter 17

“This gotta be a joke,” Dean muttered, while the operator on the other end put him on hold for the third time. “This gotta be a fucking joke…”

“Don’t swear!” Anna recommended him. “They… you know they record those, right? You gotta… be nice to them.”

“And you need to lie down again,” Dean said, putting a hand on her shoulder and trying to get her to do just that. “Why are you even up?”

Anna blinked at him in the faint light of her phone. They hadn’t had enough time to charge in the brief interlude when they’d had electricity, so he was certain they were going to be trapped there with just one flashlight at any moment. One flashlight, his drunk girlfriend, two unrestful teens, their anxious mom, and his brother and his one-night stand who were in the middle of what seemed to be a very intense lover’s quarrel.

“Sam, it wasn’t quite like that?”

“So you didn’t cheat on her?”

“It was… it was more like…”

“I can’t believe you!”

“Holy shit,” Claire said from somewhere to her left. “Like, holy shit.”

“Stop swearing, please!” Kelly replied.

“Holy fuck!” Claire replied, raising her voice even louder. “I can’t believe Uncle Gabe did that!”

“I can’t believe he lied,” Jack replied, as if that was somehow worse than him being a cheater. “All of this years, in all of his stand-up stories…”

Dean wasn’t sure why he was the only one who wasn’t surprise to discover that Gabriel was a cheater. It just made sense for him to be. He’d always been kind of a douche and he was glad that Sam was apparently seeing that.

“Oh, I remembered!” Anna said, attempting once again to stand up. “I need to go apologize to Meg!”

“No, you don’t need to do that!” Dean said, fighting to keep Anna on the couch with one hand while holding the phone with the other.

“I do! I treated her like a bitch and it turns out I was wrong!”

“How the hell did you even hear about that?” Dean wondered aloud. “You were asleep!”

Then again, Meg hadn’t exactly kept her voice down.

“… and then you lied to everybody?” Sam argued. “You made her the butt of all your jokes?”

“It wasn’t like that!”

“Enlighten me, then! What was it like?”

Dean had never really seen eye to eye with Meg, but he had to admit that throwing a bomb like that and then storming off to let Gabriel deal with the consequences had a certain dramatic flair he could respect.

Of course, in his opinion, the fact that the light had gone out and she was now probably trapped in the elevator had put a damper on that, but still. Pretty bold of her.

“Where is she?” Anna said, looking around. “Why is so dark in here?”

“The light went off, remember?”

“Oh, right…”

“Sir?” the person on the other side finally spoke.

“Yes! I’m still here!” Dean said, raising his voice so he could speak over Sam and Gabriel’s argument.

“I told you you’d do better to keep away from me! It’s not my fault if you didn’t listen!”

“I didn’t imagine you’d be capable of something like that…”

“… we’re doing everything we can to restore the service as soon as possible…”

“… Gabriel, that is despicable!”

“Joke’s on you, I don’t even know what that word means!”

“… we think it might be as short as twenty minutes this time…”

“Right. We got a person in a wheelchair trapped in an elevator, though,” Dean said. Maybe that would encourage them to go faster.

“Like I said, we’re doing everything we can, but if you think this person might be hurt, you better call 911…”

“She’s in the elevator?” Anna said, attempting to stand again despite Dean holding her. “Great, I’ll go tell her I’m sorry…”

“Well, I guess we’re not leaving together after all!”

“I guess not!”

“I wonder if she and Uncle Cas are making out right now.”

“Why would they do that?”

“You’re right, I bet they’re fucking.”

“Claire, I beg you…”

“Oh, my God, SHUT THE FUCK UP, ALL OF YOU!” Dean shouted.

Anna sat back down on the couch and the apartment went mercifully silent.

“Sir!” the operator on the other end said, clearly scandalized. “This call is being recorded!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Dean muttered. “That wasn’t meant for you. Uh… thank you for the information. Bye.”

He ended the call abruptly, but he really didn’t think the operator was too offended by that.

“Alright, everyone!” he said, standing up and glaring at all the present as much as the poor light allowed him to. “We’re gonna act like adults…”

“We’re not adults,” Claire pointed out.

“I mean, technically, we’re over eighteen,” Jack said.

“Kelly, you’re going to take your offspring home first, because I will murder them otherwise,” Dean said. “I’m going to walk you downstairs with the flashlight. The rest of us are going to stay until the light comes back and we make sure that Cas and Meg aren’t dead in the elevator. I don’t want to hear it!” he added quickly, when both Sam and Gabriel opened their mouths to protest. “Stay and watch over my drunk girlfriend!”

Someone tugged from his sleeve.

“It’s kind of sexy when you’re all bossy,” Anna said.

“Babe… believe me, I hate myself for saying this, but now’s not the time. Please, lie down and go back to sleep.”

“Okay. Oh, hey, if you see Meg on the way down, tell her I’m sorry?”

Dean saw no point in repeating that Meg was likely currently trapped in the elevator and probably wouldn’t really care about Anna’s apologies.

“Sure, I’ll tell her.”

Anna seemed to think this was enough guarantee, because she placed her head on the headrest and closed her eyes.

“Let’s go, you three,” Dean said, grabbing the flashlight.

When they left, Sam and Gabriel were pointedly not looking at each other or talking to one another. Dean couldn’t say he was glad that Sam’s little crush had burned out so fast, but he was a bit relieved. Gabriel was a handful as a brother-in-law already, he couldn’t imagine what it would be like if he was… what would that make him? Brother-in-law square?

Didn’t matter. He would never have to find out and that was just fine by him.

“Hello?” someone called from the elevator at his side.

“Oh, hey, Cas?” Dean called out, stopping to press his ear against the door. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, we’re both fine.”

Meg did not speak to confirm this, but Dean figured she was still too pissed off to really say anything.

“Right. The electric company says it shouldn’t be as long as the last one.”

“Ask them if they’re making out,” Claire wanted to know. Kelly shushed her again.

Dean wasn’t going to ask that, but he knew that Anna would never forgive him if he didn’t at least try to pass her message along to Meg.

“So, uh… it’s Meg there?”

There were a few seconds of silent and then Meg’s voice came, her exasperation so deep that Dean could feel it even through the door.

“What do you want?”

“Just, uh…” For a second, he had the impulse to be very petty and call her a bitch again, just because that was how she was acting, but then he realized that Claire and Jack were totally going to tell on him if he did. Also, Anna had an uncanny knack to remember the things she said while drunk. “Anna is sorry. And so I am. We… we didn’t know.”

There were a few seconds of silence.

“We’re sorry too,” Jack added quickly. “For misjudging you.”

“It’s fine, kid,” Meg said.

Dean was almost petty enough to tell him it was okay, but he bit his tongue. It was a shame Anna wasn’t there to see him how much of an adult he was being right now.

“Also, I filmed everything,” Claire added. “So if you want to bribe Uncle Gabe, we can split the earnings fifty-fifty…”

Kelly grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her away from the elevator.

“Cas, please call us when you get out of there?”

“Will do, thank you.”

Dean walked them all the way down to the door and wondered if he should knock as he walked past the elevator again. He resisted the urge to. He figured he’d said his piece and it was up to Meg if she decided to forgive them or not.

“Where’s Gabriel?” he asked when he returned to the apartment. Sam was sitting on the armchair next to a fast asleep Anna, but Gabriel was nowhere to be seen. Dean knew he hadn’t left the building since he didn’t cross paths with him.

“He called dibs on the bed on the grounds that it was his brother’s place,” Sam explained, with a brief eye roll.

So they were at the stage where Sam hated him enough to not even dedicate a full eye roll to him. Good, good.

“Hey, I’m gonna stay here with Anna until the lights come back, but if you want to take the car and head home…”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll stay with you.”

Dean thanked him with a pat on the shoulder. He sat on the couch next to Anna and she instinctively put her head on his lap, with a groan of satisfaction as she snuggled closer to him. Dean looked down at her and smile. He couldn’t believe they ever though they weren’t perfect for each other. He didn’t care if it was corny and Sam was watching them: he ran his fingers through her hair and she sighed contentedly.

Dean was pretty content, too, despite all the circumstances. So content, in fact, that he could just lean his head on the back of the couch and close his eyes for a few seconds… there was no harm in that… Sam would wake him up if anything happened…

Slowly, Dean fell asleep exactly where he was.

* * *

The silence in the elevator was growing like a mold.

“They’re good kids,” Meg had commented after Jack and Claire apologized to her for something that clearly wasn’t their fault.

“Yes, they are,” Castiel agreed.

And afterwards, they’d said nothing else.

Not because they didn’t have anything to say. In fact, Castiel had so many questions to ask her they were buzzing in his brain like one of his beehives, all of them bouncing in his skull at the same time, so fast he was going to get a headache.

Castiel sat down with his back against the wall, as still as he could, but that did nothing to help with the awkwardness. Meg remained exactly where she was, with her arms crossed over her chest and pointedly not looking at him. But she couldn’t ignore him forever.

Well, technically, she only had to ignore him until the lights came back. And then she would walk out of his life again. Probably forever this time.

He couldn’t let that happen.

“What?” she snapped at him after a while, simply because he wouldn’t stop looking at her.

Castiel picked one of the hundreds of questions running through his mind at random. And if he was honest with himself, he probably chose it because it was the most important one.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Gabriel? About what he’d done?”

“Why didn’t you ask?” she shot back.

Honestly, that was more than a fair point. Castiel had been ruminating on it for a while.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to,” he admitted. “But when I called you, you didn’t pick up.”

“Oh, yeah? Maybe because I was hurt and angry and didn’t want to see or talk to anyone who reminded me of Gabriel?” Meg shot back.

“Alright, yes, that’s… that’s fair enough,” Castiel agreed.

“But you could have pressed Gabriel for details, couldn’t you?”

“It… it wasn’t that simple, Meg,” Castiel said. Even as he spoke, his words sounded hollow to him. “Gabriel had just come out to us. He seemed very insecure about it, about how we’d react, and I didn’t want to push it, to make it harder for him…”

Meg did something that stunned him into silence: she laughed. There was no mirth in that sound, though, just a deep bitterness and hate that she couldn’t really hold any longer.

“Well, that’s just like him, isn’t it?” she asked. “Using something he was vulnerable about to shield himself from criticism of the shitty thing he did.”

Castiel supposed he should be defending Gabriel, but the truth was, he really didn’t think Gabriel deserved a defense when it came to that issue. Meg had every right to be furious and to think the worse of him.

“Still… I didn’t change my number for a couple of years afterwards.”

Her sarcasm was just as sharp as it’d ever been.

“I was afraid,” Castiel confessed.

“Of what?”

“Finding out that Gabriel had told the truth. That you weren’t the person I thought you were. I acted like a coward. You’re right, I should have found out the truth for myself. But I… I didn’t want to think that I had to hate you. I never did, Meg. I never could have. So I just… kept not calling you. And kept avoiding you. And let Gabriel’s claims go unquestioned.”

She was finally looking at him. And maybe it was the weird coloration of the emergency light, but Castiel thought he saw something in her eyes, something that looked a lot like hurt.

“I can’t hate you either,” she said, lowering her voice. “Even now, I’m furious with you, but I know that it’ll pass. And I won’t hate you afterwards.”

“That’s good,” Castiel said, sighing with relief. “Because now you’re in my life again, I don’t want to let you go.”

“Really? ‘Cause I’m that great a friend?”

“Because I love you.”

He didn’t know why those words were coming out now. He’d meant to say them for so long and he’d never found the appropriate time. And trapped in an elevator in the middle of a blackout didn’t seem like the most romantic of settings either, but they were escaping his lips before he could stop them and once they were out there, he found out he didn’t want to take them back.

Not even when they seem to enrage Meg all over again.

“Oh, damn you,” she muttered, and then a little louder: “Damn you! Since _when_?”

That wasn’t the question that Castiel expected her to ask, but he humored her anyway.

“I don’t know. It’s exaggerated to say since I met you, but… since a few months into our friendship? I didn’t mean to… fall in love with you and trust me, I’ve been trying to stop for a very long time, especially since you started dating Gabriel…”

“The only reason I started dating Gabriel was because I thought you weren’t interested in me that way!”

Castiel swallowed the rest of the words he’d thought to say and they went down his throat like acid. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“You never said anything!”

“I was hitting on you from day one!”

“I thought you didn’t do that seriously…?”

“Well, no, not at first but…” Meg stopped and looked at the ceiling, blinking fast. If Castiel didn’t know her better, he would’ve thought she was trying not to cry. “You remember your twenty-third birthday? When we went to have drinks at that karaoke bar Dean liked?”

Castiel frowned. That had been even before she…

Oh, he remembered now. That had been the night where he’d introduced Gabriel and Meg. Then he’d found them kissing in a corner. And then they’d left together.

That had been the night when he’d figured that his and Meg’s friendship would remain exactly that. Forever.

“What are you…?”

“Earlier I’d asked you if you wanted to order pizza and watch a movie instead,” Meg said. “And you said…”

“I said that… Gabriel, Dean and Anna were already waiting for us at the bar,” Castiel remembered. A realization was to dawn on him, even before Meg clarified:

“That was a date. I was asking you on a date because I knew you hated going to bars and singing in public and that would be enough reason for you to accept.”

“I was… I was just trying not to leave them waiting…” Castiel stammered.

“Well, I thought you were letting me down easy,” Meg explained. She wiped her eyes quickly, confirming that she was in fact crying and she didn’t want him to realize this. “And then Gabriel hit on me and I figured… why the hell not? It wasn’t like you were going to turn around and realize…”

“You didn’t make it clear it was a date!”

“I could _not_ have made it any clearer!”

They were shouting now, shouting out of frustration and confusion and things that they should’ve realized a lot sooner.

And suddenly, Castiel began to laugh. He laughed because it was ridiculous to be angry over something like this, he laughed because…

“You’re telling me… we could have been together all of these years if only I had taken you up on your offer for pizza?”

“I don’t see what’s funny about that!” Meg screamed, but her anger was obviously dissolving as well. She breathed in and when she breathed out, a hoarse laughter came along.

It didn’t last long. They could only laugh at something so sad for so long.

“Meg, I am… I am _so_ sorry,” Castiel said.

She said nothing. The laughter that had appeared on her face a moment before had disappeared.

“Meg?” Castiel called again. His stomach went suddenly cold. “Can you forgive me?”

Slowly, she turned her face towards him. And there was nothing in them, nothing like the anger or the amusement from before. Just sadness and exhaustion. She seemed so exhausted all of the sudden.

He knew what she was going to say before she opened her mouth, but it didn’t make it any easier to hear it.

“I don’t know. I… I need some time.”

The red lights turned off, plunging them in a darkness that lasted only a few seconds. When the lights turned on again, the elevator rattled and continued its way down.

But Castiel was thankful for that pause. It gave him a moment to regain his composure.

Because of course Meg needed to think about this. Of course she could decide that she didn’t want to talk to him. It was only fair.

What really wasn’t fair was the impulse he felt to kneel in front of her and beg, beg like his life depended on it, that she didn’t walk out on him again. Now that he knew what could have been, now that he’d experienced the taste of her lips against him… he wasn’t afraid to seem pathetic. He just wanted to grab Meg and hug her, swear to her that he was going to listen to anything Gabriel had to said ever again.

He couldn’t do that, of course. He needed to let Meg made her choice. And if her choice was to never talk to him again…

He moved out of the way quickly so she could roll out of the elevator. She breathed in slowly, a shaky breath that seemed to take forever.

“I forgot my cellphone upstairs. Can you call me an Uber or something?”

He waited with her on the building’s entrance. The silence between them was a thick mantle they couldn’t shake.

“I’ll… message you on Facebook so we can meet up,” Meg said. Castiel barely had time to get his hopes up before she clarified: “So you can give me my phone back.”

“Oh.” He forced himself to try not to sound disappointed. “Of course.”

She didn’t ask him to, but she didn’t turn him down when the car arrived and he held her hand so she could move to the passenger seat. The driver folded her chair and placed it on the trunk. In the time it took him to do that, Castiel was trying to think of something to say, something that would change the turn this night had taken, something that would keep her with him.

He couldn’t come up with anything on time.

Meg gave him one last look through the window.

“Well… goodbye, Castiel.”

Castiel. Not Clarence. Not even Cas.

He just waved at her because he didn’t think he could speak. After they drove away, he sat down on the empty street. The air still smelled like rain and wet asphalt. Most of the buildings around him were dark and silent, except for a few lights in the windows, from people who couldn’t sleep despite the late hour.

He supposed he had to get up and go back to his apartment, to the remains of the party and the handful of people that hanged around, but he didn’t know if he could face them.

Never in his life he’d felt lonelier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! So, I had marked this as having 18 chapters, but a friend of mine got me to reconsider the ending, so I'm currently reworking it to make it better. I don't know if that might add an extra chapter or not, but we'll see. For now, I hope you enjoyed this one!


	18. Chapter 18

Castiel didn’t have to say anything when he finally returned. Gabriel guessed it even before he opened his mouth.

“Meg, uh… she went home.”

Gabriel noticed the way that Sam and Dean exchanged a look.

“Okay,” Dean said. “Uh… we’ve cleaned up a bit and washed the dishes.”

“Thank you.”

“Is there anything else you’ll need?” Sam asked.

If Cas’ face was any indication, he was going to need someone to drive him to a place where they would keep him under suicide watch for the next three days.

Gabriel thought about making that joke out loud, but didn’t. One of the abilities he acquired over his career was to read the room, and even without it, he could tell he wasn’t the most popular guy there right now.

“I think I can handle it from here,” Castiel said.

“Okay. We’ll get out of your hair, then.”

Dean turned back to shake Anna awake. Gabriel heard her muttered something about the lights being too bright, but he was really focused on what Sam and Castiel were doing.

“I, uh… I’m really sorry if we… if _I_ contributed to tonight’s… unpleasantness,” Sam said.

Castiel looked up at him, blinking in the way he did when he had no idea what the other person was talking about. Gabriel wanted to scream if Sam was also going to apologize to his mom for sleeping with him, but he bit his tongue.

“It’s okay, Sam.”

Dean half-dragged, half-brought Anna closer to them.

“Bye, Cas.”

“Yeah, bye,” Anna mumbled. “I’ll… do that thing with the phone tomorrow.”

“Call me?”

“That.”

And with that, they were gone. Gabriel kept his eyes fixed on the back of Sam’s head until the door closed behind them. He didn’t even turn to glance at him, as if Gabriel had suddenly become a non-entity.

But as much as that hurt, the way Castiel glared at him the second they were alone was much, much worse.

Someone who didn’t know Castiel all that well could’ve thought he didn’t get angry and they would’ve been partially right. It had taken Gabriel years and a lot of pranks to finally find the limit of Castiel’s patience, but once he did, he swore to himself he would never let it get that far again. The thing about people as calm as Castiel was when they did get angry, it was a terrible thing to witness.

And Gabriel knew he’d screwed up beyond every conceivable limit. It took every ounce of his self-control not to shit his pants in terror under his brother’s blazing eyes.

“Well,” Gabriel said, trying to force out a smile. “That was… that was some party, huh?”

Castiel didn’t smile back. Of course he didn’t. He simply huffed and shook his head.

“You can take the couch, if you don’t want to go home,” he said and turned his back on Gabriel as if he was planning on just disappearing inside of his room.

“Wait, that’s it?” Gabriel asked. “That’s all you have to say to me?”

He regretted it immediately. He should have just taken the out when Castiel had offered it to him and ran away.

But then again, a part of him didn’t think he deserved to get off the hook that easily.

Castiel breathed in deeply and turned to look at him again.

“What am I supposed to say, Gabriel?” he asked, sounding more disappointed than angry, which was somehow even worse. “What can I possibly say? That what you did was wrong, that it was hurtful? You already know that.”

He did, but that didn’t mean Castiel got to just dismiss it like that.

“Okay, listen…”

“I don’t… I don’t want to,” Castiel interrupted him, putting a hand up as if to physically stopping him from saying another word. “I don’t want to listen to anything you have to say. Take the couch or leave.”

“Oh, come on!” Gabriel groaned. “Don’t fucking play at that! Don’t pretend like you’re over it!”

“I’m not, I just…”

Castiel stopped talking for a second and closed his eyes. He placed his hands in his temples and left them there. He breathed in noisily for a few seconds and Gabriel realized, with a startle, that what he was seeing was not his brother being furious. It was much worse than that.

He was trying not to burst into tears.

“Oh, no.” Gabriel flinched. “No. no. Cas… I’m sorry, I… oh, God. I didn’t mean for this to happen!”

“Which part?” Castiel asked. “The part where you broke Meg’s heart? The part where your lies drove a wedge between us?”

“Any of it!” Gabriel said, waving his hands. “I didn’t mean for any of it!”

“Well, it happened,” Castiel said. “After so many years of pining and wondering what could have been, I finally got Meg back in my life, only to lose her again because of what you did!” He stopped and shook his head. “Did you know? That I was in love with her, did you know?”

Gabriel swallowed, because there wasn’t an answer to that question that didn’t make him seem like a jackass.

Then again, he was already an irredeemable ass in the eyes of everyone who’d heard what Meg had said, so…

“I… I suspected you had a thing for her,” he admitted. “But I thought you were going to get over it at some point.”

“I didn’t.”

Gabriel flinched again. Seriously? After all that time?

Castiel headed for his room, but Gabriel wasn’t going to just let go of this. He didn’t know what masochistic impulse drove him to pick up a fight with Castiel. Maybe he felt like he needed to be punished for his actions. Or maybe he just thought that if he pushed hard enough and Castiel got angry at him enough, he would get over it sooner and everything could go back to normal.

The rational part of his mind, of course, told him that nothing was going to go back to the way it was before. It simply couldn’t.

But that didn’t stop him.

“Oh, no, don’t walk away from this!” Gabriel said. He almost sprinted to get ahead of Castiel and stood in front of him, blocking his way into the bedroom. “You can’t blame me for everything! Yes, I was stupid and I lied, but it’s not my fault that Meg chose me! If you wanted her to be with you, you could have got your head out of your ass and asked her out before I did! And if you wanted to talk to her all of this years, you could have done that too and found out what a dick I was way sooner than you did! That’s on you, little brother!”

The pain in Castiel’s eyes was so deep that Gabriel regretted having blown at him like that.

“Yes,” Castiel said, slowly. “I know.”

He practically pushed Gabriel aside and went to sit on the bed. His shoulders were slumped and his gaze down, the very image of a man defeated.

“And now I’ve lost my last chance with her.” He sighed. “It’s only fair. I had too many and I wasted them all.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Gabriel said. He tried to sound light, but it didn’t really work.

Castiel raised his eyes at him.

“You wouldn’t understand, Gabriel. You were never in love with her. I don’t think you even know what that is like.”

Sam’s face, his smile, the memory of his hands on Gabriel’s body, flashed through his mind.

Gabriel closed his eyes and forced himself to shut it out. No, that was just ridiculous. He couldn’t be in love with someone he’d only known for like, a day.

“Okay, point, I didn’t _love_ Meg,” he admitted. “But I did care about her. I cared enough to pretend to be someone I wasn’t…”

“You didn’t do that for her,” Castiel said, point blank.

And Gabriel really couldn’t argue with that. Not because he didn’t want to. He just couldn’t come up with an argument that would convince Castiel otherwise.

Not that it mattered. Cas would know he was just bullshitting.

Gabriel hated this. He knew, he’d always known, that there was an ugliness inside him. That he was a selfish, destructive, petty little man, but he’d been able to hide it behind jokes and humor, behind the pretense that nothing ever got to him. He didn’t need people to like him or love him. He couldn’t handle the weight of being responsible for someone else’s feelings, be them good or bad, so he’d always shifted them, he’d always deflected, he’d always lied.

Meg had torn that pretense down for all to see. And he had no idea how to fix it.

“Cas…”

“I’m tired, Gabriel,” Castiel interrupted him. “I just… I need some sleep. So, just… do whatever you want, but please, leave me alone.”

Gabriel doubted that Castiel was going to sleep at all, but he couldn’t just refuse such a desperate plea.

“Okay,” he mumbled, stepping away. He swallowed and looked at the ceiling for a moment. “Just… one last question, though. Do you hate me?”

He asked it fast, because he knew he’d regret even thinking it if he didn’t.

“You’re my brother,” Castiel said, simply.

“That’s not really an answer.”

“It’s the only answer I can give you right now. Please…”

Gabriel didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t know if he should beg for forgiveness or accept that it was just not going to happen for him. So, instead, he stepped back out of the room.

“Okay,” he muttered. “I’ll just… I’ll get out of your hair, then.”

Castiel said nothing. He simply stood up and close the door on Gabriel’s face.

He stayed right where he was. He also felt tired. He couldn’t explain why, exactly. He’d always been a night owl. For him, this late in the evening was still early, but for some reason, it felt like his entire body was breaking down under some sort of pressure, and all he really wanted to was sleep.

Then again, his conscience, now that it had been kicked awake after years of lying dormant, was not going to let him get away with that.

He could still walk away. Go somewhere. He knew exactly what spots were still open, where the party was still going until the break of dawn. Nothing was stopping him from going to those places. Finding a cute guy, drinking until he passed out somewhere. That was the way he always dealt with things when something went wrong. Just straight denial and hedonism. Why mess with a winning formula?

He still remained outside of his brother’s door for a very long time. He felt like he had something to say to him, something that would redeem him, something that would make Castiel not hate him.

In the end, though, he turned around and walked out of the apartment as quietly as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for the delay! I had a couple of birthdays and big bangs coming up and had to prioritize those before I finished reworking the ending to this. Anyway, hope you all enjoy it!


	19. Chapter 19

Anna woke up the day after the party feeling like a truck had ran her over. Every single inch of her body ached, her breath smelled like she’d eaten something rotten the night before (which meant she had gone to bed without at the very least brushing her teeth) and there was a vindictive gnome hammering inside of her skull.

Goddammit, how much had she drunk?

She slowly opened her eyes, ready to get them assaulted by the light of day, but someone (Dean, most likely) had drawn the blinders. She blinked at the shadows around her and slowly sat up on the bed. She was wearing one of Dean’s old shirts as a pajama and she was fairly certain that the rest of her clothes had ended in the laundry basket. At least she didn’t feel nauseous. There was an aspirin and a big glass of water on the night table. She downed both this, with an immense feeling of gratitude warming her up.

Five minutes later, she was on her knees in the bathroom, hugging the toilet and puking it back out. Along with all the half-digested sausage rolls, pizza, and… did she even have some cake? She honestly couldn’t remember, but the bitter taste in her mouth was not going to be improved by literally anything, so she guessed it didn’t really matter.

She regretted every single life decision that had led her to existing that morning.

There was some knocking on the door.

“Anna?” Dean asked from the other side. “Are you alive?”

“Barely,” Anna groaned.

“Okay. I’m making bacon, do you think you can handle that, angel?”

“Yeah.” Anna covered her mouth to burp. “I’ll… I’ll have a shower and we’ll see.”

“Gotcha.”

He walked away without adding anything else.

It did nothing to alleviate the feeling of guilt that Anna felt deep in her gut. The last thing she remembered vividly before she started to get steadily drunk was the fight they’d had in the kitchen. Afterwards, there were bits and pieces, some more people shouting or mocking something. She was fairly certain that she’d made a fool of herself and she was not ready to face that possibility.

She was going to have to, anyway.

As the water drummed on her aching head, Anna distracted herself from all the annoyances of her hungover by preparing a mental speech. Of things she needed to tell to Dean, of things he could possibly answer to those. It was absolutely necessary for her to recover control of that whole situation.

It was absolutely necessary for her to let Dean know she hadn’t meant what she’d said.

Or not the way he’d taken it, at least. Dammit, why couldn’t he just read her mind and see everything that was inside it? That way she wouldn’t have to actually explain it.

She heard the sizzle of the bacon and the clatter of pans when she came out of the bathroom, wrapped up in her favorite bathrobe, that had actually been Dean’s at some point. The kitchen looked ridiculously small with both Winchesters in it, especially as they knocked past each other on purpose and bickered incessantly.

“… it’s healthier for you, Dean!”

“I can deal with you liking dudes, little brother, but if you put that shit on the meat man’s pan…”

“I’m sure that doesn’t mean what you think it means…”

“Good morning,” Anna said, raising her voice.

The brothers stopped talking immediately and stared at her a little startled, as if they had forgotten she was in the house even though Dean had talked to her not ten minutes ago. Anna was sure she had just walked in on a conversation she wasn’t meant to hear, so she tried to pretend like she hadn’t heard anything about Sam and his preferences.

Not that they were a big secret, anyway, but if he hadn’t brought them up, she wasn’t going to.

She sat down on the isle and gave the calmest smile she could muster.

“So… what’s for breakfast?” she asked.

“Bacon,” Dean said, immediately recovering his restless energy and getting back to the pan. “Actual bacon. Like, from a pig. Not that vegan shit which contains who knows what…”

“You could literally know what it has if you read the package…”

“No one has time for that! I have to cook and feed the two of you!”

Sam started arguing that they were literally adults, that they could have cooked just as well for themselves, and despite how shitty she still felt, Anna had to laugh. She suspected the brothers were putting up a front with their pointless bickering to avoid talking about what had happened the night before, she was thankful for that little mercy.

She was even thankful when Sam declared that Dean was entirely unreasonable and walked out of the kitchen carrying his mug of coffee.

“Yeah, run away! You know I’m right!” Dean shouted at him. Sam flipped him off as he crossed the door and Dean gasped. “Can you believe this guy?”

“I believe you were both raised by the same people, yes.”

Dean huffed and turned his back on her, only to turn around with a plate that was filled to the brim with bacon and scrambled eggs.

“Well, I’ll give you his ration if you want. Because I’m not throwing away all this food.”

Anna stared down at her breakfast and even though she knew it was cooked to perfection, just the way she liked it, because Dean knew exactly how she liked it… she felt her stomach twisting up in a knot.

“I, uh… I don’t know if I’m going to be able to eat all of that.”

“That’s okay. I’ll eat it for you.”

And she had no idea why, but it was like those simple words took out the pin of the grenade that was her entire existence at that point. Her throat closed and her eyes became itchy with tears. She tried to take a deep breath to dispel all of that, but all that came out of her mouth when she opened it was a shaky sob.

“Hey, no.” Dean walked around the isle and threw his arms around her. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I said, but I’m sorry…”

“You’re always so good to me!” Anna said. She hid her head on his stomach, on his old band shirt that was more grey than black by that point. The tears were flowing now and she wasn’t sure how much of what she was saying Dean understood, but she had to say it anyway: “Even you I was such a bitch to you last night…!”

“You weren’t a bitch,” he assured her, running his fingers through her hair. “I mean, you had your moments, but…”

“I do want to marry you!” she sobbed. “I’m sorry, I do want that! It’s just that I know you’ve been meaning to ask and I freaked out because we don’t have enough money and then Mervin passed me up for the promotion…!”

“What? Wait a second.” Dean gently pushed her by the shoulders so she would be looking at his face. “How do you know? Who told you?”

It took Anna a couple of minutes to made him understand that no one had told her, that she’d just found the ring by mere chance. Dean looked slightly humiliated.

“Goddammit.”

“I’m sorry,” Anna repeated, sniffling. “I just… I don’t know if we can do it right now…”

“Anna.” Dean’s serious tone managed to make her stop sobbing for a few seconds. She watched in astonished silence as he slowly went down on his knees in front of her, still cupping her face in her hands. “Listen to me. I told you, I don’t need any of that. We could go to Vegas and get married tomorrow and I’d be the happiest man on Earth.”

Anna opened her mouth but Dean put a finger on her lips to prevent her from talking.

“But I know having a big great wedding and buying a house and all that stuff is important to _you_,” he continued. “And I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you. I don’t want you to feel like I’m growing impatient and you need to work yourself to the bone or give up entirely because we’re not meeting my timeline. So… I promise to work more on my patience if you promise to work less on… everything. Does that make sense?”

Anna had to swallow a couple of times before she could articulate a word.

“It makes a lot of sense.”

Dean smiled at her and stood up. His arms were always strong around her, the smell of grease and cologne on his shirt was familiar and comforting. It smelled like home. Anna sank her face on it and breathed in deeply.

He always knew exactly what to say to make things feel better.

Dean pulled away only to lean down, his lips parted ready to kiss her…

The doorbell rang, startling them both.

“Are you kidding me?” Dean groaned.

“I’ll get it!” Sam said, from somewhere too close to the door to pretend that he hadn’t been listening to their conversation.

Dean sighed and still kissed her, but the moment really was gone. Anna blew her nose on the napkins and grabbed a fork to start eating while Dean poured himself some coffee…

“Don’t flatter yourself. I came to see my sister.”

Both Anna and Dean froze on what they were doing and exchanged a quick, confused look. They didn’t have time to do more than that before Gabriel burst into the kitchen like a hurricane.

“Hello, Anna!” he said, speaking way too loud for Anna’s nerves. “How’s the hungover treating you?”

“What are you doing here?” Anna asked, narrowing his eyes. She still had a headache and was barely recovering from a major emotional outburst, she really wasn’t in the mood to deal with her brother right now.

“What, you’re going to treat me like a pariah now?” Gabriel sat down next to her on the isle, pulled her plate closer to him and picked up her fort. “That hurts my feelings, you know?”

“Why would I treat you like a pariah?” Anna asked, frowning as Gabriel downed what was supposed to be her breakfast. She had the sudden uncomfortable feeling that she was forgetting something very important.

“Are you kidding me? This was a whole thing last night!” Dean said.

Anna kept staring at him until he realized she had a bad case of alcohol-infused amnesia.

“He cheated on Meg!” he explained.

“What?” Anna exclaimed.

“And then he lied about it,” Sam added.

“What?!”

“Oh, yeah, it was like a whole thing,” Gabriel said, with a shrug, as if the Winchesters’ outrage was no more annoying to him than a mosquito. “Ask Claire to send you the video.”

“There’s video?”

“Listen, I came to ask you a favor,” Gabriel said, brushing aside all of Anna’s astonishment and unanswered questions. “I need to know how Cas contacted Meg.”

“Wait, what?” Sam asked.

“Why?” Dean frowned.

“Because I want to contact her too, of course.”

Anna was relieved she wasn’t the only one completely confused about this.

“Gabriel… are you sure this is a sound idea?”

“Absolutely not. She might kill me,” Gabriel said and pushed another piece of bacon into his mouth as if none of that affected him. “But I need to talk to her anyway.”

Anna stopped for a second to look at him. He kept on eating… devouring the food, in fact. He was pale, there were dark circles under his eyes and he was talking far too fast, almost manically.

“Did you sleep last night?”

“Not a wink!” Gabriel admitted, almost happily. “I went for a long, long walk and I thought long and hard about what I had done. And then I realized, I could fix it!”

“How exactly are you planning to fix it?” Anna asked, cringing at the very idea.

“It’s a surprise…”

“Gabriel…”

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore! Hey, Dean-o, can I have some of that coffee?”

“Hell no,” Dean said and Anna was so very glad they were on the same page about that. “You sound like you already had an entire pot and I don’t want you to have a heart attack in my apartment.”

“You’re no fun…”

“Listen, Gabriel… I’m sure your idea is… good,” Anna said, hesitantly. She definitely did not want to encourage him to pursue, if only because Gabriel’s ideas were rarely “good”. “But are you sure it’s the correct way to go about this?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Gabriel stated.

“I mean, Meg might not want to talk to you after… all of that…”

“Oh, no, yeah, she’s definitely not gonna want to talk to you,” Sam said.

“She might outright murder you,” Dean said, and calmly took a sip from his mug. “And frankly, it’s not like we could blame her…”

“Guys, have some faith,” Gabriel said, as if he was talking about a business venture he was trying to convince them to undertake with him. “It’s gonna be fine by the end of it. You’ll see.”

Anna looked at Dean, who looked at Sam, who shrugged. Gabriel rolled their eyes at all of them.

“Well, if you’re not going to help me, guess I don’t have to keep wasting my time with you…”

He stood up… and promptly had to hang on to the edge of the isle. Anna could sympathize: it was obvious that even if he hadn’t drunk as much as her, any sudden movement was going to make the blood rush to his head way too fast and make him off balance.

Gabriel either was in condition to understand this or his obsession with contacting Meg was so strong that he was going to try and push through it like it was nothing.

“Welp, gotta go…”

He took a step and stumbled with his own feet. His body leaned forwards and Anna was certain she was going to watch him fall right on the floor…

Sam caught him by the arm.

“Maybe you should rest first,” he suggested.

“I don’t need rest,” Gabriel said, trying to slip out of Sam’s grasp. “I need to… I need to fix it. I need Cas to forgive me.”

Gabriel wore a mask. Anna knew he did, because she did the same thing too. Hers was of the adult, responsible career woman who had it all under control. His was that of the funny man that ever let anything get him.

Last night’s party had got both their masks to slip. And what Anna saw underneath’s Gabriel was nothing short of heartbreaking.

She stood up, but it seemed like Sam had the issue handled.

“I think Cas is still going to be mad at you after you’ve slept a while,” he said, as he guided Gabriel outside of the kitchen and into the living room. “You’ll have plenty of time to get him to forgive you.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes.” Sam got Gabriel to the couch and gently pushed him down on it. “So just lay down there and relax for a bit.”

“Umh… really like hearing those words coming out of your mouth…” Gabriel mumbled.

Anna thought he was going to jump back up, but to her surprise, he listened to Sam and laid his hear down on Sam’s pillow. What surprised him the most was how Sam gently took off Gabriel’s shoes and even tucked him in with a cover. She knew Sam was super nice and gentle with everybody, but there was a level of intimacy to those gestures…

“Yeah, that’s a whole other thing,” Dean said, as if he guessed what she was thinking about. “You missed out a lot last night.”

“I’m never drinking again,” Anna decided.


	20. Chapter 20

Sleep was for the weak. Or it made people weak, one of the two. Gabriel sat up on the couch suddenly, blinking and trying to figure out where the hell he was. He had left Castiel’s apartment and then wondered the streets for a while…

There was a picture of Dean and Anna sitting on the hood of Dean’s Impala on the coffee table. So he was at their apartment. How did he end up there? Oh, right, he’d gone to see if Anna knew a way to contact Meg and she had been super unhelpful about the whole thing.

“Oh, good,” Anna said, coming out of the kitchen. She had a steaming cup of coffee in her hand that she tentatively extended towards Gabriel. “I was just about to shake you.”

“What time is it?” Gabriel asked, disoriented. He felt like he’d slept for an entire month.

“It’s five in the afternoon. Dean and I have to go drop Sam at the airport.”

“Oh,” Gabriel mumbled. Then, as the meaning of Anna’s words hit him, he repeated a little louder: “_Oh_.”

Anna looked down at him with unmistakable pity. So, Dean must have caught her up to everything that had happened.

“You want to come with us?” she offered. “To say goodbye to him?”

Gabriel drank from the coffee mug that Anna had offered him. It tasted like shit, or maybe it was his own bitterness fucking up with the flavor. He really couldn’t tell at that point.

“No, it’s fine. I suck at those.”

“Well, I was really hoping to say goodbye to you.”

Gabriel startled so much that he almost spilled the coffee on himself. Sam stood a few steps away from the couch, holding onto his wheeled suitcase. Dean was behind him, already in his leather jacket and impatiently jingling the keys to his car in his hand. Despite that clear signal that this was not the best moment for it, Sam turned around to him and said:

“Can you guys give us five minutes?”

“I wish we could, Sam, but we’re already on a tight schedule…”

Anna stood up, grabbed him by the arm and pulled towards the door, ignoring his protests as she said:

“We’ll wait for you downstairs. Gabe, you can stay as long as you need to.”

Gabriel didn’t know whether to be thankful for his sister or not. He really didn’t know what to say or how to react when Sam sat right beside him, over the messy covers that had been on him until a moment before that.

“So…” he started anyway. “Heading back to California?”

“Yes,” Sam said, without adding anything else.

“Well, good luck to you there.”

Gabriel drank up the rest of his coffee, wincing at the heat and the flavor, but he was so ready to escape this apartment right now that he couldn’t really care less. He couldn’t handle Sam being so earnest and handsome around him right now. It was simply not fair. He put the mug on the coffee table, but before he could stand up, a big warm hand came to rest on his knee.

“Gabe, I know things are… awkward right now…”

“Uh, understatement of the century?” Gabriel replied, staring at Sam. What did he want? Why did he insist on talking to him after he made it very clear that he wanted to do nothing with him anymore? Was he just trying to twist the knife or…?

Sam raised a finger for him to stop talking.

“I don’t know how important this is to you,” he continued. “But I just… I need you to know that yes, what you did was shitty. But also you were very young and in a very vulnerable place. And you’re not that person anymore.”

Gabriel appreciated him saying that. He really did, because last night when they’d left Castiel’s place, he was sure everyone and their mother hated him. He wasn’t about to pretend like it wasn’t earned, but it was still nice to hear it.

“I don’t know how much of that you mean, but thanks…”

“I mean all of it.”

Of course he did. Because he was always so earnest and so honest and Gabriel was a complete and utter idiot. Guys like Sam, people like Sam… there were very few of them in the day and Gabriel had been lucky Sam had decided to give him the time of day at all.

He couldn’t say that without sounding like a love-struck idiot, so he went for self-deprecation instead.

“Yeah, whatever I did to give you the impression that I’m better now…”

“You’re trying to fix it,” Sam said, as if it really was that obvious and that simple. “I think that’s important. Even though I’m not sure you can, because Dean is right and Meg might shoot you if you try to speak to her.”

“Yeah, well.” Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll make sure to wear a bulletproof vest.”

It was not his best joke, but Sam chuckled anyway.

“Facebook,” he said.

“What?”

“Meg said she and Castiel reconnected through Facebook,” Sam explained. “So maybe you can find her there.”

Now that he’d mentioned it, it was true that Castiel had mentioned something about that. But if he tried to speak to Meg through his account, he was sure he was going to get nothing but a sudden block. Wait, Claire had helped Castiel set it up, so maybe…?

His mind was so busy machinating that he barely noticed it when Sam leaned over closer to him, right up until the point his lips graze the edge of his mouth. Gabriel shuddered and stared at him, stunned.

“I have to go,” Sam said, with a smile that was almost apologetic.

“Right.”

Gabriel watched him standing up, he watched him walking towards his suitcase and he felt like a complete idiot. Was this what Castiel had felt like when he’d seen him and Meg hit it off? Like something wonderful and rare was slipping through his fingers and there was really nothing he could do to stop it? He had to say something. _Anything._

“You know, if you’re ever back in town, you can… call me up. We can go for drinks or something.”

“I don’t have your number,” Sam said, with a chuckle. “You refused to give it to me, remember?”

“Oh. Well… we’ll see each other at Dean and Anna’s wedding, then.”

“Very likely.”

And then there was nothing more they could say. Sam waved at him and headed for the door, gently closing it behind him.

Gabriel entertained the thought of running after him. Then he entertained the thought of getting a taxi, waving a hundred-dollar bill in front of the driver’s face so he would take him to the airport fast enough that he could get there before Sam had gone through the security gate. Or even ran past the gate and caught up with him right before he boarded the plane, like the worst kind of cheesy rom-com ever, to give him a proper goodbye kiss. And his number. And the promise that this was not going to be the end of their story.

But then again, that scenario would end with him tasered by the TSA agents. Also, that was creepy. Wasn’t it creepy to run after a guy that had made it very clear that was the end of the line?

Well, fuck. It was only fair that he had to wonder what it could have been now. Karma truly was a bitch.

He didn’t have time to think about that. If he really wanted to live up to Sam’s belief that he was a better person than he had been in his twenties, he needed to step the fuck up. So after he was done putting away the fantasies of something that wasn’t likely to come true, he stood up and grabbed his phone.

“Hello, Claire, are you busy right now?” he asked when his nephew picked up the phone. He didn’t wait for the answer before he added. “I need you to give me Castiel’s Facebook password.”

“What, why?” Claire asked, and that was a completely fair question that Gabriel wasn’t ready to answer.

“Do it or I’ll tell your mom that you and Jack were trying to sneak alcohol out of the party.”

“Did you actually see is us doing that?”

God, it was good thing that she was not going to become a lawyer.

“Claire, I swear…”

“Look, blackmail’s going to get you nowhere,” Claire said. “Make me an offer I can’t refuse.”

Gabriel put the phone down for two seconds, breathing in deeply. It was a good thing she wasn’t going to become a mob boss, either.

“I’ll drive you to and from whatever party you need me to drive you to once you and Jack live on campus,” he offered. “No matter the hour. And I’ll tell no one about anything I see.”

“Yeah, we can ask Uncle Cas to do that and he’ll do it out of the goodness of his heart,” Claire pointed out, not unfairly. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”

Gabriel rubbed his eyes. He thought about telling her that if she kept being a juvenile delinquent she was going to end in jail like her dad, but then again, Claire was a baby lesbian that had watched every season of Orange Is The New Black. She knew no fear.

He sighed and put the phone back up to his ear.

“I know a guy that can get you a fake ID.”

“Now we’re talking!” Claire said, clearly delighted. “Do you have a pen?”


	21. Chapter 21

Meg stirred her drink, watching the stage closely. It had been a while since she had been to one of Gabriel’s sets. They were shorter then, only allowing him ten or fifteen minutes in the free open mic nights in the clubs they used to frequent. Even then, she hadn’t gone to too many after she started working full time and taking all the shifts she could in order to make ends meet.

She had to admit, he’d improved a lot since then. He was far more confident and his jokes landed better. People laughed and even cheered at some of his sharpest observations. Most of his set revolved around his family life and how crazy it was. Meg wondered if he had retired the story about the crazy homophobic ex-girlfriend for good or if he’d just chosen not to tell it because she was there.

She’d Googled it. She couldn’t help it. The entire week, the events of the party had been going through her head, one by one. Castiel’s words, his laughter, how sad his face had looked when she’d said goodbye to him. And also Gabriel and what he’d said to everybody. She just couldn’t understand how they’d got there, how he was able to lie to everybody.

So, she’d Googled him and his set. It took him like thirty seconds to find one of his sets on YouTube. It was blurry, obviously taken from a phone, so she couldn’t really deduce how long ago this had been. The audio quality was also bad, so she’d had to turn the volume up to understand what was being said.

“… my girlfriend at the time – yes, I had a girlfriend. I used to think I was straight. I was dumb. I should have realized it when I started using more hair products than she did, but I tried to pass it off as some sort of masculine pride thing. _‘I just don’t want to be bald by the time I’m forty, honey. Yes, I am indeed using your shampoo. Is it gay to like the scent of lavender on your luscious locks?’_ Turns out it’s very gay and I am very, very gay.”

The crowd in the video chuckled at that, not as rapturously as the live thing, but still.

“Anyway, she did not like it one bit when I came out. It was bad, guys, I’m not going to lie to you…”

She’d stopped the video at that point, feeling slightly nauseous. She understood taking some creative liberties when telling a story to make it funnier, but the way he outright lied about her…

“… anyway, that brother is now in jail,” Gabriel concluded.

Meg clapped along with the rest of the public in the bar, although she was not too sure what the joke had been or if it had really been that funny at all. She had been too busy feeling nervous about what would happen once Gabriel’s act was over.

And now the time had come. He waved at the people, threw some kisses towards the crowd. A true showman, soaking up the adoration of his fans. He was where he’d always wanted to be.

Meg hoped that was enough for him.

“Thank you, everybody! I’ll be here next week too, tip your waiters!”

He walked down the stage, shaking hands and accepting pats in the back from people around him. He smiled and nodded, clearly in his element, before he turned around and scanned the crowd. She had chosen a table for one in a lonely corner, a place where she couldn’t be seen from the stage. She kept sipping from her drink, without waving or making any gesture towards Gabriel so he would spot her.

He still did, though. He abruptly ended the conversation he was waving with some guy and made his way through the table, stopping only briefly to accept some congratulations and more handshakes.

It was a mystery that with as much charisma as he had, he still hadn’t landed some big gig in Hollywood or a Netflix special. Though, that might have been worse, because then Meg would have had to see his face at the most unexpected times.

As things were, she had time to breath in deeply and mentally prepare for when he approached her table.

“Well, hello, there!” he said, leaning over closer to her. “Fancy seeing you here! After you left the message my brother sent you on ‘Seen’…”

Meg simply glared at him until his smile faltered.

“Okay, cards on the table,” Gabriel said. He pulled a chair from an empty table nearby and sat in front of her. “I was the one who sent you the message from Castiel’s account.”

“I know,” Meg said, crooking an eyebrow. “I suspected it when you called me ‘girl’ and ‘babe’. And also when you invited me to come to a bar that had no ramps or accessible entrances.”

“Oh.” Gabriel winced at the accusation. “How did you get in, then?”

“Cut to the chase, Gabe,” Meg said, annoyed. “Why did you ask me to come here?”

Gabriel took his sweet time to answer that simple question. He signaled a waitress to bring him a drink first and then crossed his fingers on the table.

“Okay. First of all, let me just say, I… was a shitty boyfriend.”

Meg blinked at him.

“Really? I had no idea…”

“Let me just…” He raised a finger. “I have a whole speech prepared for this. Let me just spew it and if afterwards you still want to call me names and dramatically throw your drink in my face, you’re welcome to.”

“You do realize I don’t owe you that, right? I don’t owe you anything.”

“I know.” Gabriel looked up at her and it was amazing how much he could still look like a kicked puppy when he wanted to. “But you came here. You could have just as easily not done that. I think it’s because you want to hear what I have to say.”

Meg bit the inside of her cheek. He had a point there. The message was so unlike Cas that it hadn’t fooled her for a second, but she’d still got herself to the bar.

“You have ten minutes.”

Gabriel sighed. He looked almost relieved that she’d said that.

“Okay, well… like I said, I was a shitty boyfriend. Turns out that when you’ve grown in a religion that tells you that being gay is the evilest thing you could do, that messes with your head even if you end up an atheist. So, I was in denial… about a lot of things, really. I was performing, doing what was expected of me: flirting with a lot of women, forcing myself to sleep with them. It never lasted because deep down I knew none of them could make me happy.” He made a pause and looked up at her. “And then I met you.”

The waitress came back with his drank and left it in front of him. Gabriel downed the whiskey like it was no big deal, while Meg kept watching him closely, not saying a word. A lot of what he was saying, she suspected it already, but the next words that came out of his mouth surprised her:

“You were different. You were fun, and amazing, and you got me in ways that I didn’t think you would. We just seemed to be in the same wavelength. I did care for you, Meg. Deeply. To the point I sometimes wish I had been different and I could have been the guy you needed me to be. You were my friend, my partner in crime, and I wish I could have been happy with what we had.”

Meg opened her mouth and closed it again. She was at a loss for what to say.

“You never said anything like that when we were together,” she pointed out in the end.

“Yeah, turns out the repression and the shame come with a lot of emotional constipation,” Gabriel said. He used his joking tone, but Meg didn’t laugh. None of this was funny and she was glad that Gabriel seemed to be at least attempting to take it seriously. “Anyway, then it got serious. We moved in together, you got your degree, you started talking about the future… and suddenly I saw my entire life laid out in front of me, decades pretending to be someone I was not…”

“How many men were there?” she asked. She didn’t know why she asked that. It wasn’t going to help her knowing it. She should be over it, but curiosity still got the best of her.

“Does it matter?” Gabriel asked, shrinking a little in his chair.

Meg downed the rest of her drink and then looked down at it, pensively.

“It shouldn’t. But it does.”

Gabriel looked down at his drink.

“To be quiet frank, I… I don’t know. I kept telling myself I was going to stop, that after the next guy I was going to go home to you and be Happy Straight Gabriel and be satisfied with that. But every time you went out on your shift and Anna and Cas were away and… when there was no one in front of me to pretend that I didn’t want what I wanted, I saw no reason to keep up the act.”

“That was not what I asked.”

Gabriel sighed, finished the rest of his drink and waved at the waitress to bring him another. He didn’t speak again until she’d filled up his glass and walked away from their table.

“There were a lot of guys,” he confessed, finally. “I don’t have an exact number, but… there were a lot. I don’t know how you tracked… Max, was it? Because I sometimes didn’t even ask their names. I was always very careful, though. I didn’t want you to catch something because of what I was doing.”

“How considerate of you.”

He had the decency to look guilty, but it wasn’t as satisfying as Meg thought it would be all those times she had fantasized with seeing him again and screaming exactly what she thought of him. In fact, there was no satisfaction whatsoever in this conversation.

She sighed and looked up.

“I thought I was over it. Over the heartbreak and the disillusionment and whatnot. When I saw you at the party again, I felt… nothing. Like you had meant something to me a long time ago, but it didn’t matter now.”

“You ran over my toes with your chair,” Gabriel pointed out. Meg tilted her head. “Okay, yeah, I had that one coming.”

“Then I found out you’d lied to everyone and… I think I hate you all over again now.”

“You know what? That’s completely fair,” Gabriel said. “My therapist says I was deflecting my guilt. I think what she meant to say was that I acted like a coward little bitch.”

“Therapist?” Meg repeated, surprised.

“Yeah… turns out the not being able to feel happy? That’s the depression.”

Meg blinked at him, not sure how to react to the news. She had lived with the man for two years, she thought she knew him better than anyone. He was always joking and looking happy, that was why she’d never suspected there was anything wrong with their relationship, let alone with him.

“I have it handled now, most days,” Gabriel said, with a bitter smile. “Far less self-destructive behaviors.” He finished his second shot of whiskey and forced out a smile. “I am sorry for what I did, Meg. I am thankful that you came here and listened to me, and I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

That was… extremely mature of him. Far more than Meg had expected.

“Why did you ask me to come here, then?”

“Oh, this wasn’t about me. This was about Cas.”

Meg leaned back and crossed her arms over her chess, defensive. She didn’t like the pang in the chest she’d felt the moment he’d heard his name; she didn’t like that she had been thinking about him as much or more as she had been thinking about Gabriel. About that moment in the elevator, about the words they’d said.

“What about him?” she asked, with far more hostility than she’d displayed before, even about towards her cheating ex-boyfriend.

“Are you kidding me? Dude is miserable!” Gabriel stated. “Like, I’m actually worried about him. I’ve never seen him like this, not even after that bitch April was done with him. You know him, he takes everything in stride, but this… I think this might have broken him.”

She bit the inside of her cheek. She didn’t like to hear about that. She still cared for Castiel, at the very least enough to care what happened to him. If Gabriel had groveled and told her she was miserable, maybe she would have taken a bit of vindictive pleasure on it.

Knowing that Castiel was suffering only made herself feel even worse than she already did.

But she wasn’t going to budge that easily.

“And you think that has something to do with me?”

“Uh, I have no doubt in my mind it does!” Gabriel replied. He didn’t seem surprise at Meg’s harshness. It took her a moment to realize that, despite how far away she felt from him right now, he knew her just as well as she did him. “He’s been carrying this torch for you all of these years and when he finally gets to see you again, it blows up in his face because his asshole of a brother fucked up.”

“It wasn’t just you,” Meg said. “He could have talked to me.”

“I know. I said the same thing to him,” Gabriel pointed out. “But what the both of us are ignoring is that he did talk to you.”

Meg opened her mouth.

“Yes, it took him a while to do it.”

“It took him years…!”

“He still did it,” Gabriel insisted. “Even though I convinced him you were a horrid person, he still extended his hand towards you. He would have found out he was wrong the more he talked to you, it was just… a socially inappropriate time when he actually did.”

Meg loathed to think he might have been right about that. If Castiel hadn’t invited her to the party or if she’d declined to go, they might have talked about Gabriel and what had really happened at some other time. She would still have been furious with him, but not so much with Castiel.

It was the fact that she made herself vulnerable, that she had dared to kiss him and show him how she felt, and that he’d turned her down at that precise moment that had made it all even worse.

Of course, Gabriel had no way of knowing what had happened in the room moments before she blew up at him, but the description was still fairly accurate.

She still looked away, annoyed.

“Meg, you can’t stay mad at him forever.”

“Why not?” she groaned.

“Because… he’s Cas.”

She hated that she had no real good answer to that.

* * *

Castiel fidgeted with his phone, nervous. He practically jumped every time he saw something that remotely resembled a bus or a white van, anything that remotely resembled the paratransit that Meg would be arriving on.

He was surprised when he saw that she had sent another message to him from Facebook. He was even more surprised to discovered there was a deleted message that he’d apparently sent her the day after the party, but when he asked Claire what could have happened, she claimed to have no knowledge of it. Castiel assumed he must have sent it in the middle of the night and immediately regretted it.

It wouldn’t be that strange. It had been almost two weeks since his birthday party and he still felt like he was walking in a haze. He was there, his body was there, doing all of the things that he was supposed to do: working with the bees, answering calls from Anna and Kelly, going home and watching a documentary or reading a book.

But more often than not, he found himself not really paying attention to what was going on in the screen or that he reached the end of a page and he couldn’t remember a word that he’d read. People kept telling him he seemed distant, distracted… and well, it wasn’t like they were wrong.

His thoughts flew over and over to that night, to Meg, to how sad she’d seen when she said she didn’t know if she could forgive him. He kept thinking if he said something different, if he’d done something different, maybe…

And then she’d asked him to meet him in the same café as before. So he could hand back her phone, obviously.

Castiel hadn’t tried to talk about anything else through the chat. He didn’t want to ask how she’d gone for so long without her phone and why she’d chosen to meet him in the same place. He felt like he had no right to ask about any of that.

But if this was the last time he would see Meg, he wanted it to be right. It was impossible not to make it awkward, but he still wanted to let her know that he was his friend, that his feelings for were honest and he could wait. He could wait all the time she needed him too…

The paratransit stopped at the door and Castiel swallowed. Meg rolled down the extended ramp on her chair, looked over her shoulder to wave at the driver and moved towards the café’s doors. He felt the impulse to stand up and walked up to her, but he resisted it.

Finally, she reached his table and positioned the chair so she would be facing him.

“Hello, Castiel,” she said.

Cas. Not Clarence, again. He felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach.

“Hello. I’m… uh, here’s your phone,” he said, placing it over the table and sliding it towards her.

The moment she grabbed it, he regretted doing so. Now that she had, she had no reason to stick by and they wouldn’t be able to talk and she would never…

Meg calmly put the phone away in her backpack.

“Have you ordered?” she asked.

“N-not yet,” he stammered.

Meg signaled the waitress and asked for two coffees. One black, one with milk, the way he drunk it. Then, slowly, she turned towards him with a soft smile on her lips.

“So… how you’ve been?”

“I…” Castiel started, mesmerized by her smile and confused as hell at the same time. “It’s been… a week.”

“I get you.” Meg laughed. “I had one of the students panic while she was trying to take a blood sample from a patient and she ended almost stabbing his arm through.”

Castiel tried to find it funny, but he was still too confused to truly do that. The waitress brought their beverages and left quickly.

“You… you aren’t still angry with me?” he asked, because he didn’t know what else to do. He needed to know where they were standing, he needed to know if this was really their last conversation or if he was allowed to hold on to hope.

Meg drank her coffee slowly and quietly. It was almost like she herself needed to think long and hard about the answer to that question.

“I think I am, still. A little bit, at least,” she admitted. She put her cup down and smiled at him. “But I’ve spent too much time being angry, I think.”

She stretched her hand over the table, her palm up. A gesture of truce, a peace offering.

“And I have really, really missed you,” she added.

Her eyes were big and sweet. Castiel was never not going to be breathless whenever he looked into them.

Tentatively, he stretched his hand as well and placed it over hers. He was so relieved when Meg intertwined her fingers with his and squeezed. Maybe he wasn’t forgiven yet, but she was at least willing to let him earn it.

That was enough of a reason to smile back at her.

“I’ve missed you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


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